


Redefined

by sweetlolixo



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins, M/M, Ruki is an angry smol assassin who just needs to be loved, Yuu is a spoilt princess - OR IS HE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-26 22:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 76,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6258445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetlolixo/pseuds/sweetlolixo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicknamed <em>Shadow Killer</em>, Takanori is one assassin that’s extremely good at his job. When he is tasked by the president of the Takashima Group to find his kidnapped lover, Yuu, Takanori has to find a way to get him back safely into Kouyou’s arms – which proves to be a difficulty when his mission gets derailed, and he is forced to spend time with Yuu, far more than he’d bargained for.</p><p>
  <b>AUTHOR ON INDEFINITE HIATUS</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter, Takanori looks like this (complete with eye make-up and everything) -> [here](http://art53.photozou.jp/pub/72/68072/photo/134734599.jpg) and [here](http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa451/blackmoral_/omega1.jpg)

“Yuu sweetheart, I’m sure the chauffeur’s just gone out for a smoke break,” Kouyou reassures, his tone as coaxing as possible. He can hear Yuu’s frustrated huffs at the other end of the line – nothing new from his spoilt raven-haired fiancé – and all it does is make Kouyou break into low chuckles, striding down past the long hallways of his office building with his phone clutched close to his ear. As the president of the Takashima Group, and owner of a prestigious hotel chain that is widely renowned in Asia, Kouyou’s a busy man, and every minute of his time is insanely precious. He is used to turning away nonsensical calls, and doesn’t speak to anyone not worth even a single second of his time, especially now so that he’s on his way to an extremely important meeting with the shareholders of his company.  
  
But just five minutes ago, his gorgeous fiancé had called Kouyou abruptly on his personal cellphone shrieking about a missing chauffeur, and Kouyou has never had the heart to deny his lover anything, much less ignore any of Yuu’s calls. Yuu is the love of Kouyou’s life, and the only thing that makes him feel sane again amidst his busy schedule. Kouyou has never thought it a burden to entertain Yuu’s frivolous calls throughout his day, and in a way, Kouyou loves the fact that he’s needed; that he’s the first person Yuu thinks of and calls up whenever Yuu wishes to share a part of his day to someone. Kouyou loves hearing Yuu’s voice, Kouyou loves teasing his beautiful fiancé, Kouyou loves being the only person that can solve all of Yuu’s problems in a snap. Yuu means everything to Kouyou, and Kouyou wants to mean everything in the world to Yuu, too.  
  
“The chauffeur just disappeared! _Disappeared_! I told him to wait for me at the front entrance of the mall after I was done. Do you think he’s made off with all the bags I left with him? I’d _just_ picked up the jewellery you reserved for me this morning. I’ve waited two months for its launch!” Yuu further laments over the phone, and Kouyou shakes his head, hiding a smile to himself. Some may call Yuu superficial; shallow, even, because this isn’t the first time that Yuu has called Kouyou up whining about trivial matters like getting a late ride, but Kouyou simply finds his fiancé adorable, and doesn’t find Yuu empty-headed at all. Yuu has come from a privileged background himself, just like Kouyou – and Yuu has led his entire life being waited on.  
  
Yuu’s intelligent, he really is, for he has received world-class education growing up, as well as taken classes that any other wealthy child would have also taken – piano lessons, dancing lessons, Latin lessons, even if the language is as good as dead, anyway – and Yuu is educated in at least three other languages, because it’s a requirement for people like them. Yuu’s father is an affluent businessman and investor, and the importance of being able to converse eloquently in various languages is a skill that they need to pick up in order to network in their trade of business. However, Yuu doesn’t have plans to partake in any of his family’s work, preferring a carefree life of staying by Kouyou’s side.  
  
Kouyou thinks their union has been inevitable from the very start, with two incredibly influential families coming together. So, as spoilt as Yuu may come off, Kouyou simply feels that it’s a personality that’s been borne out of Yuu’s privileged upbringing, and he can’t blame Yuu for his need to be coddled constantly by Kouyou. Kouyou loves it too, loves overindulging Yuu in return, loves ensuring Yuu has everything he needs. It’s a win-win situation for the both of them, and Kouyou doesn’t see a problem with it at all.  
  
“Baby, I’m sure he’s on his way back to you, just give it another minute or two,” Kouyou says over the phone, hoping he sounds convincing enough for Yuu to calm down from his agitation. Yuu always frets way too much when something goes wrong – evidently, nothing much goes wrong in Yuu’s life – and Kouyou always makes sure he’s there to soothe the raven-haired, and comfort him into oblivion.  
  
“You better be right,” Yuu grumpily answers, already in a bad mood. Kouyou has to hold back a laugh, because he can’t help himself when Yuu acts so endearing like this.  
  
“Hey… Wait, Kouyou, I think I see the car heading this way. Looks like smoke break’s over.”  
  
Kouyou grins. “See, I was right. What did I tell you? He just went off for a little while. I’ll have a stern word with him once I’m home about this, but in the meantime, you get in that car and get safely back home, okay?”  
  
Yuu’s mood is instantly elevated now that his ride is here, and his tone perks up two notches. “I’m just glad the jewellery’s not gone! Do you know how long I’ve waited for it to arrive? Two. Whole. Months. I’d never forgive the chauffeur if he made off with it!”  
  
Kouyou hears the gentle clicking of the car door being pulled open for Yuu by the chauffer over the phone, and he smiles, glad that Yuu’s whole ordeal is over. Kouyou halts in his tracks just then, stopping short just outside of the office’s conference room, his eyes casually glancing over down to the expensive watch on his wrist. Five more minutes till the start of his meeting. He has to bade goodbye to Yuu, now, and promise to call him again when he’s on the way home. _Their_ home.  
  
“Baby, my meeting’s starting in five,” Kouyou informs the raven apologetically, sorry to cut their conversation short. “You’ll be fine in the meantime, won’t you?”  
  
“I’m fine,” Yuu responds, settling into his seat on his end just as the chauffeur slams the car door shut. “I’ll see you later for dinner. You’ve made reservations at that pasta place I like, right?”  
  
“I have,” Kouyou says, raising a hand at the same time to wave at a man walking to him in the distance. “I see Genji arriving for the meeting. I have to go now, princess. I love you, okay?”  
  
“I love you, too,” Yuu reiterates, happy to hear Kouyou’s words. “See you later, mister president.”  
  
Kouyou can’t wait to see Yuu tonight already, he really can’t.  
  
~  
  
Half an hour later, his secretary busts open the doors to the conference room, breathless and gasping for air, having run all the way here, with a phone tightly clutched in hand. Kouyou breaks away from the discussion with the rest of the shareholders seated around the meeting table, and his eyes gaze sharply to the sudden entrance of his secretary. With a tight smile hovering upon his lips, Kouyou’s brows bear creases, unhappy with the uncalled for disruption. He hopes that his secretary has a good reason for bursting into a meeting like this, because Kouyou isn’t very forgiving when it comes to work matters, and he’s ready to fire anyone who doesn’t follow protocol and proper etiquette around here.  
  
“Sir, you have a call,” are the only words that leave the secretary’s lips, and Kouyou’s almost ready to lunge for her neck.  
  
“I never take calls during meetings,” Kouyou snaps, for it’s a simple rule that his secretary – of all people – should know when it comes to him. His secretary instant flinches at his tone, hoping Kouyou will understand when she explains further.  
  
“It’s your fiancé, sir,” she elaborates, knowing that a mention of Kouyou’s lover will calm his anger, and Kouyou indeed lowers his harsh gaze at that mention, curiosity filling his mind instead. What is Yuu calling him for? He has already told Yuu he’s in a meeting, and Yuu is understanding enough to know not to disturb Kouyou when he’s involved in those.  
  
“Tell Yuu I’ll call him back,” Kouyou instructs, but the secretary remains adamant for Kouyou to take the call, her face hardening and the look in her eyes persistent.  
  
“I don’t mean to be rude, sir, but it’s very important that you take this now,” she insists, and immediately Kouyou is overcome with concern when he realises something is horribly, _horribly_ wrong. His face goes ashen at the thought of Yuu possibly coming into any harm’s way, and Kouyou gets up from his seat quickly, excuses himself from the table, and makes his way hurriedly to his secretary’s side.  
  
He closes the doors to the conference room, shutting them behind him, and takes the phone from his secretary’s hand, his eyes darting anxiously to his secretary at the same time for an explanation.  
  
“They’re asking for a ransom,” she whispers, visibly shaking now that they’re out of sight. The information takes Kouyou by shock, and he goes into complete silence, nothing but dread filling his heart. _Ransom?_ “They don’t sound like they’re from around here. I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t know what to do, I ran to you as soon as I could–”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Kouyou demands, his throat tightening, unable to will himself to digest the piece of unfortunate news that just met his ears. His beloved fiancé… _kidnapped_? He’d only just spoken to Yuu half an hour ago; it’d only been a short moment before this that Yuu’s sweet voice was cooing to Kouyou, telling him cute _I love you_ s. This couldn’t be happening to Kouyou. Not here, not now, not ever. Kouyou can’t stand the thought of Yuu _even_ having to wait for a late ride, and now he’s being told that Yuu is being held by dangerous men in exchange for… _ransom_?  
  
Kouyou’s heart can’t muster the energy for another beat. Yuu must be so, _so_ frightened. Yuu doesn’t do too well outside of his comfort zone, and he’s always had Kouyou with him, always had Kouyou protecting him. The image of Yuu struggling helplessly in the arms of menacing fugitives sends a hopeless pang to Kouyou’s heart. Yuu must be so afraid right now, and Kouyou’s not even within reach for him to hold and grasp. Yuu’s all alone.  
  
“He’s been taken, sir,” the secretary’s choking out, confirming, her eyes quivering with utmost fear.  
  
“Your fiancé’s been kidnapped.”  
  
~  
  
Takanori clutches a small, white towel in his grasp, desperately cleaning his blood-stained hands with it, eager to get rid of other people’s filth off of him. The unmistakable colour of fresh, vivid red stains the towel – critical evidence pinpointing to the damage he has done in the past hour. Takanori usually finishes menial tasks like these in half the time, however the gang he’d been ordered to wipe out this time had come ready with numerous back-up and several guns, and Takanori is only one person when compared to the many, after all. He has been lucky enough to abstain from getting shot or severely wounded this time, but Takanori knows his luck is slowly running out. He can’t be safe like this forever. His profession has always been risky, and Akira has been begging him to consider venturing into something else for the longest time, but Takanori doesn’t see any other available choices for him out there.  
  
Takanori has grown up in the slums and in the dangerous part of the neighbourhood, and that’s where he’ll belong, until the very day he dies. Or at least until his luck runs out and he dies on one of his jobs. Takanori is used to throwing punches and high-kicks, and wielding a blade in one hand, and a gun in the other. He’s used to sleeping with weapons underneath his pillow, sleeping with one eye open, and knowing he may not get the privilege to wake up the next day. He never goes out without a mask on, and he switches his identity with every new dawn. No one knows his true name, not even Akira, who’s probably the only real friend he has around here. Perhaps Takanori’s gotten so used to living in the shadows that he refuses to step out into the light, to meet others, to get a proper – and legal – occupation like every other normal citizen on the street.  
  
There are a couple of job vacancies, Akira reminds him, on the nice end of Takanori’s neighbourhood; openings for waiters, servers, bartenders, all of which would provide Takanori with an income meagre enough to survive, and an environment that wouldn’t endanger Takanori’s life, or have a ten-inch knife pressed up to his throat every goddamn damn time. Takanori won’t consider it though, for the life of him, and he brushes it off every single time Akira brings up the topic. Akira works as a gun dealer, for god’s sake, Takanori always counters back; Akira’s in no position to lecture Takanori what to do. The .22 caliber revolver that Takanori has, currently shoved in his back pocket, is from Akira, and it’s the trusty one that Takanori always brings out with him, the one that always gets the job done neatly and easily.  
  
It’s also the one that Takanori immediately pulls out when he hears a single footstep behind him, and he aims it right to the entrance of the door, expertly fixing in onto the intruding party’s forehead, even before Takanori has turned his body around fully to face the trespasser. Takanori thought he’d already killed everyone in this karaoke bar, but apparently not. Takanori rarely makes mistakes, and he’s surprised that he has made one this assignment.  
  
_Wait_ , Takanori squints to the taller man standing before him, his hand on his revolver still firm. His eyes divert down quickly to the black briefcase the man is holding, and then sweep back up to analyse the calm and collected features of the man’s face. This man isn’t part of the gang. And he’s not, in any way, related to Takanori’s task at hand. Takanori has seen this man enough on the news, and heard him talked about amongst the gangs, to know who he really is.  
  
“Takashima Kouyou,” Takanori identifies right off the bat. He recoils as the name falls off his lips, having never expected to ever come into contact with this man. Other than being the only son of a high-ranking politician, head of the Takashima Group, and owner of several elite establishments in the country, Kouyou also has a diverse network with the underground mafia, even if he doesn’t personally dabble in it much. People like him stay at the top, and never come to the ground.  
  
Takanori’s been employed by Kouyou’s underlings to complete a task or two, often to dispose of rivalling members of society, but Takanori has never seen Kouyou in person. He doesn’t have a reason to, anyway. Takanori’s an individual assassin, and he works for no one. He takes jobs as he pleases, and often only the kind of jobs that pay _extremely_ well. Takanori’s reputation has afforded him the privilege to be able to pick and choose, and he likes for it to remain that way. He pledges allegiance to nobody.  
  
“Put the gun down,” Kouyou orders, seemingly unthreatened by Takanori’s presence. Kouyou must know who he is, and yet he doesn’t seem afraid. Rarely ever do people get to meet Takanori up-close, and get away with it. Takanori’s almost offended by how indifferent Kouyou is reacting to him, and Takanori wonders to himself if he has a sick need to know people fear him. Perhaps Takanori does.  
  
Taking another look at Kouyou though, Takanori’s eyes are filled with suspicion, and yet… approval at the same time. It’s no wonder Kouyou can get to where he is now, in such an established place in society, with that authoritative tone of voice. Kouyou’s a looker, Takanori can’t deny that, even if Takanori has no intention of romancing anyone here. Nevertheless, what’s most important about Kouyou is that he commands respect and attention from his voice alone, and has a natural ability to compel people to listen to him, work for him. Takanori doesn’t expect any less from a president, especially the president of Takashima Group.  
  
Takanori lowers his arm, shoving the revolver back into his back pocket, now that he’s certain Kouyou comes bearing no threats. In fact, from the looks of his thick, bulging briefcase, Kouyou comes bearing gifts. Gifts in exchange for _something else_. Takanori’s not stupid, and he knows the briefcase can only contain the one thing he requires in exchange for his services. Money. Lots of it.  
  
“Impressive,” Kouyou says next, his eyes roaming around the countless dead bodies lying all over the place, all of which were killed with several bullet wounds. Kouyou steps over several of the carcasses, manoeuvring around them to get closer to Takanori – an action that sends the brunet assassin cringing, not liking being in _that_ near of a vicinity with anyone if it’s not necessary.  
  
“I can see why no one sees you, now. Anyone who does are all dead, aren’t they? People say it’s hard to catch you on the job. You’re rarely spotted; you’ve even earned yourself the name of _Shadow Killer_.”  
  
“Disgusting,” Takanori growls, and he really doesn’t like it, really doesn’t like such an awful alias being attached to him. He doesn’t like to have an identity, per say, and to have people single him out and distinguish him from the others by naming him after a peculiarity of his annoys him. Takanori pulls the black mask over his face up higher, an irate expression on his face. It’s a half-mask, one that covers only the bottom half of his face, enough to hide Takanori’s nose and lips, features that would easily give Takanori’s identity away.  
  
Takanori’s eyes are heavily made up with red and black eyeshadow, masking the real nature of his eyes, and Takanori thinks part of the reason people must fear him is because of the way he looks. Takanori looks nothing but intimidating in his get-up, and his disguise can almost be compared to war paint. A good assassin wins half the fight, already, when he looks _this_ frightening to his opponent.  
  
“My underlings tell me you go by Ruki,” Kouyou says with a raised eyebrow, and Takanori shrugs, eyes still warily watching Kouyou’s movements. Takanori had to give at least a _name_ to get people like Kouyou to contact him for jobs somehow, and Ruki was the best one he could come up with at that time. Right now, however, Kouyou’s taking his sweet time to talk to him, and Takanori’s frankly already sick and tired of it, wanting to go home and cleanse himself out of all these blood.  
  
“Ruki, I have a proposition for you.”  
  
“You better be paying well for all of the time you’ve made me waste, already,” Takanori mutters under his breath. A smile curls up his lips soon thereafter, a dangerous thought entering his head.  
  
“Or I could just shoot you.”  
  
“I don’t think you want to do that,” Kouyou warns, his steps coming to a standstill. He looks to Takanori distrustfully, suddenly remembering the kind of person he was dealing with. “You may be skilled, Ruki, but you forget who I am. I don’t think it takes a genius to realise that the connections I have will be able to kill you eventually. You’re only one person, after all.”  
  
Takanori grunts, finding him to be incredibly hypocritical. “If your connections are so good, why find me? And why find me _personally_?” It had rubbed Takanori off the wrong way the very moment he’d seen Kouyou standing before him. The higher-ups _never_ come down to the ground. Something huge must be at stake here if Kouyou’s seeking Takanori out in person.  
  
And then the answer clicks right into Takanori’s head, even before Kouyou voices his proposition out. Kouyou has an equally famous and elite lover that everyone knows of –  and that lover must be dead. _Or_ on the verge of death. The wealthy only ever do drive themselves crazy if their family or loved ones are at stake.  
  
Love is weakness.  
  
“Because you’re the best lone assassin I’ve heard of, and I need someone like you to do this job. My fiancé has been taken by Chinese fugitives. They want ten million dollars, and I have two weeks to transfer them the money before they kill my fiancé. I have suspicions that the 18K triad is behind this, but I don’t have enough evidence to back it up. I need you to get my fiancé back to me as soon as you can – preferably less than a week. The longer Yuu is in their hands, the more he’ll suffer, and I can’t bear the thought of anyone laying a single hand onto him.”  
  
Suddenly, that domineering tone of his is gone. Takanori’s momentarily surprised, watching as deep pain and anguish flooded Kouyou’s eyes, his expression distraught when he speaks of his fiancé. _So_ , powerful men like Kouyou have feelings too, and Yuu is the key to unravelling his very being. A man like Kouyou probably dotes on his lovers a lot, and the way he talks of Yuu clearly indicates that Takanori’s dealing with another privileged, heavily pampered person at hand. In the next second, Kouyou’s pulling out a brown envelope full of Yuu’s personal information, and he’s throwing it across to Takanori, gesturing for Takanori to take a look at his supposed target.  
  
_Shiroyama Yuu_ , Takanori reads, his eyes skimming past the various documents he pulls out quickly from within the envelope. There are many photos of Yuu alone, as well as ones with Kouyou the man himself, and Takanori can’t help but stare at the face that Takashima Kouyou calls his lover. Yuu’s exceptionally attractive, in more ways than one, with his long raven hair and dark moonlit eyes; and Takanori feels sorry for him when he thinks about what the fugitives will do to Yuu now that Yuu is in their hands. There’s no way a normal, raging hormonal man will _not_ lay hands on him when Yuu’s so easy on the eyes. It’s also easy to see that Yuu has come from a wealthy background from the elegant manner his raven hair is always styled in, and the classy manner his lean body is always dressed in. Yuu has definitely been well-bred, alright, and Takanori’s cocking an eyebrow up when he realises this is the damsel in distress he has to save over the next couple of days.  
  
“Pretty face,” Takanori lets out a dry chuckle, complimenting, and Kouyou immediately pulls out a gun on his end without a single word and aims it right into Takanori’s face. Takanori’s eyes glint in the darkness, sensing a challenge. It’s been so long since anyone actually pointed a gun straight to his face, and it has never ended with them walking away from the fight alive. Kouyou has guts – and he knows Takanori will not kill him. Kouyou’s purely sending a threat, a threat for Takanori to keep his hands off his lover, or Kouyou will not hesitate to end him.  
  
“ _My_ fiancé,” Kouyou repeats, holding the gun a second longer to send a message that Yuu is _his_ , and his alone. Then he’s putting the gun away, his eyes rimming with anger, his face flushing with hot-blooded rage. “I want you to retrieve Yuu. Make sure he’s safe. Kill any man who has lay hands on him. Kill as many people as you have to, I don’t give a fuck. Blow up an island for all I care. The safer Yuu is – that is, the lesser the body wounds on him – I will reward you and pay you accordingly. The ransom is set at ten million, but I will pay you _twenty_. This price can be adjusted if I feel you deserve higher. In my briefcase here, I have two million. Take it as deposit for what is to come. It’s also money that you can use to buy any necessities you require for you to take on this mission.”  
  
Takanori’s maniac laughter echoes around the place when he hears the amount that Kouyou’s offering him. Rich people really do crazy things for their loved ones. Twenty million can ensure Takanori’s survival for the rest of his _life_ , considering Takanori really doesn’t spend that much on himself, and he doesn’t have _anyone_ to spend on. He can even give Akira half of that amount and he’ll still have enough. Besides, retrieving a kidnapped fiancé? It’s easy work for Takanori; Takanori has done worse for less. Takanori’s an idiot if he doesn’t take up this job. Takanori’s looking to retire, anyway. He knows he can’t keep this job up forever, as good as he is at it.  
  
“Deal,” Takanori grins. “Question. You have connections with many mafia groups. Why not use them?” Takanori may be a skilled assassin, but at the end of the day, he’s still a one-man show. There are limitations to what he can do, even if Takanori argues that he works the best when he’s alone. Takanori’s never failed a job, though, so Takanori guesses his clients have nothing to worry about.  
  
“I can’t let this be a large-scale operation. Yuu’s life is at stake here, and I need to make sure as little people betray me as possible. I don’t want him to be snatched by different groups in the mafia, in a bid to attain the highest ransom from me and milk him for his worth as much as possible.”  
  
“Or you could just pay the ransom and get him back, too,” Takanori casually informs, giving a teasing nod to Kouyou.  
  
Kouyou looks incredulously to him in disbelief. “You and I both know that can only end in two ways. They kill him, or they ask for more money. They have no intention to give Yuu back to me, Ruki. You of all people should know.”  
  
“Oh, trust me, I know,” Takanori chuckles. He has spent ten years in this business. He knows every trick in this line of work, and he has survived every single one of them. Utilised some of them, even. Takanori’s as crafty as the next person you can find in these dangerous slums – perhaps even worse. He has the street smarts that these wealthy people never will have, and that’s why he’s so sought after by people like Kouyou. They need Takanori. And Takanori needs their money – and the adrenaline rush.  
  
“One last thing,” Kouyou softens his tone out of the blue, casting his eyes to the side. Takanori’s amused by the sight. “I’d prefer it if you treated Yuu… with care. He’s fragile, and he’s probably not used to… all of these. The underworld, assassins, guns… It’s all new to him. I imagine he’d have suffered plenty of trauma by the time you find him.”  
  
Takanori shrugs. “Oh. He’s a spoilt one. I get it.”  
  
Kouyou swallows back his anger, reminding himself that this is the man whose hands he is leaving Yuu’s life in. “Remember, the faster you get him to me, the better I’ll reward you,” Kouyou snarls, leaving the black briefcase on the nearest table next to him, already making a move to leave this place. “I’ve written my personal phone number down on the papers I’ve given to you. Update me when necessary. Should you fail in saving Yuu, Ruki…”  
  
“…I will be killed,” Takanori finishes, not at all surprised by the thinly veiled threat. It’s a do-or-die mission, and Takanori’s hardly bothered by it. He has never failed any of his tasks, and this will not be his first. “Don’t worry, Takashima. I always try my hardest to save the pretty faces.”  
  
He’s laughing, even, when Kouyou threatens to point his gun to him for the second time.  
  
~  
  
Takanori drops by Akira’s shop afterwards; a small, shabby place passed down to Akira by his father in the bad part of his neighbourhood. Akira’s business thrives due to his long-standing connections with loyal customers, as well as the occasional hooligan or teenage delinquent. Akira out-sources his services to the smaller street gangs too, and so he makes enough to be able to lead a comfortable life. What Takanori likes about Akira though, is that Akira doesn’t see a need to prove himself to others. Akira makes enough to get a nicer apartment out there, perhaps even closer to the city, but Akira sees no need for it, and prefers to stay in the place he’s been brought up in and continue the family business. Akira’s big on loyalty, and Takanori can vouch for that, because Akira hasn’t ratted him out in ten years.  
  
When Takanori enters Akira’s shop, he’s shutting the doors behind him and locking them, only feeling safe enough to take off his mask once he does so. Akira’s the only one around here that knows how Takanori truly looks like, and he’s also the one that helps mend Takanori’s wounds, fixing him up when Takanori’s too hurt to do so. Needless to say, Takanori had gotten the idea to wear masks from Akira. Akira wears bandanas over his face himself, shrouding himself in a particular cloud of mystery that Takanori always liked, even though he really knows that Akira only covers his nose up because of a gunshot wound that he’d gotten in his teenage years. Akira never talks much about it, and Takanori never pushes Akira to. Takanori always prefers less conversation anyway, and never finds it in his place to question anybody, as long as they don’t question him in return.  
  
“You got lucky this time,” Akira says from behind the counter, when he eyes Takanori’s physique, pleased to see that the brunet’s limbs were still intact. “Remember that gunshot wound to your chest the other time? _That_ took forever to heal. And you wouldn’t even go to a hospital for it.”  
  
“If I’m meant to die, I die,” Takanori groans. Akira’s a true friend to be caring so much for him, but Takanori sometimes really wishes he wouldn’t. Takanori doesn’t deserve it, and he doesn’t need Akira weighing on his conscience whenever Takanori finds himself in potentially dangerous situations. Takanori can’t risk getting too attached to anyone in this profession of his, and he has done such a splendid job of it so far.  
  
“Anyway, I have another job coming up. I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I need you to get me more cases of bullets, and a couple of other spare guns. Just in case. I’ll be leaving to get some hair dye later, need to change my looks up a bit.”  
  
Akira’s not too happy to hear about Takanori getting another task so soon, but he doesn’t say anything about it, understanding that this is Takanori’s job. He simply nods, and reaches for the drawers to retrieve the things Takanori has asked for, getting him his usual.  
  
“How long will you be gone this time?” Akira asks.  
  
“I’ll be quick. Five days, probably. It’s an out of the country job. Already got plane tickets booked for me by the man himself. It’s an urgent one.” Takanori shrugs. “Takashima Kouyou. Heard of him before? His fiancé’s been kidnapped. Media doesn’t know, of course. Keep it on the down low.”  
  
“Oh, I understand,” Akira nods, understanding never to interfere with Takanori’s affairs. “Everyone knows him. Son of finance minister, right? Must be really important, then.”  
  
“Yeah,” Takanori smirks. “Offering a _huge_ sum, too. I’m looking to retire, anyway.”  
  
Akira’s smiling when he hears the news. “That’s a good thing, Ru.”  
  
“Then make sure you give me the best you can offer,” Takanori gestures to the resources in Akira’s possession. “I’m going straight for the kill this time, Akira. And I don’t expect many to come out alive.”  
  
And Takanori knows if he doesn’t succeed in this assignment of his, he won’t come out alive, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my. first. Rukaoi fic :D:D:D:D:D and my first fic (outside of SA) that I've written in a while! I've worked on SA since late 2014, so this is something different. XD also thanks [Izu](https://twitter.com/ningen_miss) for giving me muse for this story *A*
> 
> if you follow me on twitter, you'd realise that I've been tweeting about working on an assassin AU for awhile!!! and this is it. (you'd also have realised I've been hopping onto the Rukaoi train for awhile now...)
> 
> I know I still have SA's side-story to do, but I promise I'll still update that!!! I just really wanted to write this one out. Like SA, I've already started putting together a playlist for this fic, and I'll share it when it's ready and more sorted out <3
> 
> I know I've been a rather faithful Uruha/Aoi author, but I hope there will be interest in this pairing/story ;A;;;;; and hey there's the so obvious Uruoi that I faithfully included in this fic as well, so :D:D:D
> 
> comments are sooo appreciated. <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takanori changes up his look this chapter. He goes blond. [Reference photo 1](https://41.media.tumblr.com/5bd511e6f79c3a27fc565f0e966ea2f7/tumblr_o4n6sy3JHI1rtf9v6o1_500.jpg) | [Reference photo 2](https://40.media.tumblr.com/2b39f42c287a1b13885ad376de6b6cfc/tumblr_o4n6sy3JHI1rtf9v6o2_540.jpg)

Two plane flights, an uncomfortable ride in the back of a truck (he’d been hiding), and a warehouse full of dead people later, Takanori locates the very purpose of his mission in a locked room hidden far out in the back of the warehouse. Shiroyama Yuu’s clearly a vocal one – good and bad on both counts – and it’s not hard for the assassin to follow the trail of muffled screaming. Takanori takes out both men standing on guard, kicks the door open, and comes into sight with a discernibly shuddering raven-haired, his lithe frame curled up in the corner of the white-washed room, his eyes blind-folded and his mouth silenced by a thick wad of cloth. His wrists, along with his ankles, are bounded by grey metal chains, and Takanori’s cursing when he takes out his gun and shoots them free. He then kneels down next to the raven and releases Yuu from his restrains as quickly as possible.  
  
Yuu had stopped screaming a while ago when he heard the gun shots outside the room, knowing better to resist if an intruder – and a more dangerous one at that – had arrived, placing him in potentially even more perilous circumstances. Yuu doesn’t resist at all as Takanori’s hands fumble across his wrists and ankles to untangle the chains, no, he’s smarter than that; and when Takanori finally loosens the cloth around his eyes and mouth, enabling Yuu to see and speak for the first time in slightly under forty-eight hours, for a moment Yuu remains still, blinking slowly, allowing the light to finally filter back into his eyes, allowing himself to take in the surroundings he’d never gotten a chance to see in all the time he’s physically been here. He has been waiting for Kouyou himself to save him all these while, and he’s almost disappointed to see such a fierce-looking stranger as his rescuer – but he’s finally out of his chains, and he’s not complaining.  
  
Takanori doesn’t say a word himself when his gaze falls upon the bewitching face of the man he has only seen in pictures, for Yuu’s dark, illuminated eyes speak for themselves. As the blind-fold leaves Yuu’s head, Yuu’s hair loosens and falls around his face to frame the raven’s jaw nicely, and Takanori’s throat tightens at the sight. Yuu’s utterly gorgeous, and is the very definition of the word _ravishing_. He’s even prettier in real life, as compared to the photos Kouyou had given Takanori. Takanori doesn’t even realise he has gone speechless the very second their eyes meet; the very second he sees Yuu for the very first time. It’s not as if Takanori has never lay eyes on an attractive person before – he _has,_ but it’s not everyday you come into close contact with a Shiroyama Yuu, especially not when Takanori’s so used to killing the people in his sight, _not_ saving them. Takanori’s far from heroic, and he’d never dare label himself a saviour in this lifetime.  
  
Yuu’s eyes flutter back up to the assassin curiously, more frightened than anything else, and Takanori doesn’t blame him for it. A pretty face with such an affluent background must be so used to being chauffeured and waited on everywhere he goes, and to be so roughly treated in the past couple of days by wild savages must have been traumatising for him, to say the least. Yuu’s probably wondering why this stranger’s rescuing him, Yuu’s probably wondering why all the men that have been standing on guard are now dead. And Yuu’s almost pulling back from Takanori’s touches, uncertain if he should be leaning in to them, unsure if Takanori is someone he can trust.  
  
Even if Takanori has shot all of his captors dead, Yuu can’t be too confident that Takanori is a friend, and not an enemy. He may be someone from another gang who wants Yuu in his possession instead, to get the handsome ransom from his wealthy and famed fiancé. Takanori has his mask on too, and his eyes – the only part of his face that are visible – are distinctively smeared with his usual black and red eyeshadow, so Takanori thinks he must look like intimidating to Yuu, like a man who has ill intentions to further harm the raven-haired. They spend a couple of seconds staring into each other’s eyes, with Yuu still too apprehensive to trust Takanori.  
  
Takanori knows he can’t afford to waste any goddamn time around here, however; the rest of the triad in this country will catch wind of his arrival soon enough, and _then_ they’ll be sending back-up, and Takanori can’t be arsed enough to deal with more back-up. He prefers to conserve his bullets, anyhow, in case of any emergency situation – he hasn’t even gotten Yuu back to Kouyou’s grasp yet. So, _show’s over_ , Takanori quickly reprimands himself, as he pulls away from Yuu’s baffled stare and pulls roughly at Yuu’s arms, forcing him to get up. Takanori winces when he feels Yuu’s soft, supple skin in his hold, taking care not to bruise any of it. Every inch of that skin is worth money, according to Kouyou’s no-bruise policy, but now Takanori fears he may have a slight problem with that rule if Yuu’s skin is so delicate and prone to injury. Takanori’s almost certain the raven-haired must be used to bathing himself daily in nothing but milk and sweet-scented oils – there’s no way skin can feel so soft, otherwise. _Fuck_.  
  
“Who are you?” Yuu’s eyes are, forgivably, flashing with panic and terror as he’s dragged out of the room by Takanori, having not been given any introduction by Takanori before being so rudely taken like this. Yuu tries valiantly to keep up with Takanori’s running pace, registering that this man that’s pulling him along must not be _normal_ – he clearly knows how to work a gun, he runs at the speed of light, and he dresses like he doesn’t want anyone to know he exists. The more Yuu analyses the man before him, the more Yuu is convinced being with this man may bring him more trouble than good. Yuu can’t be faulted for thinking this way, can he? Yuu has been transported from place to place ever since he got kidnapped, and Yuu no longer knows where he is. He doesn’t want to stray even further from Kouyou, who must be waiting for him back home.  
  
“Please, I just want to go home, I don’t want any trouble–”  
  
“Your fiancé sent me to save you, so shut the fuck up,” Takanori barks back, and it instantly quietens the raven-haired, who’s too startled to speak. Yuu’s fears are assuaged the moment Kouyou is mentioned, and Yuu doesn’t see any reason to not take Takanori’s word for it. Perhaps it’s because Yuu has been waiting for some _action_ the past couple of days, he’s been waiting for something to be done to save him from this mess. He knows Kouyou would never leave him to die like this; he knows Kouyou wouldn’t trust these gangs to hand Yuu simply over to him even if he paid the ransom. Kouyou’s too cautious, too smart for that, and Yuu has always been so thankful for his fiancé’s wits.  
  
The men back in the warehouse had been in talks, discussing about what to do with Yuu, and contemplating whether or not they should cut a finger or two from Yuu to convince Kouyou to pay them double the amount. Yuu had been horrified to tears the minute he’d heard those voices speaking of such things outside the door; he knew he couldn’t stay any longer in this place if he wanted to leave unscathed. And thankfully for him, Takanori had come just in time, stealing him away before any of those men had a chance to lay a finger on Yuu.  
  
“Is Kouyou here?” Yuu asks, obedient to him now that Takanori has revealed he has come here under Kouyou’s instructions. Yuu wants to get out of this alive too, and he won’t go against the very man that had slaughtered an entire warehouse of men just for him.  
  
“No,” Takanori answers, short and abrupt. Yuu wonders why Takanori is so angry-sounding, and if he’s this angry all the time. Perhaps if he’s an assassin of some sort, he must have some deep-rooted anger inside of him. People of his kind were so strange. Yuu’s had enough experience in the past two days to know not to mess with them.  
  
When they finally leave the premises, Yuu trembles when he realises they’re in the middle of nowhere, in some sort of desert, with only this one warehouse in sight. The sun is terribly warm, and Yuu can’t look up without shielding his eyes. Takanori releases his grip on Yuu’s wrist and stalks over to an old, battered-looking car, its windows full of dust. He forcefully pulls open the door and slides into the driver’s seat, yelling at Yuu to quickly follow. Yuu gapes to him when he realises Takanori is expecting him to get into the car himself – the raven hasn’t opened a car door in twenty years. Takanori would be damned, though, if Yuu expects him to open the car door for him. He’s here to save Yuu’s life, not wait on his pampered ass.  
  
Yuu outwardly grimaces when his pale hands land upon the grimy door to pull it open, and as he gets into the back seat of the car, he quickly shuts the door and hurriedly dusts his hands off, unable to stand the grubby feeling of dirt on his hands.  
  
Takanori watches all of these from his rear view mirror and snorts, realising that Yuu’s as horrific as he thought he would be.  
  
“Can’t stand a little dirt?” Takanori snidely remarks, one hand on the stick shift and the other on the steering wheel, beginning to drive. Yuu shoots him a scowl in response, not used to being so rudely spoken to.  
  
The car goes over a few bumps on the road – the road’s rough around here – and as the car jolts up and down, Yuu finds his body slamming back against the car seat, his head colliding painfully with the car window. Yuu has to calm himself down, has to try not to burst into tears after everything he’s been through. He’s so used to having Kouyou around to talk sweetly to him, to coddle him, and right now all he really wants is to hear Kouyou saying things that he needs to hear to get him through the day. Instead, he has a strange-looking assassin driving him out of the middle of nowhere, and said assassin has been yelling at him since the very moment they’d first met.  
  
“I haven’t taken a bath in days,” is the first thing Yuu says, in a soft voice to break the silence, curling his legs up to himself in his seat. For the first time, Yuu feels so alone, and the only thing keeping him going now is the thought that Kouyou will be waiting for him when he gets home. Yuu doesn’t know how to live without Kouyou, he really doesn’t.  
  
“Cry me a river,” Takanori responds back almost immediately, and Yuu’s too irate – and on the verge of tears – to fight back.  
  
“I just really want to go home,” Yuu murmurs, wiping at his eyes with his arm, having been through enough hardship in the past few days already. “I knew Kouyou would send someone for me. He wouldn’t leave me alone like that. I miss him so much. It’s been horrible without him. I’ve been starving. They barely gave me water and food, giving me only the minimal to survive. Kouyou would never do that to me. Kouyou always gives me the best.”  
  
It seems as if Yuu’s talking purely for the sake of talking, and Takanori oddly doesn’t have anything to say after that. Perhaps Yuu has missed human interaction, and perhaps he’s used to having people hear him out as he goes through his day. Maybe Takanori can’t offer much when it comes to companionship, but he can offer his ears at the very least.  
  
He’d seen the same distraught on Kouyou’s face when he spoke of Yuu; seen the pain and sadness in Kouyou’s eyes when he talked about his fiancé getting kidnapped. Yuu looks exactly the same now, talking about missing Kouyou, and Takanori realises the two must love each other very much. Kouyou is offering twenty million dollars to Takanori to ensure Yuu’s safety, and Yuu has talked about nothing but Kouyou since he got rescued. He can tell that Yuu depends a ton on Kouyou for his daily needs, and Kouyou must do the same, too.  
  
Regardless, what’s important for Takanori now is to ensure he gets Yuu to the airport safely to make it for their flight. Flights out of this domestic airport are scarce, and Takanori can’t afford for them to miss their flight.  
  
~  
  
“Two tickets for the next available flight, please,” Takanori requests urgently over the airport counter, a duffel bag over his shoulder, his other arm gripping Yuu’s wrist tightly in the other. Holding Yuu’s hand isn’t part of his plan, believe him; but the raven-haired walks leisurely at such a slow pace that it drives Takanori’s _nuts_. He doesn’t trust Yuu not to wander around, or be snatched by other members of the triad that had taken Yuu before, and so since Takanori doesn’t have handcuffs to cuff Yuu to him, he’s had to made do with some pre-school hand-holding.  
  
“Stop treating me like a child,” Yuu scoffs, trying to shake Takanori’s hold off him. Takanori’s firm tightens, his sharp fingernails almost digging into Yuu’s skin. Yuu’s blinking back tears.  
  
“Stop hurting me. I thought you were sent here to rescue me!”  
  
“Keep your goddamn voice down,” Takanori hisses, eyes surveying their vicinity. There are not much people here on a weekday in the middle of a sweltering hot afternoon, and it’ll be too easy to spot someone like Yuu in a place like this. Yuu’s so _unaware_ that it’s going to get the both of them killed. “You want those men back there to find you here and chain you up again?”  
  
“You don’t have to drag me along everywhere like I’m a child that will get lost,” Yuu hisses through his teeth. “You’re acting more like a kidnapper than a rescuer.”  
  
“My job here isn’t to be your man servant, Shiroyama,” Takanori speaks brusquely. “Want to keep your life? Deal with it.” Yuu’s reaction is _priceless_. No one has spoken to him like that so impolitely in years, and under normal circumstances, Yuu would have retaliated pettily, threatening to file a legal suit against him. Unfortunately for Yuu, his life has fallen into the hands of this stranger, and Yuu’s left with no choice but to remain with him.  
  
“It seems that our next flight’s almost fully booked,” the woman over the counter informs Takanori, browsing through the selection on her computer. “You and your companion will be in separate seats. Is that OK?”  
  
Fully booked? The last Takanori had checked a few hours ago, the plane was practically empty. Something has gone wrong, and Takanori knows the triad must be onto his arrival already. Takanori scans his surroundings once more, trying to spot for suspicious movement. Yuu’s still sulking in his spot, glaring up to the assassin, not realising they’re already in grave danger.  
  
“Was there a last-minute corporate booking?” Takanori questions, pulling Yuu closer to him. “The plane can’t be fully booked so quick.”  
  
The woman over the counter’s surprised by Takanori’s fast deduction. “Yes, there was. A last-minute booking, it seems. They’ve just checked in.”  
  
 _Fuck_. That means the men must already be here at the airport. They’re quick, Takanori has to give them that. They must have foreseen Takanori wiping out their men at their warehouse, and knew their next best bet would be to corner Takanori and Yuu here. And _this_ is why Takanori doesn’t take up rescue missions as much as he should, even if he has the skills to do so. They’re far too troublesome, involve too many complications, and there’s always a horrid possibility that something will go wrong midway his journey. Takanori prefers straightforward assignments where all he has to do is take out a man, or a gang full of them. Shooting people through the heart is easy. Taking care of spoilt brats on the other hand, are not.  
  
He thanks the woman for her service and then leaves the counter, pulling Yuu aside to a less discernible corner to keep them out of view. Yuu’s puzzled, but he goes along with it, waiting for Takanori to explain before he demands for an explanation.  
  
“Shiroyama,” Takanori addresses, voice suddenly taking on a serious and deadly tone. “We have to get out of here, and we have to do it quietly. And fast.”  
  
Yuu’s eyes widen when it dawns unto him that they’re not taking the plane anymore, that he’s no longer able to be back in Kouyou’s arms within a day’s time.  
  
“What happened to flying back to see Kouyou?”  
  
“Plan’s changed. The men who took you are already in the airport. We can’t get spotted, or we’ll be dead.”  
  
“But I want to see Kouyou!” Yuu whines loudly, unwilling to remain any longer in this place. He’s sick and tired of being away from his lover, and he doesn’t think he can last a minute longer without hearing Kouyou’s comforting voice, or having Kouyou’s arms around him. What more get stuck with this asshole of an assassin.  
  
“I don’t want to stay here anymore! It’s terrible out here! Isn’t there another way we can get back?”  
  
“Listen,” Takanori’s eyes seethe with exasperation. “I don’t have time for you to throw some princessey tantrum. We need to get out, and we need to do it now. Or you’ll be dead, and the only way you will ever get to see your fiancé again is up in heaven.”  
  
“Or maybe you’re just a lousy assassin!” Yuu lashes out, incredibly annoyed that he’s not already on his way to see his beloved fiancé. “Why are you wearing that stupid mask anyway? Do you know how dumb you look–”  
  
A single gunshot rings through the air right then, cutting off Yuu mid-protest, and Takanori instantly grabs for Yuu’s arm and pushes him down, ducking from the incoming bullet. Yuu’s heart drums frenziedly in his chest, his hands quivering at the surprise attack. _No._ No way. They can’t already be back here to take him away.  
  
Takanori sighs, pulls out his own gun from within his jacket, and shields Yuu with his back. He can hear a few more gunshots and collective shouting from behind, and he’s quickly taking Yuu’s hand into his, aiming to keep Yuu safe until they both get back into their car outside.  
  
“Shiroyama,” Takanori begins quietly. “Stay close to me, and for fuck’s sake, _don’t_ let go of my hand.”  
  
He raises his arm up, fires two shots expertly at the men behind them, and then they _run_.  
  
~  
  
This time, when Yuu dashes back into the car, he’s not complaining about the grime on the door handles, or the dust it leaves on his skin. Yuu once again takes the back seat, locking the doors shut as soon as he’s behind them, and fearfully cowers down, holding in his screams when more bullets run through the car and shatter the glass windows. Takanori starts up the car, sets it in reverse, pauses to raise his gun once more to fire a couple of well-aimed shots through the windows, then begins pulling the car out of the lot, setting the both of them onto the road once more.  
  
“Keep your head down until I tell you it’s safe,” Takanori instructs, and Yuu nods compliantly, knowing better to question the man who’s saved his life more than once. The roads are jagged and bumpy in these parts, and it’s not a smooth ride, but Yuu doesn’t dare complain anymore when there are more pressing issues at hand.  
  
Yuu resumes his default position – hugging his knees to himself, and shaking – and it’s only a short moment later that the tears begin falling from his eyes, dripping and clattering and soiling the already filthy seats. Takanori’s too concerned momentarily looking in the rear view mirror to check if anyone’s following them, and it’s not only when Yuu’s sobs escalate to muted, choked up breathy pants that Takanori realises Yuu is… _crying_. When Takanori notices, his lips are in a tight line, and he’s once again cursing his luck for being stuck with babying a twenty-nine year old child that can’t seem to function properly without his billionaire fiancé next to him. It really makes Takanori question what Kouyou sees in him – other than Yuu’s looks alone, which is rather self-explanatory – when Yuu does nothing all day but whine about his needs and cry when he doesn’t get them.  
  
“Shut up,” Yuu snivels out, his dark eyes gradually turning red and puffy from all the tears that seep down his cheeks. He’s rubbing at them over and over again, seemingly fuming at the fact that he’d allowed his emotions to get the better of himself. But after all Yuu has been through, he feels entitled to let it all out at least once or twice. Yuu hasn’t cried a single tear throughout the entire time he’s been locked up back in the warehouse, too paralysed with fear to speak, having gone too much into shock at his situation to feel _anything_. Now that Yuu is so close to freedom – and yet not at the very same time – Yuu’s tired, Yuu’s exhausted, and Yuu just wants to cry it all out and go home. He’s not used to living a life without Kouyou, he’s dirty and sweaty all over, and he’s being chased by a bunch of lunatics all for the sake of a hefty sum of money.  
  
“I’m not saying anything,” Takanori mumbles, keeping his eyes on the road. He can tell that Yuu’s a feisty one, despite how vulnerable Yuu has been seen so far. Once the raven’s emotional meltdown is over, Takanori’s certain that he’ll be dealing with a far more problematic side of Yuu. He knows these types too well.  
  
“You think that I’m a crybaby and that I’m dumb,” Yuu accuses, and he heaves out another sob at that. “But you’re wrong. You’re mean, you’re rude, and you’re wrong. I just want to go home. I just miss Kouyou so much, okay? I miss my fiancé, my parents, my home, and my bath tub. I hate this ugly, dirty car, and I hate how judgmental you are.”  
  
Takanori lifts an eyebrow. Oh, so _now_ the princess was going in for personal insults.  
  
“Again, I want to point out that I’m not saying anything,” Takanori says, brushing Yuu’s remarks off. He’s barely offended. He can’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of him, much less what Yuu thinks. All he cares about is his handsome payout that Kouyou will reward him once Takanori gets Yuu back to him, and then he won’t have to deal with bratty princesses anymore – _for the rest of his life_.  
  
“You don’t have to say anything to make me feel stupid and alienated,” Yuu murmurs, keeping his eyes down. Takanori frowns when he hears Yuu’s words. Has he really been mistreating Yuu? All Takanori has been doing is his job.  
  
“I can’t believe my luck. Kouyou can get anyone in the world to save me, and he gets some lousy assassin that treats me like I’m eight. You can’t even get me out on a plane. Now I’m nowhere near Kouyou, and instead I’m in the middle of some desert, stuck with this ghastly-looking man, wearing a lame as hell mask.”  
  
Takanori has to hold himself back from throwing Yuu out of the goddamn car.  
  
“Do you do nothing but whine the entire day?” Takanori rolls his eyes, asking. _God_ , he’s never met anyone more self-entitled than Shiroyama Yuu, and he’s starting to rethink everything he once thought about the drop-dead gorgeous raven-haired. Just being with Yuu alone on this mission is already elevating his chances of getting killed by fifty percent, Takanori’s sure of it.  
  
“I just think you’re being incredibly unreasonable,” Yuu points out, broaching another subject, and Takanori comes to the realisation that Yuu does _nothing_ but talk all day. Takanori understands if Yuu has missed human interaction, and he understands if Yuu is currently frightened, frightened of all that is happening around him, frightened of the man he has to trust to keep his life; and perhaps Yuu is so frightened that he has to _talk_ to take his mind off those thoughts – but Takanori’s reaching his limit, and he can’t keep indulging Yuu in these nonsensical conversations. Perhaps Kouyou used to do so for Yuu, but Takanori’s _not_ Yuu’s lover, much less his friend, and he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve having to babysit someone like this.  
  
“I’ve been held captive for two days, and the first person I see after my blindfolds are taken off is… this… this _thing_ ,” Yuu gestures wildly to Takanori. “Whatever you are. You’re terrifying to look at… Of course I’d be scared. Why are your eyes so black? And why do you keep wearing that mask? How do you even breathe with that thing on? You look like a comic book supervillain.”  
  
Takanori laughs through his nose, finding humour strangely in all that Yuu has to say. He’s glad to hear that he’s monstrous to look at, even if it’s a perspective that’s from a person like Yuu, and Takanori guesses that he really can’t fault Yuu for being wary of him. Takanori has assumed a disguise like this for a reason, after all. If it didn’t work, there would be no point to it.  
  
He’d been brunet just a few days ago, before Kouyou found him, and his black roots had been horridly grown out. After he got Kouyou’s assignment, Takanori thought he’d opt to leave the black roots alone, and instead bleach the ends of hair blond, giving him a classier, toned down look that he thought would match the nature of his mission. He still wears the black mask, of course, the one that covers the bottom half of his face, and he adores shading his eyes with black eye shadow, liking the menacing look it gives him when he dons such make-up. He can’t fault Yuu for being scared of him – Takanori looks like a war criminal. He doesn’t look like someone that belongs anywhere, no gang, no place in society, nothing. Takanori belongs to the shadows, just as he always has.  
  
“Are you human?” Yuu finally summons the courage to ask, eyes peering doubtfully over to Takanori.  
  
Takanori breaks into a silent smile, a genuine one, hidden behind his mask. It’s a serious question, however the manner in which Yuu asks it holds such strong innocence and naivety that it’s almost… _cute_. Takanori may treat Yuu like he’s eight, but it’s only because Yuu acts so childish, so immature. And perhaps it may not be a bad thing. It makes for a good laugh, at times.  
  
“What if I told you half my face was heavily burnt off due to radiation?” Takanori answers, his eyes narrowing to Yuu in a sombre expression. Yuu’s eyes widen in amazement at the piece of information, and Takanori has to control himself from guffawing. Yuu _believes_ him. It’s the first time in a long while that Takanori feels such a tickle in his chest, bubbling up into more laughter.  
  
“You’re _really_ a superhuman,” Yuu says in awe. Takanori has no doubt that Yuu’s fond of Marvel movies. “Is that why Kouyou chose you to save me?”  
  
Takanori may be heartless – still, he doesn’t see a point in leading an innocent party on. He does have his own limits, and he doesn’t see the need to lie. “I’m human,” Takanori clears up. “And my face isn’t burnt off. I wear masks because I have to protect my identity, if it isn’t obvious enough. I kill people for a living.”  
  
Yuu’s sorely disappointed by his confession. “You lied to me?”  
  
“You needed the distraction,” Takanori says, uncharacteristically gentle for a moment.  
  
And Yuu tries to refute that, but he realises he has since stopped crying, and thinking about the sorry plight he’s in. Takanori’s right. Yuu had needed the distraction to feel sane again. Yuu doesn’t feel that Takanori deserves a _thank you_ , though. Not yet.  
  
“What’s your name?” Yuu asks. They’ve been together for three hours tops, and Yuu still doesn’t know how to address the masked stranger that has saved him. Twice. “Or is that a stupid question to ask, since you’re so secretive and all? Mister assassin?”  
  
Takanori glances to him in the rear view mirror. “Ruki.”  
  
Yuu squints to him. “That’s a fake name, right?”  
  
“That’s not important.”  
  
The raven-haired slumps back against his seat, folding his arms together. He’s starting to take a hint from Takanori’s cold, one-sentence replies. “You don’t like to talk.”  
  
“Correction,” Takanori interrupts. “You like to talk too much.”  
  
“You don’t like to talk to _me_ ,” Yuu continues, bemoaning.  
  
“That’s correct,” Takanori agrees, and Yuu sends him a dirty look for that. He breaks the silence with another question, much to Takanori’s dismay.  
  
“Where are we going?”  
  
“Trying to find a motel to stay for the night. If you’ve always wanted to go on a road trip, you’re in for a ride.”  
  
“I’ve never wanted to go on a road trip,” Yuu clarifies. “And motels are incredibly dirty. And the sheets, I hear, are always semen-stained.”  
  
“Then I guess you have no choice but to _suck it up_ ,” Takanori snorts out as a reply. Yuu makes an indignant, growling sound under his breath.  
  
“You’re incredibly rude. If Kouyou ever catches you – or anyone else – speaking to me like this, I don’t dare to imagine what he’ll do to you.”  
  
“Well, Kouyou’s not here, is he?” Takanori answers sarcastically, and it’s a statement that causes the raven-haired’s heart to swell up painfully deep within his chest.  
  
Yuu stops speaking after that, and Takanori makes sure to check the rear view mirror every fifteen minutes to ensure that Yuu’s not crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god I made Yuu so spoilt..................I love it. XD
> 
> don't worry, he gets better.
> 
> comments are so loved!!! <3


	3. Chapter 3

They stop at the third motel that they pass by, since Takanori can’t afford to take any chances with anyone discovering them. Even if the triad members have since stopped following them, Takanori can’t be too sure. He abandons the car a far distance from the motel they’ve decided to stay at, and makes note of the other cars in the vicinity, trying to find a suitable looking one for tomorrow morning’s usage. Takanori’s used to picking car locks and stealing them, mandatory as part of his job. All he has to worry about now is keeping Yuu from wandering off, away from him, since Yuu’s the vital part of his job.  
   
They check into a room at the motel, grabbing some takeaway from a family restaurant nearby for their dinner. There’s no way that Takanori’s willing to risk being seen in public around these parts just yet. It’s a deserted part of the country – and a legit _desert_ at that, used more often for military purposes and illegal gang activities– and people are scarce here. Takanori locks the motel doors behind him, having no plans to leave the room until they need to set off again next sunrise. Yuu takes a seat against the double-sized bed, finding it far cleaner than he’d expected, and falls flat against his back, basking in the soft sheets happily. The mattress is hard, and the bed must be a decade old, but it’s a nice change from the cold floor that Yuu was made to sit on for the past two days or so. Yuu’s smiling, grateful to be lying on a bed again, grateful to have his fingers intact and still be alive.  
   
Takanori finds himself enjoying the sight, though he eventually pulls his eyes away from the raven, feeling as if he’s intruding.  
   
“I have a couple of clean clothes for you to change into,” Takanori clears his throat, saying, reaching for his duffel bag and unzipping it open. “Thought they’d come in handy just in case we met a situation like this.”  
   
“I finally get my bath,” Yuu’s eyes light up at the thought, and he’s sitting up onto the bed, eagerly awaiting for Takanori to pass him clean clothes.  
   
Takanori stands before the raven and hands over the garments, his eyes falling over Yuu’s current dirt-soiled shirt and pants. Takanori’s hands then run down Yuu’s arms, checking for any gashes or wounds, and he’s pleased to only find few abrasions, ones that must have been caused from the rough manhandling of Yuu’s body.  
   
“What are you doing?” Yuu pulls a face, as Takanori’s hands move up his neck and pull Yuu’s long hair back, away from his face. Takanori swallows hard as he cups Yuu’s hair by the fistful, feeling the soft texture of the silky strands within his fingertips. Yuu’s eyes blink towards him, though he doesn’t pull away, and Takanori can’t help but admire how naturally stunning the raven-haired is. Takanori still can’t understand what Kouyou sees in Yuu, but perhaps if you place a duct tape over Yuu’s mouth to prevent him from whining and chattering on and on _and on_ , Yuu doesn’t make so bad a lover.  
   
“Why are you inspecting me?”  
   
“I’m trying to see if you’re hurt,” Takanori says, and then his hands fall away from Yuu’s hair, satisfied with what he has seen. Yuu hasn’t suffered any grave injuries, and the little marks and scratches on Yuu’s skin will heal. Which means Takanori’s high payout from Kouyou is secured, and he’d like to keep it this way.  
   
“Why are you caring for me?” Yuu asks, and Takanori almost flips at the insinuation.  
   
“Listen here, Shiroyama,” Takanori snaps, frustrated by Yuu’s endless questions. “I’m here to keep you alive, and bring you back to your fiancé. Me trying to save your life and making sure you aren’t hurt does not mean I am…” the blond spits the word out carelessly. “… _caring_ for you. Because I’m not. The only reason I’m here is because – one, your fiancé’s rich as hell, and he has promised me a good sum of money. And two, I’m good at what I do, I’m sadistic, and I like murdering people who deserve it. Please don’t mistake any of my actions for _caring_ , because I have better things to do with my life.”  
   
Yuu glares right up to him. “I wasn’t trying to imply anything.”  
   
“Then go get that bath you keep whining about,” Takanori counters.  
   
“Sensitive prick,” Yuu mutters angrily, gripping the clean clothes tightly in hand, and disappearing quickly behind the bathroom doors.  
   
Takanori frowns, and reaches for the duffel bag, digging in for its contents. He ends up pulling out the envelope that Kouyou passed on to him, the one containing Yuu’s personal data as well as numerous photos of him, all of which show Yuu with a bright smile on his face. Takanori suddenly realises that Yuu hasn’t smiled even once ever since he’s been rescued, and the blond wonders if there’s anything wrong with that.  
   
~  
   
“Ruki?”  
   
Takanori turns to the direction of the bathroom right away at Yuu’s call, and it’s with a strange sensation inside of his chest that he digests the sounds of the first time Yuu’s calling him by name. Despite it not being his real name, not many people know his alias is _Ruki_ , either, and the only person that actively calls him as such is Akira. Oddly enough, Takanori feels closer to the identification of _Ruki,_ as compared to his real Takanori. Perhaps it’s because _Ruki_ is the name that people associate with the _Shadow Killer_ , and perhaps _Ruki_ is the mask he puts on whenever he’s out on dangerous assignments like these. Takanori has always felt more _Ruki_ than he ever felt Takanori.  
   
“I think the tap’s faulty,” Yuu informs, stepping out from the bathroom a second later. He has a long towel around his neck, and he’s using it to squeeze his long raven hair dry, having just finished his shower. “The water’s permanently cold. I thought I’d warn you first before you went in.”  
   
Takanori’s more surprised to see that Yuu’s anger has melted off, and that he isn’t cursing the blond under his breath anymore. It seems like Yuu _does_ have redeeming qualities, despite being a perfectly qualified princess. The clothes that Takanori had chosen for Yuu fits Yuu perfectly, too. He had bought clothes according to the measurements listed in the information Kouyou gave him, and Takanori’s glad they fit the raven well. Yuu has a… _notable_ figure, Takanori thinks, eyes roaming up Yuu’s body. The man’s naturally slender, and now that Yuu’s cleaned up and decked out in a plain white top and dark tight jeans, Takanori can see his appeal much more than ever. The plain white top is slightly larger on Yuu than it should be, especially with the low crew neck it has; and with each move Yuu makes, the raven’s prominent collar bones are plainly visible as the top slips further and further down his shoulders.  
   
Takanori shifts in his seat by the window, trying to look unperturbed by the sight before him. He’s a trained assassin, not the usual hot and bothered average man on the street. He’s slowly becoming irked by how hard it’s getting to take his eyes off the raven-haired.  
   
“Cold water doesn’t bother me,” is all Takanori says, with a light sniff.  
   
“Not even a _thank you_?” Yuu huffs, and he takes a seat by the corner of the bed.  
   
“I saved your life,” Takanori reminds, and then mimics Yuu’s voice in an awful, nasal-sounding tone. “ _Not even a thank you_?”  
   
Yuu gapes at his audacity, and shuts his mouth close soon after. The man he knew to be Ruki was right. Yuu hasn’t thanked him even once for risking his life to get Yuu out of that hellhole, and he expects this stranger to thank him for something as silly as a faulty tap. The room goes completely quiet except for the sounds of the twirling fan on the ceiling. Then Yuu parts his lips to speak again.  
   
“Thank you,” Yuu says quietly, averting his eyes away from Takanori’s direction, and Takanori can tell it’s taking a lot from the raven to able to utter such words. Yuu mustn’t be used to thanking people of Takanori’s kind. Hell, Yuu mustn’t be used to thanking people in general, at all.  
   
“You’re welcome,” Takanori replies, and the room, yet again, is overtaken by silence. Takanori has been with Yuu long enough to know that the raven-haired doesn’t like silence, and some of that must be rubbing off onto Takanori, because he’s beginning to feel uncomfortable whenever Yuu doesn’t speak. It feels as if something is wrong, as if Yuu’s not himself – even if the very thought is laughable. Takanori barely knows Shiroyama Yuu, barely knows his personality, barely knows the person he is. All he knows about the raven is information that Yuu’s fiancé has provided Takanori.  
   
Right. Kouyou. Yuu’s been talking about him all these while, hasn’t he? Maybe that’s one thing that will cheer Yuu up after such a long, hard day.  
   
Takanori reaches for the envelope he’d tossed onto the coffee table, and pulls out a couple of photos. They’re ones that have Kouyou pictured in them, either holding Yuu close to him, hugging him or kissing him in one way or another. They’re an intimate couple, Takanori can tell from their body language in these pictures, and Takanori thinks that if he has someone like Yuu as his lover, he would be intimate with him every second of every day, too. Who could resist someone like the raven-haired? But that’s never going to happen, because Takanori hasn’t had any interest in anyone his entire life, and he’s pretty certain that his lack of attraction to anyone will continue for the rest of his life.  
   
Takanori passes the photos in his grasp to Yuu, nudging the stack of pictures quietly to the raven across the bed as if he were a bear gifting scraps of food to his baby cub. It must look laughable for any third party to witness this scene, because Takanori still his make-up on, still has his mask on, and is definitely looking the more intimidating one out of the two (even if, Takanori grudgingly admits, that he is of a slightly smaller stature than Yuu). Yuu, on the other hand, is looking fresh and pristine, his face and body now scrubbed clean of all the filth he’d accumulated over his whole ordeal.  
   
Yuu’s the one cocking an eyebrow up this time, amused by Takanori’s little gift to him.  
   
“They’re pictures of you and your lover,” Takanori explains, just as Yuu bends over to pick the photos up from the bed. The change on Yuu’s face is instantaneous. Yuu clenches harder onto the photos in his hold, taking his time to look through every last one. They are personal photos; photos of when Kouyou took him out on dates, photos of Kouyou always looking at him through love-filled eyes, photos that remind Yuu his fiancé is waiting for him back at home, ready to welcome him with open arms.  
   
“Kouyou’s so good to me,” Yuu sighs out, fingers stroking past his lover’s face in the photos. “This was taken on the day he proposed to me. He’d flown me out to Italy just to do so. He’s _so_ thoughtful.”  
   
Takanori doesn’t pay attention to what Yuu says. He’s too busy concentrating on the small smile that has slowly made its way to Yuu’s lips, an action that sends Takanori smiling softly behind his own mask as well.  
   
The smile disappears all at once when Takanori realises what’s happening.  
   
~  
   
Takanori’s reluctant to remove the make-up off his face in front of another person, but he has no choice. He’s not willing to go to bed with eyes full of eye shadow, and so he half-heartedly cleanses the dark pigments off his face in the bathroom’s sink, gritting his teeth when he thinks about getting back out in the room, his eyes bare for Yuu to see. There has only been one other person who has seen his bare face in ten years, and it’s Akira. Akira’s a different case though, because Takanori has known him for so long, and he knows he can trust the man. Yuu, on the contrary, is a stranger – as much as Takanori thinks he knows the raven, already. And Takanori had been hoping this mission would have worked out the way he wanted, with him flying Yuu back to Kouyou as soon as possible, so he could have avoided having to implicate himself in situations such as these. Alas, Takanori has no such luck. He did acknowledge his luck was slowly running out.  
   
Taking off his make-up always makes Takanori feel so… _so_ exposed. So vulnerable, so defenceless to whoever sees him like this. It’s bad enough he has it off, and so Takanori refuses to remove his half-mask, unwilling to let Yuu witness more than Takanori has to reveal. When he leaves the bathroom and strides to the chair located right next to the door, Takanori makes sure to shield his face from view, not wanting Yuu to catch a glimpse of his eyes.  
   
Yuu, who’s already settled into bed and under the covers, is surprised to see Takanori not climbing into bed with him. He turns to look, and suppresses his gasp when he takes notice of Takanori’s now bare face. He’s still wearing his mask, however, which Yuu frowns at. Yuu wonders if it’s purely a disguise at this point, or if it’s a safety net for Takanori, if it’s helping Takanori hide something he doesn’t want Yuu to see.  
   
“Do you really need to wear that mask even when you’re alone with me?” Yuu quips.  
   
“It’s not up for discussion,” Takanori snarls defensively. Yuu knows better than to press on further. He still hardly knows this man, hardly knows this assassin, and even though he’s been kind to Yuu so far, Yuu’s not quite certain if he can fully trust Takanori not to hurt him yet. Takanori, after all, is an assassin, and his movements and touches have been nothing but rough. He’s still dressed and made up frighteningly, and Yuu has reasons to back away from him.  
   
“Alright. Are you sleeping in that chair?” Yuu feels guilt when he sees Takanori nodding his head, evidently knowing he doesn’t have a right to slip into bed with Yuu. It’s understandable – Takanori’s being paid to safeguard Yuu by his fiancé, and it’d be wrong on any end for Takanori to sleep next to Yuu on the same bed.  
   
But it’s been such a long, hard day, and Yuu doesn’t think the chair will be comfortable to sleep in at all. Not when Takanori has wiped out three hundred men just earlier today, and has driven a long way out just to find a motel for the both of them to stay. Yuu surprises himself with his own thoughtfulness – and he blames it all on the trauma he’s had in the past couple of days to cause such a radical, open change.  
   
“I don’t mind if you take this side of the bed,” Yuu gently prods, patting the empty side of the double-sized bed. Shock fills Takanori’s eyes at the gesture. He’d thought Yuu too arrogant to be capable of sharing.  
   
“I thought you were probably used to sleeping in king-sized beds back in your rich, big mansion,” Takanori sneers. Even though he sounds sarcastic, Yuu doesn’t take it to heart, and continues beckoning for Takanori to enter the bed with him. Yuu thinks that it’s been instilled in Takanori’s nature to be as unkind as possible, and strangely enough, Yuu thinks he can get used to it. Takanori’s an assassin at the end of the day, and men of his calibre must be tough inside out. Takanori has saved his life, and Yuu owes him as much. He can take a few snide remarks every now and then.  
   
“You saved my life,” Yuu says quietly, and Takanori can tell he’s sincere. “You deserve to sleep in the bed you’ve paid for us, at least. You’ll ache the next day if you spend the night in that stiff chair of yours.”  
   
Takanori’s hesitant to accept the offer. He hasn’t ever been in an awkward circumstance like this in the ten years he has worked as an assassin, and it’s for a good reason why. Takanori knows Yuu is right, however. His back is already aching, and it’d be nice to have a mattress to lie upon. They still have a long day ahead of them tomorrow, and Takanori foresees much more driving.  
   
He has too big of an ego to give in to Yuu, though.  
   
“I don’t sleep with _princesses_ ,” Takanori flatly states, with cold disdain.  
   
The gentle look on Yuu’s face immediately falls away, and he’s angry again; angry at having his offer rejected, angry that he’d specially gone out of his way to extend such an exclusive invitation to someone as lowly as an assassin to get into the bed with him, angry that he’d allowed himself to let his defences down and thought Takanori deserved some of that compassion of his.  
   
“Suit yourself,” Yuu retorts, scornful. He leans back down against the bed and turns to his side, pulling the covers over him.  
   
Takanori’s eyes narrow into slits. Now Yuu’s just being _petty_. And fuck, Takanori’s back was really starting to ache. He’s not sure if his back is supposed to ache this much at his age. He’s only twenty-seven, and he can’t afford to have a messed up back already at such a young age. Perhaps years of sleeping on flat surfaces have finally caught up on him.  
   
“Fine.” Takanori mumbles, hating to appear weak for going along with Yuu’s suggestion. He’s used to sleeping on cold, hard floors if need be, but for some reason this time there’s something tempting him to take up the raven’s offer, there’s something so appealing and tempting about that bed in front of him. He doesn’t stop to ponder what.  
   
Yuu’s shoulders stiffen when he feels the dipping sensation of the bed. Takanori crawls into bed next to Yuu, making sure to inch his body to the furthest end so as to minimise contact as far as possible. When Takanori’s finally under the covers and all settled in, Yuu reaches over to the table light next to him and flips the light switch off.  
   
“Good night, Ruki.”  
   
Huh. Yuu’s even bothering with a greeting. Takanori simply makes a low, threatening growl, one that Yuu takes as Takanori’s version of _good night_.  
   
~  
   
Takanori wakes up the next morning alone in the motel bed.  
   
His guard defences go up when he hears the air is absent of Yuu’s distinctive soft breathing, and his first instinct is to reach for the gun he has hidden under his pillow, afraid that whoever infiltrated the place is still lingering around. His heart begins palpitating hard when he turns and sees that Yuu’s side of the bed is empty, even if the bed sheets look to be freshly creased, and the duvets are messily thrown and pushed aside into a pile. If Yuu had been taken, it mustn’t have been too long before this. If Takanori hurries out the door, perhaps he can catch the men who have taken Yuu, and kill them before anyone notices.  
   
Takanori curses to himself when he thinks about how their location has been discovered so easily, and chides himself for not choosing a further motel, or even taking more drastic pre-emptive measures to ensure Yuu’s safety around him. Takanori’s a light sleeper and he’s usually more alert and viligant for noises, especially ones that occur in the middle of the night when he’s at his most vulnerable, but this time Takanori must have been too exhausted the night before to notice anything. And if anything were to happen to Yuu, Takanori knows the blame will fall all on him. Takanori should have been more attentive, he should have made sure Yuu slept close to him, he should have remained awake throughout the night to secure the premises and ensure no one got into their motel room.  
   
As much as he only cares for Yuu’s payout, and as much as he thinks that Yuu is an utter nuisance around him, that Yuu is an exasperating force that will only make things harder for him around here somehow; Takanori is still responsible for Yuu’s well-being, and from what he has seen from the raven-haired so far, Yuu has been mostly frightened from all that’s happened to him. Yuu’s still in shock, still very much homesick, and if given the choice, Takanori knows that Yuu wouldn’t choose to remain with Takanori, he wouldn’t choose to trust such an assassin that’s only here to save him because of a hefty payout. Yuu has only _just_ gotten rescued from the clutches of the men who had taken him, and he’d even talked about how horrible they had treated him while he was there.  
   
And because of Takanori’s negligence, he has allowed those same men to take Yuu back again, to bring him back to square one. Takanori can’t stop thinking about how Yuu’s mood had gradually changed for the better towards the end of the night yesterday, and the efforts it had taken him to be able to do so. Takanori’s heart squeezes at the memory of Yuu’s soft smile, knowing the raven must have been so relieved to finally get away from his captors, and be on his way back to his fiancé. The rare smile Takanori had been lucky enough to witness is probably gone now. Takanori doesn’t know how to feel about that.  
   
Takanori sits up on the bed, gathering his guns and supplies that he knows he’ll need to get Yuu back. He’s in the midst of packing up his duffel bag, when the door creaks open, and a familiar raven-haired slips in through the doors, still donning the same white shirt and tight jeans Takanori passed to him yesterday, his hands full of bags.  
   
Takanori lifts his head and comes into sight with the same beautiful eyes he has unconsciously memorised since seeing Yuu for the first time yesterday, and his heartbeat immediately races. His heart must have done a thousand grateful leaps, thankful that Yuu’s alive, un-harmed, and still standing here before him – before Takanori notices the bags Yuu’s holding, and frowns deeply behind his mask. When the initial relief passes over him, Takanori’s back to his hostile ways. He’s enraged, when he thinks about how Yuu left the motel room without informing him, and causing him to worry over something that didn’t even happen in the first place.  
   
“Where were you?” Takanori interrogates, raising his voice. The happy glow on Yuu’s face instantly fades away when he hears the tone Takanori is using with him, and he kicks the door close behind him, dropping his bags casually onto the coffee table near the door.  
   
“Answer me,” Takanori continues speaking, when all Yuu does is glower up to him with a defiant look in his eyes, not liking the way Takanori was talking down to him. “Answer me, Shiroyama! Where did you go, and why did you not tell me before you leave?”  
   
Takanori doesn’t even realise his hands have long curled into fists by his side, shaking with the intensity of his frustration. Yuu has no goddamn clue how _wanted_ he is around here at all. Yuu could have been killed anytime he was out there alone, and yet he’s still acting so happy-go-lucky, so oblivious to how _precious_ he is.  
   
“You need to relax,” Yuu answers, tired of how aggressive Takanori is all the time. “I found some money in your bag, so I just went the nearby convenience store to get us some breakfast. You said we’d be going on a road trip, so I thought I’d get us some spare food, too.”  
   
“And you didn’t think to wake me up before you left?” Takanori bellows, and Yuu shrinks further with every word. Takanori only then sees the unease in his eyes, and realises Takanori must be crossing a line.  
   
“You’re acting like Kouyou when he’s mad at me,” Yuu turns away, looking upset. It tugs at Takanori’s heart, and makes him question why Yuu looks so pained by all the yelling, and if Kouyou does this regularly to him. But Kouyou can’t, right? Kouyou loves Yuu so much, and he has expressed nothing but love for the raven. Yuu seems to depend on Kouyou so much, and Takanori can’t believe Kouyou even has his moments where he snaps at the raven, too. “I’m sorry I left without telling you. But you’ve already done so much for me, and I just wanted to let you sleep a little longer.”  
   
Yuu’s thoughtfulness subdues Takanori’s anger a bit, and he attempts to contain his wrath with his next response.  
   
“I thought you had been taken, Shiroyama.”  
   
“But I haven’t,” Yuu says, hurt evident in his voice. There’s hurt in his eyes, too, when he raises them and looks to Takanori in a piercing stare. Takanori suddenly feels as if he has made a huge mistake being mad at Yuu like _that_ , even if he knows he is well in his right to. What kind of effect does Yuu have on him? Takanori doesn’t know, but it’s already scaring him. He’s new to feeling remorse for his harsh ways. Takanori’s not used to feeling kindness for the people around him, especially not people like Yuu.  
   
“I wasn’t taken by anyone. I’m safe, and I’m here. And I made sure not to get spotted, don’t worry about that. The only other people in the convenience store when I went in was an old grandmother and her child. Can we go now? It’s time to leave this place.”  
   
Takanori slowly unclenches his fists, and drastically lowers the decibel of his tone. “What about breakfast?” He’s not used to eating breakfast – never has, never will – but Yuu seems to be the type to consume three meals daily, and he doesn’t want to disrupt such a pattern of his. Takanori surprises himself with that thought just as it goes through his mind. He’s beginning to care for Yuu’s needs, even if they might inconvenience his.  
   
“It’s fine. I don’t have an appetite anymore. I’ll eat later in the car if I’m hungry,” Yuu says, glancing down resentfully to the bags he has in hand. “Get your things ready. I’ll follow you out once you’re done.”  
   
Takanori’s eyes remain on Yuu for a second longer than he should, wondering if he’d accidentally pissed the raven off. Takanori has his reasons for getting mad, and he needs Yuu to understand why.  
   
“You’re not allowed to leave my presence without telling me where you’re going,” Takanori states. “And I’m saying this for your own good. I can’t risk you being taken by those men again. I need to make sure I know where you always are, and I need to know you’re always safe around me.”  
   
Yuu snorts loudly in reply. “Says the man with the creepy mask. And what if I don’t feel very safe around you? What are you going to do about that?” The raven-haired man settles back down into a chair, crossing his arms as he leans back. His expression is now haughty, and he sticks his nose up in the air as he talks up to Takanori.  
   
Takanori grits his teeth. The raven-haired princess certainly likes to test his patience.  
   
“My assignment is _you_ ,” Takanori hisses, taking a step forward in a bid to intimidate the raven. Yuu turns his head to the side, avoiding his eyes. “You don’t get it, do you? I’m here to save your life. And I can’t do that if you’re constantly disappearing without telling me even a single word.”  
   
“You know, Ruki,” Yuu already sounds sour. “A simple _please_ and _sorry_ can take you places. Like a, ‘ _please let me know where you’re going next time_ ’, and a, ‘ _sorry I got mad at you unnecessarily because I’m such a natural born sensitive asshole’_.”  
   
Takanori rolls his eyes up to the ceiling. “You’re really big on manners, aren’t you, princess?”  
   
…And _that’s_ the first time he voices his nickname for the raven out loud. Takanori regrets his choice of words the very moment they leave him, and he knows he has fucked up by revealing what he truly calls Yuu inside his head. Because it can be taken both ways – it can be seen as condescending, and yet it can be seen as a form of affection instead. What scares Takanori is that he’s not entirely sure how Yuu will take it, and _if_ he will take it the latter way. What also scares Takanori is that he actually gives a _fuck_ about how Yuu will take it. Because under other circumstances, Takanori wouldn’t care, wouldn’t give a flying fuck if Yuu hates him for what ever batshit name Takanori calls him.  
   
And if Yuu takes this as a form of affection from Takanori, Takanori doesn’t know how he’ll live with himself. He hates being on the losing end, he hates allowing others to know he’s concerned over them – even for the slightest bit. The only person he has allowed himself to be vaguely worried about is Akira, and even then, Takanori doesn’t voice his feelings much to the man. Akira doesn’t mind, and Akira understands. Takanori has always had a rather peculiar friendship with Akira that he’s fond of, and it’s a friendship that makes Takanori feel at ease, and secure, and relaxed.  
   
Yuu, on the contrary, is a spoilt princess that hardly deserves his attention, and Takanori hates himself for _even_ moderately concerned for him. He dismisses it as concern over his payout – not the actual human being. But even as he convinces himself that, Takanori’s still here, unmoving and scared to death, not knowing how Yuu will take this little nickname of his.  
   
Yuu remains equally still, too stunned to speak. And when he _does_ reply, it’s with a pleasant smile on his face. It perplexes Takanori, but Yuu’s angelic smiles are always infectious, and the blond ends up deciding that it’s not too bad an exchange for Takanori’s pride.  
   
“I like the sound of _princess._ It’s better than _Shiroyama_ ,” Yuu breaks the ice with a gentle laugh, his eyes crinkling up in a pretty kind of joy. Takanori can’t help but return the smile, even if Yuu can’t see it with his mask over.  
   
Then Takanori realises he’s having some sort of a moment with Yuu – something that has been happening more of late, much more than Takanori would like – and something in him reminds him to cringe.  
   
“I’ll be done in a minute,” Takanori says quickly, visibly uncomfortable with the smile on his face. “Let me just wash up for a bit.”  
   
“Need me to help you put your make-up on?” Yuu teases, and Takanori’s eyes slant towards him, even if there’s only one word echoing in his head.  
   
 _Cute_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I disappeared for awhile :( been busy, lack of motivation, etcetcetc. but this is for my girls jeska and izu who have been pestering me ENDLESSLY for this aoiki.
> 
> I'll try to update soon. I appreciate all comments as usual. <3


	4. Chapter 4

“So, where are we going?” Yuu asks from the back, just as Takanori gets into the driver’s seat and slams the door shut. He has found a new car to hijack now, one that’s finally not reeking of a pungent smell, or have soiled seats, or has dust lining every edge of the car. This one’s much cleaner, smells much better, and even has air-conditioning, which Takanori thinks will come in handy in the kind of place they’re in. Takanori isn’t going to lie – he has noticed that Yuu is a little used to cleanliness, and has hygiene standards that the raven would probably like to keep to.  
   
Takanori had chosen this new car based on how spotless it looks, keeping Yuu’s needs in mind. He’s always kept in view of the fact that Yuu’s used to chauffeurs and people waiting on him, and he needs to accommodate Yuu’s needs as far as possible so he doesn’t upset the raven. He doesn’t even know why he’s caring so much about what Yuu likes or doesn’t like, but Takanori tells himself that if he doesn’t do so, then it will distress Yuu, and if Takanori wants to milk as much money as he can out of this raven, he needs Yuu to like him enough so as to put in a good word for him once they’re back home with Kouyou.  
   
Funnily enough, Yuu hasn’t complained of the heat around here, but maybe he’s just too grateful to be alive and free from his captors to even notice his discomfort. Now that Yuu has had a clean shower and changed out into new clothes, the raven-haired must be ten times more comfortable, and Takanori is relieved he had the foresight to pack for clothes just in case. As Takanori starts up the car – as well as the sweet, godly air-conditioning at the same time – he looks up into the rear view mirror, and sees Yuu leaning back against his seat with a blissful smile on his face, enjoying the cool breeze that airs right up his neck. Yuu brings his fingers up to his long hair, grabs it in a handful and twists it high up into a bun, allowing more cool air to surround his face.  
   
“It’s a new change from the limousines back at home, I bet,” Takanori casually says, beginning his drive. They’re soon back on the empty roads, surrounded by nothing but the scorching sand. Yuu hums happily in his seat, keeping his eyes closed as he enjoys the cold.  
   
“You know, I thought I’d be complaining about all of _these_ , but I’m not,” Yuu comments, sounding content enough. “It’s odd. I think that’s what being through days of torture does to you. You just get an entire new perspective of the world.”  
   
Takanori laughs wryly. Yuu’s _way_ too fond of exaggeration. “Cut the crap. You were there for slightly under forty-eight hours, and they barely touched you. You should consider yourself lucky. They locked you up and put you in chains, so what? I’ve been put in chains far more times than I can count.”  
   
Yuu lets that mental image – of Takanori in chains – linger in his head for a little longer than it should. “Well, it was awful. No baths, little water, and porridge that tastes like baby food. I thought I was going to die there. They came in every once in a while to laugh at me, and call me things like Takashima’s whore. I’ve never been so degraded.”  
   
This time, Takanori doesn’t feel the need to retort a smart remark to Yuu like he usually does. There’s something different about the way Yuu narrates his experience, and Takanori frowns at how disheartened Yuu sounds as he does so. Maybe Takanori’s been wrong to laugh at Yuu, because despite being through worse, Yuu’s experience is his own, and the raven isn’t used to being treated so disrespectfully in his everyday life. Yuu’s who he is because of his upbringing and background, and he takes experiences differently from Takanori. And Yuu’s not weak because of that. Yuu has just been lucky his whole life, and now because of his status in society, his life is threatened by it.  
   
Ha. Takanori has started justifying Yuu’s actions for the raven himself. Takanori’s not even sure why.  
   
“Triads like them are usually more ruthless,” Takanori comments. “I’m surprised they didn’t do more to you.” _Especially when you’re so attractive_ , he wants to add, though he knows better than to.  
   
“They were going to do something to me, soon,” Yuu says hurriedly, all light diminishing from his face as he recounts the unwanted memories in his head. “I could hear it. Outside the door. They were always talking about what to do with me. They just didn’t decide on what yet. And it scared me. They played around with the idea of removing my fingers and sending them to Kouyou, and I think I’ve never been more terrified in my life. I didn’t think Kouyou was going to save me in time. I didn’t want to die alone. I think that’s always been my biggest fear… Dying in such a way.”  
   
Takanori’s hands unconsciously tighten against the steering wheel.  
   
“You know… you think a lot about dying for someone who usually doesn’t need to.”  
   
Yuu shuts his eyes wide open. “Don’t you ever think about dying? Or the way you want it all to go down?”  
   
Takanori answers without so much as a pause. “No.” Takanori doesn’t think about dying at all, because if he does, then he won’t be able to get his job done right. He can’t think about the possibility of losing his life, because every wrong move he makes during a mission could cost him his entire assignment. And Takanori knows if it’s his time, then it’s his time. He doesn’t want to waste any more time or thought on possibly dying during the day, particularly if his very profession is to keep himself alive so he can administer death.  
   
And right now, he has one more life to safeguard. One right next to him.  
   
“I’m sure you don’t want to die alone, too,” Yuu says, as a matter-of-factly. “As terrifying as you try to make yourself out to be. Everyone wants to know that someone will mourn them after their death.”  
   
Takanori inhales in sharply, keeping his eyes focused on the road. Yuu’s making his brain go to places that he doesn’t want it to, and it’s bad. It’s never been this bad. Takanori usually keeps himself occupied enough with his assignments to forget contemplating things like these. The scary part is that Takanori’s beginning to re-evaluate himself with every new thought Yuu puts into his head, and Takanori has never been uncertain of the things he does in his life. He’s always been so… sure.  
   
He’s been so sure that he doesn’t fit in like the others, and he’s been so sure that he’s far better remaining in the shadows, far out of sight, removed from society. Takanori has long resigned to the life of an assassin, acknowledging that attachments do more harm than good, and prioritising his career over anything else he wants in life. But what _exactly_ does Takanori want in life? He has always thought that he liked the power he got from doing what he did, and he has always thought his job was the only thing that fuelled motivation and drive inside of him.  
   
 _But what if Yuu’s right?_     
   
“Shiroyama,” is all Takanori can bring himself to answer. “I’ve forgotten how talkative you can be.”  
   
Yuu grins cheekily. “Why are we back to Shiroyama? I rather liked the _princess_ you opted for, earlier.”  
   
“Don’t test me,” Takanori cautions.  
   
“You’re so uptight,” Yuu groans. “I get that it comes with the whole package of being a super cool assassin, but it’s really starting to wear me down a bit.”  
   
“In case you haven’t realised, I’m being paid to keep you alive, not be your playmate.” Takanori can’t imagine how the people around Yuu must have dealt with him back at home. Yuu’s so used to getting his way and doing as he pleases, and it must be a _serious_ pain in the ass to be friends with him. If Takanori was his lover – well, Takanori isn’t, but _hypothetically_ if he was – Takanori would be so exhausted to keep up with the raven-haired day after day. Takanori doesn’t know Kouyou does it. Takanori doesn’t even know why Kouyou has chosen to spend the rest of his life with him.  
   
“Kouyou forgot to mention that entertaining me is all part of the package,” Yuu sings back.  
   
Takanori doesn’t understand how Yuu can remain so positive, so cheerful, despite being on the run from a triad that’s hell bent on re-capturing him for blackmail.  
   
Or perhaps this is the appeal that Kouyou sees.  
   
~  
   
They stop at the first gas station that they see, since Takanori can’t take any chances on running out of gas until they reach their destination. He has informed Yuu that they’re headed for the ship harbour, since flying is too much of a risk for them right now. Takanori has enough money from Kouyou, and he’s confident that he can get them a spot on a ship easily. It’ll take them slightly longer to get home than if they fly, but it’ll only take a week, tops. And right now, his utmost concern is keeping them from being murdered or shot. Takanori estimates three days or four till they reach for the harbour, so he’s hoping there will be another few motels down the road for them to stay in for the night.  
   
After ensuring his car tank has been pumped full of gas, Takanori drives the car to the side of the road, deciding to let them both take a short break. Yuu hasn’t eaten at all since they left their earlier motel, and Takanori’s beginning to silently fret over it. They’ve already approached midday, and even though Takanori’s used to not eating proper meals, Yuu isn’t.  
   
“You should eat,” Takanori says, and he reaches for the bags Yuu has left in the seat next to him. “You should be hungry now.” Takanori pulls out a bun or two from within, tossing it over into Yuu’s hands.  
   
“What about you?” Yuu asks, watching as Takanori leaves the bags alone.  
   
“I’m not hungry,” Takanori answers. Yuu doesn’t believe him. Takanori hadn’t eaten in front of Yuu last night either, and had taken the opportunity during Yuu’s shower time to consume his dinner. Takanori obviously doesn’t want Yuu to see his face, and even though it’s a matter that Yuu knows is not his business to pursue, he doesn’t want to compromise Takanori’s meals just because of his presence.  
   
“I won’t look, if that’s what you’re afraid of,” Yuu sighs, disappointed in the low level of trust Takanori has in him. “You can take your mask off in front of me.”  
   
Takanori doesn’t budge an inch. “Just eat.”  
   
There’s an indignant look on Yuu’s face, and his fingers simply crinkle the plastic wrapper of the bun he’s holding, his eyes glancing down to the bun infuriatingly.  
   
“I’m not eating until you do,” Yuu says grumpily, unwilling to give in to Takanori’s demands.  
   
Oh, for _god’s sake_. This must be the stubborn side of Yuu that Takanori has been waiting to surface all these while. He’d known Yuu was the type that wouldn’t relent until he got his way. And what was with Yuu’s insistence on getting Takanori to eat, anyway? Yuu shouldn’t even be _caring_.  
   
“Why are you such a pain in the ass?” Takanori asks, a disapproving look in his eyes. “It’s two in the afternoon and you haven’t eaten anything all day. You’re going to faint.”  
   
“So are you,” Yuu interjects.  
   
Takanori glares to him strongly beneath his mask. Then a sudden thought strucks him, and it immediately explains everything; explains why Yuu’s acting so strange, explains why Yuu has to feign caring for Takanori to get him to eat. Yuu just needs Takanori’s help, and he doesn’t dare ask for it, afraid of being labelled a princess once more.  
   
Takanori lets loose a tired sigh, then holds a hand out for the bun.  
   
“You can’t open it, can you.”  
   
“What.” Yuu huffs, miffed. He’s confused by the sudden accusation.  
   
“The wrapper.” Takanori snatches back the bun from Yuu’s grasp and quickly tears the plastic wrapper open, revealing the bread in its naked entirety. “Jesus Christ. Do you ever do anything on your own back at home? You’re not really royalty, you know.”  
   
Yuu frowns up to him, finding the allegation absurd. “I didn’t _say_ I couldn’t open it! You didn’t even give me a chance to try.”  
   
Takanori looks to him with a straight, deadpan face. Yuu _really_ doesn’t do things on his own. “Wow, you’re really spoilt.”  
   
“My fiancé’s paying you.”  
   
“Point taken,” Takanori rolls his eyes. He passes the bun back to Yuu, gesturing for him to eat it. “I’m not going to be opening any more plastic wrappers for you, I’m just saying.”  
   
“That wasn’t the point,” Yuu sulks, clutching the bun in hand. He stares rigidly to it, contemplating his next move, then decides to promptly break the bun in half, and hand off half of it over to Takanori. “Eat it.”  
   
He’s resembling so much like a child, sharing half of his food portions with a fellow playmate, that Takanori nearly gives in just for all the adorable points Yuu has earned himself.  
   
Takanori stares at Yuu, bemused. “I’m not hungry.”  
   
“Why are you being such a coward?” Yuu questions. “It’s just a goddamn mask.”  
   
Takanori doesn’t even have time to get offended.  
   
In the next moment, Yuu’s hopping – from where he is currently at, in the back seat – into the front seat next to Takanori, almost hurting himself with the way he leans his body forward and topples himself over. Takanori scrambles to hold him up, taking care not to allow Yuu to bruise himself in the process. _And_ Kouyou wanted Takanori to keep Yuu safe? What a joke. At the rate that Yuu’s going, he’ll hurt himself a whole load more than anyone else can ever hurt him.  
   
“What are you _doing_?” Takanori yelps. Once Yuu has landed right into the front seat next to him, Takanori’s arms are reaching over, holding Yuu’s head back firmly against the seat, pushing the raven’s hair out of his face. The hair strands part way to Yuu’s pair of moonlit eyes; a fire of determination pulsating through those dark orbs. It’s clear to see that when the raven is set on something, he does nothing but attempt to _get_ it. Yuu’s not used to not getting what he wants, and he’s mad that Takanori isn’t doing as he instructs.  
   
“Will you take off your mask for me?” Yuu turns his head to him and orders plainly, and Takanori thinks he’s joking.  
   
Then he realises Yuu’s not.  
   
“No,” Takanori answers affirmatively. Yuu’s defiant expression hardens, and he places his bun down to the side, freeing his hands for what he’s about to do. Takanori can’t believe he doesn’t retaliate, and instead watches on, curious as to what Yuu _thinks_ he’s even attempting. Yuu’s practically becoming a circus act at this point – and Takanori can’t bring himself to stop the raven-haired from doing anything he wants.  
   
Yuu’s hands move over quickly to Takanori’s face, clawing at the blond’s mask, seemingly trying to pull it off. A foreign feeling of _fear_ clouds Takanori’s eyes; he quickly raises his hands up and tries to catch Yuu’s wrists in his, knowing his strength will definitely overpower the raven, and cease his movements. Yuu doesn’t give up, though, and even as Takanori catches his hands in his, Yuu’s still dragging his nails across Takanori’s mask, trying his best to remove the offending material from Takanori’s face.  
   
“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you!” Takanori yells, and he suddenly feels like he’s wrestling with an untamed, stray cat, one that he’d unfortunately picked up from the street and felt enough pity for it to take it in.  
   
“Just take it off! How do you expect me to trust someone who won’t even let me see his _face_!” Yuu yells back, and then he unexpectedly stops resisting, stops fighting against Takanori’s vice grip around him.  
   
And Takanori lets go.  
   
They pant heavily in the silence, their eyes full of animosity as they stare at each other, both equally raging. Takanori hasn’t met someone as immature as Yuu in a long time – if _ever_ – and Takanori isn’t sure why he hasn’t done anything vicious to the raven-haired yet. If it had been anyone else trying to get his mask off – something that is incredibly important and personal to him – Takanori would have incapacitated the person by now, and in worst case scenarios, perhaps even have shot them dead.  
   
And here Yuu was, play-wrestling with Takanori over his mask, and Takanori has not only allowed it, but he’s also _not_ punishing Yuu for it. In a strange, twisted way, Takanori finds Yuu interesting, finds his obsession with getting his mask off interesting, and he wants to know to what extent Yuu is willing to go to just to get what he wants. Because Takanori’s beginning to find that perhaps they share more similarities than he’d thought they would; Takanori stops at nothing to gain what he wants, and Yuu is the same. Only that all that spirit is wasted on someone like Yuu, someone who has been born into an upperclass life, someone who never has to worry about never getting what he wants.  
   
Takanori must have been so deep in thought that he missed that awful glint in Yuu’s silently plotting eyes – because even before he knows it, Yuu has identified all the hooks of his mask in place, and has reached his hands over to pull Takanori’s mask right off, leaving Takanori immediately bare; vulnerable; exposed.  
   
Takanori’s heart is pounding rapidly in his chest as the mask falls to give way to a face that Takanori hasn’t shown to anyone else besides Akira in _years_. The funny thing, is that Takanori hadn’t tried much to stop Yuu from doing it; he had seen it coming, had known that Yuu would catch an opportunity like this to strip Takanori of his disguise, and he hadn’t stopped it, or forced Yuu back into the back seat. He could have tied him up, chained him up, done _something_ to keep Yuu’s hands off him.  
   
But he hadn’t.  
   
Perhaps he’d found it okay, this time. Perhaps some part of him had found it okay to let Yuu witness him like this, perhaps some part of him had thought it wouldn’t be so bad. Takanori begins to regret that impulse of a decision, though, when Yuu’s eyes widen and shimmer with newfound shock.  
   
And the only thing that leaves Yuu’s lips is –  
   
“Wow.”  
   
Takanori feels like a part of him has finally been taken away.  
   
~  
   
“You’re not scarred,” Yuu starts, blinking avidly to the man before him, eyes taking in all of the face features he sees. No, Takanori’s not scarred. Takanori’s _way_ above being scarred. Unlike the nightmarish look Takanori always wants to don, he’s not – truly – that scary looking at all. He’s… surprisingly handsome. And this revelation startles Yuu, because Yuu’s certain that if he’d passed by a man with the likes of Takanori on the streets back at home, he wouldn’t even spare him a second glance. Yuu is used to sophisticated-looking men, he’s used to poshness, he’s used to all the class. Kouyou is exactly the kind of man that Yuu is so used to dating, with all of his gentlemanliness, his attentiveness, his chivalry; Kouyou is completely Yuu’s type.  
   
But there’s something about Takanori that’s reducing Yuu to silence. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t look like the monster Yuu had always envisioned; perhaps it’s because Takanori looks surprisingly _gentle_. And in spite of his seemingly rough face features, his plump lips look soft, and he’s fairer than he lets on, with his shabby clothes covering three quarters of his body most of the time. Takanori’s eyes don’t look so frightening anymore, even if they’re still doused with black eyeshadow, and his brows are furrowed together in plain irritance as usual. Yuu had always thought Takanori’s bleached blond hair – with his strands messily curled, bangs falling over the side of his face – looked oddly good, even if it made Takanori look severely unkempt. But maybe there’s something about Takanori’s _messy_ being that’s bizarrely… attractive.  
   
Yuu can’t bring himself to pull his eyes away.  
   
“No, I’m not scarred, I already told you,” Takanori growls back, but there’s a hint of slight worry in his eyes, and Yuu thinks he knows why it’s there. Takanori’s afraid of what Yuu will think of him now that he’s been exposed, and he definitely must have issues with allowing other people to see him if he wears a mask all the time. Yuu doesn’t want Takanori to feel unsafe around him, no, Yuu doesn’t want Takanori to be afraid of revealing himself to Yuu at all.  
   
“You’re really cute,” Yuu compliments quietly, eyes still hungrily devouring the sight before him. He doesn’t know when he’ll get a similar opportunity again, to see Takanori like this in his entirety, to be able to speak to Takanori without his mask on, and he wants to let Takanori know that he’s not repulsed by the blond’s face – in fact, it’s much rather the opposite. “I don’t know why you’re hiding your face with that awful mask all the time. You’re not ugly. You still look homeless, _yes_ –” Takanori shoots him a dirty look at that. “–but at least you look like an attractive, homeless man.”  
   
Takanori can’t hide his smiles anymore with his mask off, and when the corners of his lips tug slightly up at the corners at Yuu’s honestly uttered words, Yuu’s eyes light up in elation.  
   
“You’re smiling! I thought you never did.”  
   
Takanori doesn’t think Yuu needs to know all the other times he has smiled behind his mask just because of the raven-haired.  
   
“I don’t wear my mask just because of some bullshit like I’m self-conscious of my looks, or something,” Takanori clears up, trying in vain to eradicate the smile off his face. It’s bad enough that he’s allowing Yuu to look at his face – now Yuu knows that he has the power to make Takanori smile, too. He doesn’t know why he’s still not reaching for the mask that’s been thrown to the side, and he doesn’t know why he’s still speaking to Yuu so casually, his heart racing maniacally against his own control. “I don’t really give a damn about that. You forget that I work as an assassin. I have to protect my identity.”  
   
Yuu nods to his words, a big smile on his face. “Okay, mister assassin. Whatever you say.” And Yuu’s so happy, so proud of his own achievement, that he doesn’t really care to argue with Takanori any further, and decides to reach for the bun he has left neglected, handing half a piece over to the blond.  
   
“Eat it,” Yuu demands, offering it happily to Takanori.  
   
Takanori sees no reason to continue being stubborn; not when he suddenly feels he’s stepped into a safe space with the raven, not when he suddenly feels at peace with the raven’s presence. It’s an odd feeling, but Takanori thinks he can get used to this. It’s refreshing, it’s soothing, and… warm. He has never felt it before, not even with Akira, not even during those nights where he’d find himself somehow in Akira’s bed, lying on his back, trying to contain his breath after going for multiple rounds of mindless, emotionless sex. Takanori doesn’t find comfort in things easily, much less people, and yet as he takes half the bun from Yuu’s hands, he forgets for a moment who he is. What he does. That he murders people for a living, that they’re both currently on the run from the mafia, that Yuu belongs to far up higher on the social hierarchy, that Yuu belongs to a man that’s paying Takanori for keeping him safe.  
   
“Eat it, dummy,” Yuu laughs, when he sees Takanori staring to the piece of bread with a nonchalant gaze and a weak smile. The raven reaches for Takanori’s hand and pulls it up, pushing the bun right past Takanori’s lips. Takanori only awakes from his thoughts then and there, and he glares to Yuu right as the bun is stuffed fully into his mouth.  
   
“Don’t look so scary anymore, do you, mister assassin?” Yuu taunts with a soft giggle, raising a finger to tap lightly at Takanori’s nose. Takanori has to hurriedly gulp down the bread down his throat, slightly embarrassed, but not entirely defeated by Yuu’s teasing advances.  
   
“You’re so easily appeased,” Takanori says, finding that Yuu finds joy far too easily in everything. Takanori’s secretly relieved though, seeing Yuu like this, happy again. Takanori knows he doesn’t know Yuu very well, and that his perception of Yuu is constantly changing with every new minute he knows the raven-haired, but Takanori has a feeling that Yuu just has a naturally cheerful character, and that he must have been a constant source of joy back at home for everyone he loved. Yuu craves attention, yes, and he’s evidently whiny and pampered; but Yuu has shown that he’s ready to adapt to changes if need be, and he hasn’t complained at all about the heat in this desert, or the lack of luxurious food, or the absence of a limousine to drive him around. Kouyou had made Yuu out to be an extremely fragile person, especially without all of his daily necessities – but Takanori has a small inkling that Kouyou must have always overly pampered the raven-haired, and assumed Yuu wouldn’t be able to live without being treated as such by Kouyou.  
   
But Yuu’s so much more than that. And it scares Takanori, to think about how quickly his views on Yuu keep changing, to think about the kind of direction it’s going into.  
   
“Don’t wear the mask around me anymore,” Yuu abruptly says with a grin, chewing onto his bun. “It’s an order.”  
   
“Oh, is _it_.” Takanori sends him a side-eye, never having liked to take orders from anyone, not even the men who were – in print – paying him. And what makes Yuu his only exception?  
   
“And if I refuse?”  
   
“No one refuses Shiroyama Yuu,” Yuu scoffs, gulping the last bits of bread down his throat. “Or you’ll suffer consequences.”  
   
“Or what?” Takanori asks with a sore laugh, finding the idea incredulous. “You don’t realise how easily I can overpower you, can you?”  
  
Takanori doesn’t stop to think how particularly flirtatious that piece of statement is.  
   
Yuu’s eyes glimmer up to him at that very threat. “I’d like to see you try.”  
   
And Yuu’s flirting right back.  
   
Takanori breaks into low chuckles, shaking his head at the raven’s dare. Yuu clearly thinks – and knows – that Takanori isn’t going to harm him, and Takanori hates how Yuu is absolutely right. Yuu’s beginning to pick up on how gently Takanori treats him, and he’s using it right to his advantage. Yuu’s definitely intelligent, more so than Takanori gives him credit for, and in a way it scares him.  
   
“The mask on stays on when I’m working,” Takanori decides finally, his tone firm. Yuu watches him with bated breath and wide, anticipatory eyes.  
   
“And?”  
   
“I’ll take it off only if we’re alone,” Takanori grimaces. “What’s the matter with you, anyway? You’re being ridiculous over a harmless mask.”  
   
“ _You’re_ the one being ridiculous,” Yuu teases, and there’s a satisfied smile back on his face as he does so, and it makes Takanori feel that all is right with the world again.  
   
~  
   
When Takanori realises they’ve wasted enough time in the car bickering over things that don’t matter, he urgently begins his drive again, hoping they’ll be able to cover a reasonable amount of distance before finding a nice motel to stay in for the night. Takanori finds that he gets distracted far too easily, gets too caught up in his conversations with Yuu, and it’s nerving him, it’s throwing him off the usual do or die method he takes with his missions. Yuu keeps throwing him off-course, and Takanori worries if this continues, their safety may be seriously threatened. Takanori won’t let that happen, though.  
   
He has enough experience, he has the skills, and he has the weapons. He still has confidence he’ll be able to get Yuu back home as soon as possible, because it appears the men that have been pursuing Yuu have stopped in their chase, even if Takanori can’t be too sure of that yet. He’s hoping that they’ve given up by now though, now that they probably know who they’re dealing up against. Takanori’s reputation precedes him in the underworld, and it’s only in these kind of circumstances that he’s incredibly thankful it does.  
   
Yuu remains seated in the front seat next to him, now confident enough to stay by Takanori’s side. Takanori doesn’t seem to mind, and he hasn’t objected to being in this close of a distance with Yuu, to which Yuu is grateful for. As bold as the raven-haired is usually, he knows that he can go overboard sometimes, and overstep lines that aren’t meant to be crossed. Takanori’s still rather shrouded in mystery to Yuu, but Yuu can tell that he’s lightening up to the raven-haired, and he’s immensely pleased with himself for being able to win Takanori over.  
   
Yuu isn’t used to people treating him in a hostile manner for too long, and Yuu tends to worry if the person in his presence doesn’t appear to warm up to him. Of course, Yuu never has to fret too much about whether the people he meets like him or not. Yuu’s family background has always held him up in higher esteem than the others; and more often than not, people are the ones flocking to him at parties and gatherings, hoping to be able to introduce themselves to Yuu. Even when he’d _just_ met Kouyou for the first time, Yuu never had to try too hard to win Kouyou’s affections over. Kouyou had liked Yuu right off the bat, and so did Yuu for Kouyou, too. It’d been love at first sight, Kouyou always told Yuu. And they were the match made in heaven that were always destined to be.  
   
“You know, I’m really glad that we’re bonding now even though we got off on a rough start,” Yuu happily declares a few roads down later, and Takanori makes a face in return. “Isn’t this so great?”  
   
“Shiroyama, you need to learn how to shut the fuck up during long drives. How did your chauffeur back at home ever stand you?” Takanori doesn’t want to admit that he’s grown so used to hearing Yuu’s voice all the time that if the raven remained quiet, he’d begin to grow more unsettled than anything else. It’s good that Yuu’s talking, Takanori thinks to himself. It’s good that Yuu’s in a good enough mood to do so.  
   
“ _Everyone_ loves my company. I know I’m beginning to warm up to you. You can’t deny it.” Yuu glances expectantly over to Takanori.  
   
“Kouyou pays your chauffeur well, doesn’t he?” Takanori remarks bluntly. Yuu makes a huge pout in response.  
   
“Clearly not enough, since he sold me out to the mafia.”  
   
 _Oh,_ Takanori notes quietly to himself. _So that’s what happened._  
   
“Or maybe he was just incredibly glad not to be babysitting a five-year-old kid anymore, and saw his one chance and took it.” Takanori doesn’t pass up his opportunity to insult, his eyes remaining heavily concentrated on the road before him.  
   
“You know, Ruki, I’ve wondered about this for ages,” Yuu begins playing with his fingers. “Why do you fall into the cliché stereotype of a cold, tough assassin who pretends he doesn’t care but secretly has feelings, too? What sad past do you have that made you out to be this way?”  
   
Takanori’s no longer even surprised at the kind of questions Yuu asks at this point. “What kind of fucked up superhero movies do you watch on a daily basis? You have a very warped perception of the world.”  
   
Yuu snickers, sensing Takanori’s evasion of his cleverly asked question. “Don’t worry, all the good guys always get a happy ending.”  
   
Takanori’s taken aback by his nonchalantly said words. _Good guy?_ Now he’s more than certain that Yuu’s terribly confused about his role around here.  
   
“You’ve got it wrong. I’m not a good guy.”  
   
“I disagree,” Yuu pipes. Then he’s smiling up to Takanori, a thankful look in his eye. “You’re good to me.”  
   
Takanori hates how Yuu does this – say things sometimes that leave the blond deep in thought and completely dumbfounded, with no other way to refute Yuu’s allegations. Takanori doesn’t know what to reply, even as he ponders on, and on, and tries to come up with some bullshit answer to debunk Yuu’s assertions.  
   
But at the end of the day, maybe, just _maybe_ , Takanori doesn’t want to deny it. Maybe he likes the thought of giving Yuu the comfort that maybe, just _maybe_ , Takanori can be seen as the good guy in Yuu’s world. It’s not that Takanori wants to be a hero, no, that’s the last thing on his mind. Takanori has too much blood on his hands to be able to wipe them clean; he knows there are many distraught families out there, missing their fathers or mothers or sons or daughters, all because Takanori has been tasked to kill them. He knows he has hurt too many people, inflicted too many wounds, taken too many lives away.  
   
Takanori’s not a good guy.  
   
But when Yuu falls asleep in his seat soon thereafter, clutching his seatbelt close to him for solace, Takanori ends up ransacking the compartments in the car and, to his luck, finds a relatively clean-looking blanket that’s just the right size to drape over the raven-haired’s curled up form.  
   
And Takanori decides he can be a good guy.  
   
Just for Yuu.  
   
This one time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update came so late, I kinda forgot I had Redefined lying around un-posted ^^;;
> 
> now that I'm ~~almost~~ done with Seeking Arrangement, I'll be concentrating more on Rukaoi and Redefined. I missed baby assassin Ruru!  <3 I am excited about this story, I just keep forgetting about it. XD
> 
> Comments are so loved and appreciated as usual <3333


	5. Chapter 5

They make it a habit to consume their take-away dinner within the confines of their motel rooms. Night after night, Yuu and Takanori spend their time in each other’s company, with Yuu contributing to the bulk of their conversations. It’s the most that Takanori has spoken to anyone in awhile; even back home, with Akira, the gun dealer has always recognised Takanori’s need for space, and dutifully respects that. Akira never questioned him more than he thought he should, and he’d back off immediately if Takanori so much as flinched at him. Yuu, however, is a different case.  
   
Well, Yuu is _always_ a different case.  
   
Takanori has never met anyone like him before – someone so… to put it awfully, _inconsiderate_. Takanori thinks that some part of Yuu must secretly relish in overstepping into people’s personal space, and that some part of that raven-haired must be sadistic by nature. Yuu doesn’t leave Takanori alone, and he often makes sure to fill the silence up with thoughtless chatter as much as he can. It’s as if he’s allergic to silence and loneliness. Takanori’s not sure if Yuu has ever been lonely in his life.  
   
But Yuu’s innocence and positivity is infectious, and it doesn’t irk Takanori as much as it should. That particular knowledge irritates him. What vexes Takanori even further is the fact that when Yuu falls asleep next to him on the bed, his lean fingers delicately grasping at the white sheets for comfort, Takanori can’t tear his eyes away from the pretty sight, and he finds himself often staying up a little while longer late into the night just to enjoy Yuu’s presence next to him. This feeling is lethal, Takanori knows. He knows what he’s getting himself into, and it’s not even by choice. He’s brushing it off as unnecessary attachment to his mission at hand, and he’s sure that these weak feelings of… _sentiment_ will disappear as soon as Takanori completes his task and returns Yuu back to his rightful lover.  
   
Takanori’s a grown man, and he still has primal needs that need to be fulfilled. All of these unnecessary attachment to Yuu must have built up because he hasn’t sought Akira out for sex for too long. And that must be the only explanation for it, because Takanori _can’t_ accept any other possibility.  
   
Yuu begins to help Takanori get ready in the mornings before they set off. He’d poke into Takanori’s mess of a make-up bag, and pull out cracked eye shadow palettes and dried out eyeliners. It doesn’t come as a surprise to Takanori that Yuu has an interest in make-up as well, seeing as how much of a trophy wife Yuu seems to want to be for Kouyou. Yuu hasn’t had time or the resources to dress himself up nicely or put on make-up during their entire trip so far, but Takanori thinks Yuu looks attractive enough the way he is, anyway.  
   
Yuu has a nice, natural peachy skin tone, and his eyes are bright enough on their own. Yuu barely needs any beauty enhancements, but Takanori’s sure that Yuu must be absolutely irresistible once properly made up. He’s grown to envy Kouyou slightly, when he thinks about all that Kouyou has seen of Yuu. _And_ when Takanori reaches this point of thought, he berates himself mentally and resents himself. He’s having pointless thoughts again, thoughts that will lead him to nowhere.  
   
“I just think you should consider lipstick sometime,” Yuu says, one morning, when he’s busy lining Takanori’s eyes with eye shadow. Takanori has never liked anyone touching his things, but Yuu seems to like playing with Takanori’s make-up and helping to apply it onto Takanori’s skin, and Takanori has long resigned to the fact that he _does_ like seeing Yuu happy, and occupying the raven with things that make him happy seem to do the trick.  
   
It’s too easy to give in to the raven-haired, for reasons unknown to Takanori. He almost feels obliged to give in to Yuu’s demands sometimes, because the raven’s completely breath-taking when his eyes glisten up to Takanori in delight, the corners of his rosy lips tugging up into a grateful smile. It’s horrible, and Takanori hates himself for it, but he can’t resist Yuu when he looks to him like that.  
   
“I have no use for lipstick,” Takanori mutters under his breath, keeping his gaze straight onto Yuu’s face. He makes sure not to blink too much, playing the part of a willing accomplice.  
   
“I’m sure you’ll look great in it,” Yuu teases, leaning over just a little closer to even out Takanori’s eyes. It always feels intimate, allowing Yuu to apply make-up for him like this, their noses almost touching each time Yuu dips his head near. Yuu remains unfazed by it, though, and Takanori suddenly wishes he could decipher Yuu’s thoughts. Yuu can’t think this situation is normal. Or perhaps it is, for Yuu, and it just isn’t for Takanori.  
   
“You always forget my profession,” Takanori retorts, defensive. “I’m only wearing make-up because it’s an easy disguise.”  
   
“Well, everyone needs a hobby,” Yuu says with a coy laugh, lowering the eye shadow brush he has in hand. “ _So_ you like playing with make-up. So what?”  
   
Takanori’s throat constricts, and his eyes flutter down in a perplexed, dazed movement. Yuu’s trying his best to make Takanori feel at ease, Takanori can tell. Yuu doesn’t see it his position to judge Takanori for whatever, or whoever he is, and Yuu just wants the blond assassin to give in, and open himself up more to him. Yuu is hospitable and affable by nature, and Takanori can’t seem to detect any ill will or intentions in the raven.   
   
“There are little moments during the day when I feel human,” the words escape Takanori’s lips before he has the chance to change his mind and take them back. He’s reluctant to divulge more, and Yuu sees that, so he continues the conversation for him.  
   
“So does doing this make you feel sane again?” Yuu offers up a smile to the blond, understanding how difficult it must be for Takanori to let slip bits of his innermost emotions like this.  
   
Takanori makes a small noise akin to a low grunt, and it’s an answer enough for the raven.  
   
“You need make-up lessons,” Yuu jokes, in a bid to lighten the tense atmosphere. He knows Takanori’s trying hard, in his own ways to open up to the raven, and Yuu’s thankful for that, he really is. “Or is smeared eye-shadow your kind of thing? Well, everyone has their own make-up style.”  
  
Takanori raises his gaze up to the raven-haired, appreciative of how careful Yuu’s speaking to him. Yuu doesn’t want to get into any grey areas that Takanori doesn’t want to touch upon – as intrusive as Yuu is already being – and Yuu simply is content enough conversing with Takanori like this, talking about things he knew wouldn’t push Takanori too far to speak of.  
   
And that’s enough sentiment to give Takanori the courage he needs.  
   
“When I was younger,” Takanori begins, his tone so soft Yuu has to strain his ears to pick up on it. The raven places down his brush, sensing that their conversation is about to take a serious turn. “My mother used to let me watch her do her make-up all the time. She did it every morning without fail. She always made sure she looked her best. She has never fallen short of perfection.” The blond’s eyes drift downwards, his eyes slowly going vacant. “Sometimes when I forget who I am, I pick up a brush and it almost feels like she’s in the room with me. Staring at the mirror, doing up her eyes, calling my name and asking me not to make a mess out of myself as I played with her make-up. It makes me feel sane again. It’s the only part of my old self I have left.”  
   
It’s the first time Takanori’s showing any form of nostalgia or sadness, and it pulls at Yuu’s heartstrings to witness such a devastating sight. Yuu can tell from the look on Takanori’s face that his mother must no longer be around, and Yuu can’t fathom the thought of losing a loved one like that. Yuu hasn’t experienced much loss in his life, and his parents have always doted on him for he’s their only son, and the mere thought of losing his mother – a figure he respects and adores very much – already pains Yuu.  
   
“I’m sorry,” Yuu murmurs quietly, and he’s briefly reaching a hand over to Takanori, lowering it thoughtfully and lightly down against the blond’s shoulder. It’s only a fleeting touch, but it’s enough to convey his concern. His touch calms Takanori, and Takanori – if only just slightly – leans in. “I’m sure she’s proud of the man that you’ve become. That you’ve become so strong. That you’re saving lives.”  
   
Takanori’s tight throat now makes his voice raspy. “I’m not saving lives, Shiroyama.”  
  
And he’s tired, he’s beginning to become exhausted from all these talk of him being a good person. Because he’s not. He’s an assassin, he murders people for a living, and it’s all down to selfish reasons such as greed and money. Takanori isn’t a good person.  
   
“It doesn’t have to be a lot,” Yuu says, and his hand is travelling upwards Takanori’s neck, playing briefly with the blond strands of Takanori’s hair. It’s a foreign feeling, and Takanori’s not used to being comforted this way. But it’s nice. It feels nice. And Takanori doesn’t feel so alone anymore. And maybe that’s all that matters.  
   
“You saved mine, already,” the raven continues, and there’s a small smile on his lips, and Takanori’s heart ceases in its breaking. “And you’ve saved yours. You don’t have to save a hundred lives to be a hero. That’s only for the noble.”  
   
“I’m not noble,” Takanori says, and he laughs. And it doesn’t hurt so much anymore, revealing a piece of himself to Yuu like this.  
   
In fact, it feels _free._  
   
“So am I,” Yuu grins. “But so what? There’s no fixed definition of a good or bad person. Everyone has their dark side. Some more than the others. Life isn’t always black and white. You don’t have to beat yourself up over what you were supposed to become, or what you’re not. You just are. And sometimes, that’s enough to be content about.”  
   
Takanori’s smile widens at his words. “I can’t believe I’m taking life lessons from Shiroyama Yuu. What sort of hardship do you know?” And Takanori doesn’t mean it offensively, he really doesn’t. And Yuu doesn’t take it as an insult, either, knowing that they’ve grown comfortable enough with each other by this point in time to speak freely about things like these.  
   
“I read a lot,” Yuu shrugs, and his answer earns him another laugh from the blond. “You know, it doesn’t matter what type of upbringing we’ve had, or what environment we’re in. We still meet the same type of humans. Wickedness is everywhere. Everyone’s greedy, and indulging in some type of sin.”  
   
“Is that so.” Takanori says, and now he’s certain that Yuu’s far more intelligent than he’d let on when Takanori had first met him.  
   
Takanori isn’t exactly shocked by that, though, and instead he finds himself more curious to hear more of Yuu’s thoughts, and he finds himself more intrigued by the person Yuu really is. He wonders if Kouyou bothers talking to him about matters such as these, or if Kouyou only sees Yuu for the beauty he is, and ignores all of the rest. Because it’d be truly a waste for someone like Yuu to squander all of that brightness away on being a simple trophy wife, and Takanori wonders if Yuu genuinely wants that life. He can’t blame Yuu if it really is. Kouyou’s handsome, and rich enough, and he can take care of Yuu. It’s an easy position to get comfortable in.  
   
“What are you thinking about?” Yuu asks, and Takanori only notices now that the raven still has his fingers through his blond strands, tangling lightly amongst them. Takanori has no heart to pull away. It’s comforting, and no one really touches him like this. Perhaps this is another sin he’ll indulge himself in – enjoying Yuu’s closeness, and refusing to admit to himself how much he’s beginning to like it.  
   
“Nothing,” Takanori lies through his teeth. He can’t outrightly say he’s thinking about the raven-haired.  
   
“You’re always so quiet,” Yuu sighs out. “It’s hard to know what you’re thinking.”  
   
“Why does it matter to you what I’m thinking of?” Takanori asserts, baffled, and with faint anger in his voice. Takanori’s angry, because Yuu’s not supposed to care, because otherwise Takanori will get used to this type of concern, and Takanori’s so _goddamn_ frightened of that happening. He can sense it happening, already, and he’s not used to this loss of control in situations. Takanori can’t have Yuu care for him. It's not right, it doesn’t belong, and Yuu’s supposed to hate him.  
   
“Because I don’t know if what I’m saying or doing is right or wrong,” Yuu confesses, and all of Takanori’s anger instantly melts away.  
   
“You shouldn’t care about these things,” Takanori mumbles, suddenly guilty for having spoken roughly with Yuu earlier. “You’ve already said so yourself – you shouldn’t beat yourself up about wrong or right. Life is a grey area.”  
   
Yuu smiles sheepishly up to him. “Maybe my sin is wanting to be liked, then. Loved. Given attention. I just want to know my presence is welcome.”  
   
Takanori glances to him, troubled at the admission. “Why?” Yuu shouldn’t have any problem being liked, too. He’s so easily likeable; but Takanori sees it now. It’s obvious the raven-haired likes being listened to, likes being doted on, likes being fawned over by the people around him.  
   
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s an innate thing. Like how you always hide your feelings away and wear that mask all the time. Even if I think you look better without it. You’re handsome, you know.”  
   
Takanori’s heart pounds harder against his will. He’s not used to being complimented on his looks, seeing as _no one else_ has seen it except for Akira, and now –  Yuu. And it makes Takanori so much more prideful when he recalls how good-looking Takashima Kouyou is, and how much Takanori differs from him, especially in terms of class. But Yuu seems to like the way Takanori looks, and that’s enough for him.  
   
“Thanks. I guess,” Takanori clears his throat, looking away. “It’s not something I particularly care about.”  
   
“I can see that,” Yuu laughs shortly, then he retracts his hand from Takanori’s hair, and reaches for the brush he has left at the side. He decides they’ve had enough personal _bonding_ for the day, and returns to a shallower matter at hand.  
   
“You know, Ruki; you really should try considering lipstick.”  
   
Yuu still won’t drop that ridiculous idea of his.  
   
“Maybe one day.”  
   
And Takanori entertains him.  
   
~  
   
_One day_ comes sooner than later, when they drive pass through a town, a good sign that they’re headed into the right direction. The desert they’d been in is slowly beginning to fade out into urban areas, and Takanori knows it won’t be too long before they reach the ship harbour, where they can safely board one and be well on their way home. It’s been a long while since Yuu has been surrounded by so much human activity, and so needless to say, he’s _ecstatic_. The town they’ve driven up to has proper hotels, bars, restaurants, malls; and anything else that’s required of a regular municipality.  
   
Yuu has his face pressed up against the car window the whole time Takanori drives around to find a suitable parking lot, and at the way that he’s ogling at all the people walking on the streets and all the cars passing by, you would think Yuu hasn’t been outside in _years_.  
   
“Stop staring at people funnily,” Takanori scolds, pulling up into a free parking space next to a suitable-looking hotel. “You’re acting like a caged animal.”  
   
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen _people_ ,” Yuu gasps out, palms pressed up against the window screen. “I’m so happy to see more of my kind. The desert’s been intimidating.”  
   
Of course. Yuu must have lived his entire life in cities, and more. Takanori doesn’t blame Yuu for his excitement; it’s understandable, to say the very least. Yuu acts so much like a child sometimes, Takanori has to shake his head and resist a laugh.  
   
“Just don’t let your face be seen,” Takanori reminds, parking the car nicely and removing his keys from the side. “I’m going to grab our baggage.”  
   
“Hey… What do you think about getting me a mask, as well?” Yuu chirps, turning his head animatedly to face Takanori as the very idea of it pops into his head. “It’d hide my face, and we could be twins! I could be Ruki V2.0. Your deadly sidekick. Well, not so deadly. I’d be the friendlier one. The one that gives candy to kids on the streets, and waves goodbye to everyone after you’ve won our superhero mission for the day.”  
   
Takanori has gotten out of the car by now, slinging the stuffed duffel bag onto his shoulder, cocking an eyebrow up at Yuu’s suggestion. A mask for Yuu, as well? It’s not a bad idea, and it’d be kind of cute on Yuu, too, but it’d also be a real shame, considering the fact that Yuu was so pretty, and to hide his face away would be a real loss to anyone in his vicinity and to the universe, in general. Takanori’s not sure he wants to see those sensual, naturally cherry red lips get covered up all the time, when the mere sight of them is already so intoxicating, and leaving so much to be desired for.  
   
There’s a dead pause in between before Yuu speaks again.  
   
“You think I’m… pretty?” The raven asks, wide-eyed, in disbelief at the words he’d just heard leave Takanori’s lips. Albeit, in a rather low, disgruntled murmur; but Yuu has always had good hearing, and he’s certain he’d heard every word loud and clear.  
   
Takanori freezes, his entire world shattering as Yuu’s question floats to his ears. _Fuck_. Had he echoed his thoughts out loud? He needs to be more careful and guarded around the raven-haired man, for Takanori seems to be slipping up and making mistakes more than he should – more than he usually _does_ on a daily basis, and Takanori has always been such a perfectionist. But Yuu is making him lose his self-control. Takanori’s losing his usual authority and power with Yuu around, and it shows. _God,_ Takanori hates being this way.  
   
“I’m flattered,” Yuu’s lips curl up into giggles at the comment, and he’s twirling a hair strand absentmindedly as he gets out of the car himself.  
   
And he brushes the compliment off as soon as it comes, as if he doesn’t think anything about it, as if it’s only natural that Takanori thinks so of him. Is Yuu used to being labelled attractive all the time? Why is he taking this in such good stride?  
   
Takanori doesn’t feel like he has any dignity left inside of him anymore.  
   
“But I still think a mask would be cool, for me,” Yuu chatters on to the blond, a delighted look on his face as he eases the car door shut. Takanori locks the car and ignores Yuu, his stoic face full of embarrassment, and keeps walking on ahead in the parking lot, adamant on getting to the front counter of the hotel as soon as possible to book a hotel room for the both of them. He’d just pretend that he hadn’t just said what he’d _just said_ , and hopefully the matter could pass between the both of them like it’d never even happened. Takanori only had so much pride before he melted away into nothingness, after all.  
   
“Hey, Ruki! Are you listening? I want a mask, too!”  
   
“Dumbshit fucking fuck good for nothing asshole,” Takanori mutters heavily under his breath as he walks on, wearing an incredibly pissed off look on his face. Yuu isn’t even sure if Takanori is paying attention to him anymore.  
   
Yuu halts in his footsteps when he hears Takanori’s angry ramblings, his beautiful face falling, his heart sinking momentarily in his chest. He’s not sure if Takanori is feeling annoyed now, by Yuu, but it isn’t a good feeling, and he’s hurt at the very thought, wondering if he’d crossed a limit with his saviour. He’d just been joking with Takanori as usual, just been teasing Takanori about wanting a mask of his own so he could pair up with the assassin and have something in common with him. But perhaps Takanori, with his uncommunicative and standoff-ish personality, takes things too seriously sometimes, and can’t take so much ‘foolishness’ from Yuu. Yuu understands if that’s the case… even if it stings his heart dearly from the inside.  
   
“Are you talking about me?” Yuu musters the courage to ask quietly from behind, keeping his wounded eyes focused on the ground, not daring to fall into line with Takanori and walk at the same pace with him.  
   
Takanori stops when he realizes that Yuu has been listening to him.  
   
Ugh. Great. Now Takanori has to explain that he hadn’t _actually_ been cursing Yuu under his breath, and was actually cursing himself and his idiocy and his fucking lack of self-control around the raven-haired and his failure as a human being for not being able to keep his goddamn cursed feelings to himself–  
   
“I wasn’t talking about you,” Takanori answers reluctantly, and he wants to leave it at that. God forbid Yuu press on for the exact reason – Takanori doesn’t want to ever have to dwell on his ever-growing feelings for the raven.  
   
Yuu’s still a little sceptical, knowing that he can get a little much at times, but the neat assurance from Takanori is enough to perk his spirits right back up again. He hurries in his footsteps, eager to walk by Takanori’s side.  
   
“I don’t have to get a mask if you don’t want me to,” Yuu hastily clears up, worrisomely gazing up into Takanori’s shielded, impenetrable eyes. Takanori’s heart softens a bit at the slight change in Yuu’s tone; the raven’s afraid he has offended the assassin with his remarks, and is doing all he can to salvage the situation. Is Yuu really that concerned over how people look at him? Yuu really does look so upset at the thought of Takanori finding him exasperating. “It was just a suggestion. I’m easily recognizable, so I thought maybe wearing a mask like you do might help me around here. But… we don’t have to do it if you don’t want me to!”  
   
“It’s not a good idea,” Takanori responds, with his voice lowered, thinking through Yuu’s plan as pragmatically and prudently as possible. “I’m afraid they might confuse you with me, or any other assassin, for the matter. Besides, a mask isn’t comfortable. I’m used to it, after all these years, but you probably wouldn’t like it.”  
   
Yuu nodded his head in understanding. “Okay. That’s fair. I understand.”  
   
Takanori smiles slightly behind his mask, raising a hand to caress gently at the top of Yuu’s hair. Seeing the usually so fired up Yuu be reduced to such meek, compliant behaviour makes the raven-haired seem too adorable, for some reason.  
   
“That’s not to say we can’t make some changes to your outlook, if you really want a disguise of some sort. It’s a good idea, actually, to make you less recognisable. We’ll check in to our hotel and then scour for a hair salon nearby, if that’s what you want.”  
   
It’s clearly what Yuu wants, for _that’s_ when Takanori sees the wicked glint appear in Yuu’s eye.  
   
“I want it!”  
   
“You’re way too excited for someone who’s being hunted down by fugitives,” Takanori chuckles, patting at Yuu’s head. Yuu has gone into an absolute _frenzy_ , and he’s waving his hands about excitedly, slipping out sniggers of elation at the thought of being involved in some impromptu make-over.  
   
“It’s been so long since I did something with my hair, I haven’t prepared for this moment _at all_ …”  
   
“Shiroyama,” Takanori cleared his throat, reminding Yuu to stay grounded with his ideas. “We’re not doing anything too extravagant.”  
   
Yuu glanced to him with a snigger, mischief filling his eyes. “You can’t _actually_ stop me.”  
   
But Yuu looks so happy, to be doing something that’s so in his element, that Takanori doesn’t argue with the raven any longer, and lets Yuu bask in the flurry of a potential make-over. It’s well-deserved, anyway, after all Yuu has been through. It’d be nice to be doing some luxurious pampering on the raven, after making him spend plenty of nights at run-down motels, and whiling most of his time away on the road in old, beat-up cars.  
   
A hair salon seems like a good start to bringing him back into the world he’s so used to; the one where he rightfully belongs in.  
   
~  
   
Takanori thinks he’s made a big mistake.  
   
“Just cut it all off,” Yuu instructs the hair stylist enthusiastically, shifting himself back against the chair as he stares forth into the full-length mirror situated before him. He’s _too_ eager about this, and Takanori’s beginning to second guess if this is the right thing to do.  
   
After checking into the hotel and getting themselves a nice, discreet room (Yuu doesn’t request for a separate room, and Takanori has no plans on separating from the raven lest the raven gets hijacked in his sleep) Takanori had managed to locate a rather grand, lush-looking hair salon on the ground level of the hotel, and decided to bring Yuu to it for the make-over he so desperately wants.  
   
The salon seems extravagant and lavish enough; the high ceilings bear crystal white chandeliers, and the marble floor is immaculately clean, reflecting off the glistening lights above. It seems like a place Yuu would go to have a simple hair cut or two, and so Takanori has no qualms about bringing Yuu to it, hoping silently that the raven-haired approves of the salon he has chosen.  
   
Yuu doesn’t seem to particularly take notice of anything, however. He just sits himself down in the chair, twirls himself around a little bit in glee, and runs his hands up his long raven hair, fluffing it before the mirror.  
   
Then he tells the hair stylist to cut his long tresses all off, and Takanori does a huge double take. Sure, Yuu’s certainly very recognisable with his gorgeous long raven hair, and it’s a good idea to cut them off so Yuu won’t be as quickly identified; but his long hair is also what sets him apart from others, and it complements his breathtaking features so nicely, and Takanori’s _not so sure_ about being the cause of Yuu losing all of that. That’s not to say Yuu won’t be beautiful without his long hair, but – _but_ – but it’d be such a waste, and it makes Takanori’s heart ache slightly at the thought of Yuu losing it all. Yuu looks so beautiful, with his long raven locks, and Takanori’s not going to deny he likes weaving his fingers down through Yuu’s hair sometimes, when he thinks the raven is asleep on the bed next to him, and won’t feel Takanori’s rough touches against his hair.  
   
“Are you sure you want to do that?” Takanori steps in as soon as Yuu makes the suggestion, trying to seem unbothered by Yuu’s decision even if his heart is racing hurriedly inside of him. “Shiroyama, your hair isn’t going to grow back so easily.”  
   
Yuu feigns to contemplate over Takanori’s words, a finger resting upon his chin. “Hn. Okay. Maybe I’ll just dye it pink then.”  
   
Takanori has to stop himself from making a face. Yuu’s clearly treating this like a game and not thinking his hair decisions through at all.  
   
“I’m fairly certain Takashima will kill me,” Takanori points out, sighing. “No pink.”  
   
Yuu groans once he hears Kouyou being mentioned, and his legs kick up high into the air, ending off with a frustrated whine. “Kouyou _never_ lets me do anything! Pleeaase, Ruki, I just want to do something outrageous to my hair for once. This is the only chance I’m going to get. Kouyou won’t be upset if I do it with good reason. He’s not here to stop me for once!”  
   
Takanori frowns deeply at the raven’s reasoning, suddenly understanding where the twenty-nine year old’s eagerness for a make-over had come from. Takanori doesn’t have to be told about Kouyou’s controlling demeanour to know that the president of the Takashima Group must be very domineering, very authoritative in the way he acts, be it in his work, or personal life. Yuu’s definitely a wild child, one that’s hard to be tamed and kept under control, and for a moment Takanori wonders how Yuu fits with Kouyou when the raven’s so… _so_ full of life. Because for men like Takashima, who seek to only have trophy wives, they undoubtedly want subservient, submissive other halves, and Yuu… Yuu’s so different.  
   
Suddenly Takanori remembers how afraid and hurt Yuu had gotten when he thought Takanori was mad at him, and it all begins to make sense. When you’ve been brought up under the public’s limelight, with all these other equally posh families scrutinising you and your every movement, it’s important to always be on your best behaviour, and to make yourself as endearing to onlookers as much as possible. Coupled with the fact that he found himself engaged to a man that _definitely_ likes being in control, Yuu has always been trained to feel like his own thoughts and feelings don’t matter, and that he has to be as naturally pleasing and likeable as far as possible to the people he care about.  
   
But that’s not the Yuu Takanori sees, burning bright inside of him. It’s not Yuu, at all.  
   
And as much as Takanori likes Yuu’s long hair, Takanori doesn’t want to be _that_ man who enforces his own desires and wants unto Yuu. Because Yuu’s his own person, he has his own wishes and preferences, and Takanori doesn’t want to be like every other person in Yuu’s life, dictating every choice Yuu makes.  
   
Takanori wants to give Yuu a chance to feel… _free._  
   
“No pink,” Takanori remains adamant on this though, wincing at the very idea of Yuu becoming a pink-head. Dyeing his hair pink is a bit of a long stretch. “But if you want to cut your hair short… Well, I don’t see the harm in that.” Yuu needs to be given some freedom in the way he portrays himself at least, and Takanori wonders how long it’s been since Yuu has done something like this for himself.  
   
“Really?” Yuu grins up to him, thrilled that he’s been given the go-ahead to proceed in a decision he never thought he’d be allowed to make. “Ruki, you’re the best!”  
   
Takanori feels his heart grow warm, and the man’s gaze falters a bit as he watches the way Yuu’s face glows when he’s happy. _Mesmerising_ , Takanori registers in his mind, smiling faintly to himself at the sight. _Absolutely mesmerising._  
   
“I want a pixie cut,” Yuu explains to the hair stylist, squirming excitedly in his seat. “Just leave it long in the front, you know, and shorter at the back. I want to say hello to a new me!”  
   
Takanori chuckles to himself, and steps aside to allow the hair stylist to work his magic on the raven-haired. It’s going to take awhile, but Takanori has time to waste. He takes a seat on one of the available chairs in the salon, grabbing for a magazine or two to occupy himself with until Yuu’s done with his hair cut. He doesn’t forget to flicker his eyes back up every minute or so, checking up on Yuu’s progress as time passes by. The excitement on Yuu’s face doesn’t leave him even for a second; the raven-haired is beyond _ecstatic._ Takanori ends up finding that he doesn’t read the magazine he’s holding in his hands at all, no; Yuu’s the only distraction around here that he ever needs.  
   
~  
   
Takanori was dead wrong.  
   
He’d been nervous before about Yuu’s haircut, feeling sorry to see those gorgeous long locks go, and despite wanting Yuu to make his own decisions and do things that made his own damn self happy, Takanori still felt a keen sense of loss as he watched the hair stylist snipe off long inches of hair from Yuu, allowing those shiny locks of strands to plummet gently to the marble floor beneath them. There’s a certain fragility to Yuu that is so evidently echoed in his long hair; Takanori wouldn’t have nicknamed Yuu ‘ _princess_ ’ otherwise. Because every movement that Yuu makes is graceful and poised, like the way Yuu’s hair falls elegantly to the side as he gazes up innocently into Takanori’s eyes while speaking to him, and Takanori doesn’t ever want to lose that.  
   
Takanori had been worried whether this would be a good choice for Yuu – in aesthetically pleasing and fashionable terms, because Takanori _does_ value appearances, and is fond of beauty himself – but looking at Yuu now, who has just finished his little pixie cut stint… Takanori doesn’t know why he’d been so worried in the first place.  
   
Yuu is beautiful, through and through, even now, as his long bangs frame the front sides of his face; his raven hair having been razored short in the back. His pixie cut isn’t overly short, and it’s just the right length to accentuate the softness of his features and his dark moonlit eyes that seem to dazzle even under the chandelier lights.  
  
Takanori’s in love. But just as that very thought rushes through his mind, he stops himself, and corrects it. Takanori’s in love with the way Yuu’s new hair looks, that’s all, and that will definitely be all to it. Yuu looks irresistible, and bewitching, and unquestionably happy with how this entire haircut had turned out. And perhaps it’s the happiness in his eyes that’s lighting his whole face up, and making him look like the only thing that’s worth a sight around here.  
   
“I love it! What do you think, Ruki?” Yuu asks, eager to know what his assassin companion thinks, just as the hair stylist behind him removes the black sheet slash cape he’d placed around the raven’s front chest earlier.  
   
Takanori attempts to look as disinterested as possible, feigning boredom as he surveys Yuu’s hair before him. “It’s something new. Nice, I guess. It suits you. Pixie cuts are in trend.”  
   
Yuu narrows his eyes to Takanori at how casual he’s trying to play this off, grinning satisfiedly to himself. He can tell Takanori likes the cut, judging from all the fleeting glances Takanori has been giving him throughout this entire salon session, quietly ogling at Yuu’s new hair from the side. But Takanori’s just shy, and Yuu will accept that.  
   
“I feel so different, already,” Yuu laughs, hands moving up to feel at his hair. “I feel so… _light_! Like a bird. Like I’m invincible. I’m a changed person, from today onwards.”  
   
“ _Okay_ , Superman,” Takanori manages a chuckle out, before the hair stylist leads him to the counter, and informs him of the payment. Takanori pays promptly with the cash he has on hand, having never liked credit cards, and sneaks more glances of the raven, smiling gently as he sees Yuu peering into the mirror before him, vainly admiring his new pixie look. Yuu’s always _so_ obvious, and Takanori never wants that brutally honest, and transparent, part of him to fade away.  
  
~  
   
They barely make five steps out of the salon when Yuu rushes up to hug Takanori tightly from behind, pressing his face blissfully right up against Takanori’s back. They’re close, _too_ close, much closer than Takanori is used to with another human being; and Takanori stops in his tracks, his heart having frozen still the second Yuu secured him right into a vice grip.  
   
“Thank you,” Yuu murmurs out, softly, and Takanori wants to ask _why_ , but thinks he has a small inkling, and decides against it.  
   
“You’re welcome,” Takanori answers, gruffly, knowing he’s fucked beyond this point; knowing that everything he thought he knew about Yuu has changed; knowing that he has no choice but to treat the raven as gently as he possibly can in the future.  
   
Yuu doesn’t let go immediately, and what follows is that they have a moment together. Yuu nuzzles his head happily into Takanori’s shirt, while Takanori chuckles and simply lets his hands fall down, caressing past gently at Yuu’s slim fingers that were pressed against his stomach.  
   
“You’re surprisingly quiet,” Yuu teases, and Takanori laughs at the irony.  
   
“I should be the one saying that to you, noisy bird.”  
   
“Well,” Yuu thinks it over. “If I’m a bird, can I be a dove?”  
   
“Why?”  
   
“I don’t know. They look free.”  
   
These words don’t leave Takanori’s head. Not for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuu & pixie cut = <3
> 
> I hope this fic isn't too slow-moving, because I always plan my fics out to be quite short and quick (like how I did for SA) but when I write them out, they're stretched out longer than I expected. XD;;
> 
> Let me know if you enjoyed <3


	6. Chapter 6

For the first in many motel nights, Takanori doesn’t have to sneak off to restaurants nearby (with limited amounts of _bland_ choices to choose from) to get takeaway for Yuu and him to feast upon within the walls of their squeezy motel room. He’d spotted many respectable-looking restaurants upon driving into town earlier, and Takanori thinks tonight they may just have a chance to settle down into a proper diner and have food when it’s piping hot and ready. Yuu will appreciate that, and lord knows the raven deserves it. Takanori decides to take Yuu out to a nice restaurant for dinner tonight, and when the raven-haired realizes, Yuu’s jumping for joy.  
   
They don’t have much fancy clothes, seeing as the only clothes Yuu has to change into are emergency ones that Takanori brought along, but Takanori promises him that they’ll try to do some quick shopping tomorrow before heading back onto the road, and Yuu happily agrees. For tonight, Yuu is content wearing a simple grey shirt, and dark denim jeans that Takanori had picked out for him. Takanori’s sure that Yuu dresses far more elaborate than this, back at home where his rightful place is by Kouyou’s side, since he’s seen the photos they’ve taken together and has always seen Yuu draped in layers of fancy scarves and jackets and much more. But Yuu dons the casual look so well, too, looking like a male androgynous model as he does so, looking absolutely tantalizing with how well clothes seem to stick to his skin.  
   
Yuu seems to also be fond of jackets, for he has taken to grabbing Takanori’s own selection of clothes, selectively picking out oversized jackets – Takanori isn’t too fond of wearing his own size and always buys clothes two sizes larger for comfort’s sake – and putting them on. Tonight, Yuu’s wearing an oversized, green camouflage army-printed jacket, one that belongs to Takanori. It smells like Takanori, _feels_ like Takanori, and Yuu often finds himself snuggling against it, liking how close it makes him feel to the blond. Takanori doesn’t even make a snarky comment about it. Yuu looks so comfy in his clothes, and it gives Takanori a tingling feeling inside to see as such. It’s almost as if they were made to be.  
   
Takanori wonders if Yuu likes to wear Kouyou’s clothes very often, too.  
   
The restaurant that Takanori has chosen for them tonight has a level of class and luxury to it, and the waiter that greets them at the front door, dressed in a tux, is the same waiter that leads them into the restaurant and gives them a good table in the corner, where they can have their own privacy – a little something of Takanori’s request. The restaurant isn’t particularly crowded, but it has enough _rich_ patrons in it for the restaurant to be slightly noisy, accompanied by many sounds of wine glasses clinking together, and Takanori’s grateful for the secluded spot they’ve been given, far away from the rest of the chatter.  
   
Yuu is, unbelievably, right to the very definition of the word – _posh._ He knows his table etiquette exceedingly well, and he has a passive, smiling face on as he thanks the waiter and waves him off. He sits upright in his chair, never slouching, and he has incredibly posture as he reaches for the menu, taking his time to flip through it. Yuu is a person that has been born into the high life, and it shows.  
   
Takanori observes all of this with a confused smile on his lips. He hadn’t worn his usual mask out tonight, instead choosing to tone his image down a little with simply tying a black bandana with elegant white print over to hide his mouth. He knows he’ll have to take it off later, when they start their meal together, but for some odd reason, Takanori doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind going out to dinner with Yuu, he doesn’t mind taking his mask off for once, just to _have_ dinner with Yuu. He knows it’s a small sacrifice to make to be seated opposite Yuu like this and fine dine with him, and he doesn’t even think twice about doing it. Funny how a week ago, he would rather shoot himself in the leg before he lowered his mask for anybody. Here he was, a week on, exposing himself completely to a beauty that he’d just met.  
   
There’s a nagging voice in his head, telling him that this must be only so _because_ Takanori so desperately wanted to know what it felt like to be on a date of some sorts with the raven, but Takanori tunes that irritating voice out. The voice comes back shortly later, telling Takanori that the blond’s a coward for not wanting to face up to the fact that _yes,_ Takanori wants to experience a reality that he know will never surface; a reality where Takanori is capable and worthy enough to take Yuu out on classy, expensive dates like these and take care of Yuu and pamper him; a reality where they have the opportunity to dress nice, and can bond over mindless conversations over the dinner table. A reality that Takashima has with Yuu. A reality that doesn’t belong to him.  
   
Takanori has always been terrible at being honest with himself.  
   
“I’m kind of missing our motel dinners,” is what Yuu begins with to break the ice between them, and Takanori acknowledges this with a frown. He’d thought Yuu would be happy to be having a dinner as grand as this again. “There’s so much food to choose from, here. It’s actually feeling foreign to me.”  
   
Takanori’s eyebrow raises at his remark. “Are you… complaining?”  
   
“I’m not complaining when you’re being so nice to me,” Yuu shakes his head, clearing up. Takanori begins to feel self-conscious and miserably wants to deny that statement, but he knows Yuu _knows_ it’s true, anyway. He’d brought Yuu here for the sole purpose of bringing more comfort to the raven, and as much as he denied it, he had been doing this as a nice gesture for Yuu. The past few days have been rough, and he wants to make up to Yuu for it.  
   
“Of course I appreciate it. But there’s something nice about having dinner with only one person in the room. I don’t know, I never really had anything as intimate like that with Kouyou. It’s always fancy dinners with him.”  
   
At the mention of Yuu’s fiancé, Takanori swallows saliva thickly down his throat, feeling his heart grow heavy at the thought. “I imagine he must be big on the whole taking you out to dinner thing.”  
   
“Well, yeah,” Yuu shrugs. “Kouyou’s big on impressing me. He’s always like that, trying to appease me and make me happy. He’s very sweet.” And he leaves it at that. Takanori doesn’t want the conversation to linger further on Kouyou, and Yuu doesn’t seem like he wants it, too. “Anyway, do you know what you want to eat?”  
   
“Hn. Maybe you can give me recommendations, since you know these places so well,” Takanori says flippantly, leaning back in his seat with both arms folded in a grouchy stance, not even bothering to reach for the extra menu lying by the side. Yuu grins up to him with a knowing look. “I’ll have whatever you’re having. There shouldn’t be a bad dish in here anyway.”  
   
Yuu laughs softly to himself, looking at the sight. Takanori feels Yuu’s gaze on him, and it makes him feel even more uncomfortable, even more embarrassed at how the raven seems to find the sight of him amusing. Is Takanori doing something wrong? Wait – why in the seven _hells_ would Takanori care if he was doing something wrong in front of the raven? Takanori could shoot anyone in this restaurant point blank and watch them die right before his eyes and he wouldn’t even feel a single thing. But when it came to Yuu… _well_. Takanori feels compromised.  
   
The blond squints to the raven-haired man, wondering why Yuu’s so humoured.  
   
“ _What_?” Takanori feels attacked, already.  
   
“You’re just so… _different_ ,” Yuu quietly smiles to himself, his spellbinding eyes heavily illuminated by the shimmering lights hung above him. Takanori feels like the whole restaurant goes quiet every single time he immerses himself in those pair of dark orbs, with nothing but the sounds of their hearts frantically beating in the silence, chasing after a reality Takanori knows will never exist.  
   
“You’re not the type of man that likes being around a crowd, do you? I bet you never liked restaurants like these. Do you think people like me are wasteful and overly extravagant? I feel like you went out of your way tonight, to take me here to have dinner.”  
   
Takanori makes a grunting noise, and turns his head to the side, not liking being analysed by Yuu so transparently like this. “I didn’t say anything.”  
   
“You don’t have to say it. You already look so uncomfortable being here,” Yuu says, in a light, happy, teasing voice. “It’s cute, actually. How out of place you look. I think it’s cute how sweet you’re being, taking me here.”  
   
“Stop overestimating yourself,” Takanori snaps, but Yuu isn’t offended by his supposed angry stances anymore. Yuu simply smiles knowingly to himself when he sees how flustered Takanori is getting right before him, and Takanori _hates_ it, hates how Yuu knows that Takanori has it bad for him. “Get on with it and order your goddamn food already, _princess_.”  
   
The raven’s eyes perk up at the sound of Takanori’s lovely nickname for him returning, as well as the little instruction that accompanies it. “Oh? You want me to order?”  
   
Takanori has an expression of incredulousness on his face. “Does the _princess_ want me to help your royal highness make his order?” Damn, he knows Yuu has been taken care of his entire life, but he hadn’t expected Yuu to be waited on hand and foot till to _this_ state.  
   
Yuu frowns, then finds himself looking back down to the menu in his hands, admitting aloud with a soft sigh: “I… um. Kouyou never lets me do it. I don’t know, I guess it has something to do with some gentlemanly thing? I’m surprised you’re letting me order.”  
   
And Yuu looks so bewildered, so puzzled as to being given the opportunity to be doing something as _menial_ as this, that it breeds unease in Takanori’s heart. This is supposed to be something normal, something that Yuu should be able to get to do from day-to-day, but it looks like the extent of Kouyou’s control over him doesn’t stop at just his hair decisions.  
   
“Takashima doesn’t seem to let you do much, does he?” Takanori questions, concerned at the thought. Yuu doesn’t seem to have much of a life outside his fiancé, when Yuu could do _so_ much more.  
   
Not allowing Yuu to do anything to his hair is… _well_ , slightly understandable (anybody would be sad to see Yuu destroy his hair, even if it was Yuu’s own hair at the end of the day), but not even giving Yuu any opportunity to order his own food? Takashima’s beginning to seem like a… control freak. Sure, Kouyou’s a CEO and all that, but to control Yuu into doing his every bidding like Yuu’s just some submissive love slave for him? Fuck that. Yuu is a being that’s worth so much more, and has so many things he wants to do on his own.  
   
“Kouyou just wants the best for me, that’s all,” but even as Yuu says this, he sounds monotone and resigned, as if he’s just repeating words that his fiancé must have said to him ten thousand times over and over, just to convince the raven that Kouyou only has his best interests at heart. “Of course, Kouyou makes sure I get whatever I want. He buys me anything I want, you know, makes sure I get anything I ask for.”  
   
Takanori has to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. “Since when do relationships depend on materialistic wants like that?” he asks, and Yuu goes silent right away, at a complete loss for words. Then there’s a familiar fire of rage kindling up in his eyes once more, like he can’t believe the blond has just made such a careless, rude comment about his perfect relationship like _that._  
   
“I’m sure you have a lot of relationship advice, don’t you, mister assassin?” Yuu counters right back, and he’s looking straight up into Takanori’s eyes, daring the blond to venture further and continue criticising a relationship he has no part to play in.  
   
Takanori knows he has hit a soft spot with the raven, but he’s not about to apologise for it. He knows Yuu is right, though. Who is Takanori to be judging his client’s relationship like that? For god’s sake, Takashima is _paying_ him – and can potentially take his life, too, if he doesn’t get Yuu safely back into his arms. Takanori’s only job here is to keep Yuu from harm, and that’s it. Takanori isn’t here to judge anyone’s relationship, or dish out unwanted advice, or feel _angry_ that Takashima isn’t treating Yuu the way he’s supposed to.  
   
As much as Takanori wants to show Yuu the alternative.  
   
“Just get on with your order,” Takanori growls. Yuu glares up to him, hating how the assassin never seems to let down his pride enough to offer him even a single ‘sorry’.  
   
“Don’t even _think_ that you’re in any position to make comments about Kouyou’s love for me,” Yuu continues, tightening his jaw. “You don’t even know him. And he treats me like I’m the only thing that matters to him in this world. It’s the only reason you’ve been sent here to save me. You wouldn’t even have this job otherwise. And I bet he’s paying you a heavy sum for it, too, isn’t he?”  
   
Takanori’s gaze hardens, realising that Yuu is so blinded by Kouyou’s status and power that he doesn’t even see that it’s not right for a man to be so commanding in a relationship. But if that’s what Yuu wants – to be treated like a five-year-old, like every decision he wants to make is wrong and not right – Takanori isn’t going to say anything.  
   
As much as it pains him to see the raven this way.  
   
“You’re right. Your relationship is your own business. I don’t know him, and I don’t know you. All I know is that I’ve been sent here to save you, and take you back to him, so the both of you can continue living your perfect, Barbie and Ken domestic life.” There’s still sarcasm underlying his tone, but Yuu doesn’t look as resentful to him anymore, not as much as before, now that he hears Takanori admitting up to the fact that he has no place in either of their lives.  
   
“You’re really not big on apologising,” Yuu notes, dryly. “Even your apology sounds like an insult.”  
   
“I don’t apologise when I’ve done nothing wrong,” Takanori flatly states out.  
   
Yuu’s eyes flame right back up in rage once more. “You really think you do no wrong, do you? You truly believe everything you do is right, and _I’m_ the one that’s being unreasonable here.”  
   
Takanori snorts, and he doesn’t even bother holding his thoughts back this time round. Takanori isn’t one to back down from a fight if need be, and he doesn’t want to allow his ever-growing affection for the raven to cloud his judgment or tolerance. “ _I’m_ not the one engaged to a man who won’t even let me order my fucking food, so you’re right, I have no business poking my nose into your affairs. So, are you going to finally order your food, or not, _princess_?”  
   
Yuu’s fingers dig vexingly down into the table cloth, but that’s all he does to express his anger. Yuu doesn’t act out much, Takanori realises. The raven-haired – in spite of all of his whining and spoilt tantrums sometimes – isn’t violent with the way he unleashes his emotions, and is still subdued enough to not hurt anyone in the process of getting his way. Takanori can’t help but be certain now that Yuu has been educated, taught and trained to act as such, and it makes Takanori look at him differently. Yuu may seem difficult and demanding at first impression, but he’s not as selfish as he seems. He’s civil and courteous when need be, and he accepts things the way as they are.  
   
He’s resigned to the life he has been born into, and it hits Takanori with a pang of sadness to see Yuu this way.  
   
“I’ll have the wagyu beef, please,” Yuu orders later, when he has waved the waiter politely over and put his well-mannered, pleasant smile on. “And so will the gentlemen dining with me today. Two glasses of ice water will be splendid.”  
   
Yuu’s good with facades, Takanori notices this. He acts differently with other people around, so unlike the Yuu Takanori has spent so much time with in the confines of their car. Takanori feels bad soon after, wondering if he’d ruined Yuu’s night with his snarky comments about Kouyou’s behaviour. He had taken Yuu out to have a nice dinner, after all, and ruining it like this was not part of any of his plans. He wonders if Yuu will forgive him for this, or if Yuu will decide to ignore him from this night forth, seeing no point in being cordial to a man that doesn’t offer the same treatment to him. It pricks at his heart to harbour such a thought, and Takanori doesn’t want things to be this way.  
   
But Takanori has no courage to tell Yuu the two words he really does mean to say, and he tries, he really does, but they won’t leave him, no matter what. Takanori doesn’t apologise, he _never_ apologises, and he will not start now to apologise for telling the raven the truth, instead of shielding him from it. The way Takashima treats Yuu isn’t right, isn’t how you should be treating your loved one, and Takanori isn’t happy to see Yuu subjected to such a controlling life.  
   
But it’s – ultimately – Yuu’s choice.  
   
They eat their dinner in silence. It’s the coldest Yuu has ever been to him. Even back when they’d just met, and Yuu hadn’t been too welcoming of Takanori’s presence, Yuu had still blabbed on to Takanori about what he’d been feeling, and making sure the silence was always filled with his thoughts, and occasionally, Takanori’s. Yuu doesn’t like silence, and after getting used to the chatter of Yuu’s voice, Takanori begins to understand why. Silence can feel lonely at times, after you’ve gotten used to the much better alternative. Takanori has always loved silence, found it the easiest to work with when he’s on all his missions, always found silence to work better in his favour when going out for the kill. But Yuu has changed everything, Yuu has screwed with his head, and Yuu now makes silence feel excruciatingly painful for the blond.  
   
Yuu doesn’t raise his head up at all during the course of dinner. He concentrates on his plate of food and chews on the beef quietly, not even offering Takanori one glance. Takanori watches Yuu with his heart weighed down in his chest, feeling like he’d fucked up bad with the raven. It’s funny how Takanori can feel no sense of remorse when he has murdered so many innocent strangers out there, and yet when it comes to the raven-haired princess, he goes through a whole array of emotions he didn’t even know existed inside of him.  
   
It makes him feel weak. And he doesn’t like that. He can’t accept the possibility that he might be taking more than a liking to Yuu – he can’t accept the disgrace of falling in love so easily with someone who will never choose him. It’s all happening too fast, and Takanori knows this _has_ to just be a silly crush, something that Takanori has been deprived of having in his teenage years.  
   
And maybe Takanori’s afraid. He’s frightened. He knows he’s fucked. He has always laughed at men who got too wound up in love, men who couldn’t prioritise themselves over their own lovers – men like Kouyou. They’d do anything for their partners, and Takanori’s no such type. He’s selfish, cold, and greedy. Takanori can’t risk himself for anyone else, he really can’t. He’s not meant for love. He’s not meant for Yuu.  
   
And Yuu would never choose him over Kouyou, anyway.  
   
In the end, Yuu, of course, is the one who shatters the silence between them. Takanori won’t make the first move, and Yuu knows that.  
   
“Maybe Kouyou’s not perfect,” Yuu finally admits, halfway through their course, biting his tongue as he does so. “So what? I love him. He treats me well, and that’s all that matters.”  
   
Takanori’s hesitant to argue with Yuu any more on this. “It’s your call.” He doesn’t want to upset Yuu any more than he already is about his fiancé. Kouyou is clearly important to Yuu, and Takanori has no say over that.  
   
Yuu feels slightly better, now that he sees Takanori trying his best to accommodate the raven. “I’m not _that_ mad. It’s just – no one has been on my side before. I guess. Whatever.”  
   
Takanori looks to him, his brows knitted together. “On your side about…?”  
   
“I don’t know. I never thought anything to be wrong with the way things work between him and I,” Yuu confesses, allowing a hint of confusion to pool within his eyes. “I know Kouyou can get a little too much at times, but it’s only because he loves me, he says so.”  
   
Takanori doesn’t like the sound of that. “He’s not your babysitter, and you’re not his play doll.”  
   
“Yeah, well.” Yuu stares down to his food, looking rather despondent. “You wouldn’t get it. Business and family politics and what not. It’s not that I’m considering leaving him, but even if I did – I couldn’t. Our families have too much projects together. And father wants Kouyou to take over a lot of our businesses once our marriage is settled. Kouyou’s so capable for his age, you know, and he’s all that, president and what not.”  
   
Takanori eyes him, perturbed at the idea that Yuu has to remain in it all due to absurd _rich man_ reasons such as these. “So, you’re not interested in taking over the family business?”  
   
Yuu shrugs it off. “Nah. It’s not my thing. I mean, can you imagine me as _president_? Mother and father would never trust me managing their stuff.”  
   
The blond frowns, not liking how the raven was putting himself down like that. “Well, I think you can do anything you put your mind to. Whatever anyone else says is bullshit. Everyone’s always protecting their own interests. And you have to protect yourself.”  
   
His words appear to have clicked something in the raven’s brain, for Yuu gradually raises his head up, his eyes full of renewed hope. There’s that energy once more that Takanori’s so used to seeing in Yuu, and Takanori’s so thankful to see it emerge once more, despite all of Yuu’s insecurities and lack of self-confidence in his abilities.  
   
“You’re so sweet for saying that,” Yuu says, a smile dancing upon his lips. Takanori feels a smile returning to his own face at the comment, knowing that he has somehow wormed himself back into the good graces of the raven, without even meaning to. He’d simply stated what was on his mind, ‘twas all. “I know you only got mad about Kouyou because you think I’m being taken advantage of.”  
   
Takanori snorts at such an insinuation, whilst hiding his smile. “That’s not true.” _It is._  
   
“Mister cold assassin has a heart, too,” Yuu giggles out softly, and he’s looking happy and very much himself again. Takanori’s extremely relieved to see the dark clouds disappear from him. “You’re handsome, and you’re so sweet to me. You believe in everything that I am. I could almost fall in love with you.”  
   
Takanori’s heart ceases to beat for a long second, forgetting momentarily how to breathe.  
   
“Don’t say stupid things like that,” Takanori says, and he’s grabbing for the glass of water immediately to drink from it, attempting to distract himself from thoughts that _shouldn’t_ be there.  
   
“You’re always so shy when it comes to compliments,” Yuu laughs, shaking his head.  
   
Takanori chokes on his drink, spluttering out words embarrassedly. “I am _not_ shy.”  
   
“It’s okay to admit that you like having your ego stroked,” Yuu teases.  
   
The blond gives him a dirty look.  
   
“Shiroyama, you talk _way_ too much.” _Thank god you’re talking again._  
   
“You love it.” _I do._  
   
“I don’t.” _I think I’m in love with you._  
   
~  
   
Their dinner goes splendid. They’re roaming down the streets now, crossing through alley ways, frequenting the small shops that litter every corner now and then. It’s still early into the night, and Yuu hadn’t wanted to return to the hotel too early, now that they actually had things in their area to explore. Yuu has never been to this part of the world before, and he insists on Takanori showing him around to do a little light shopping. Takanori doesn’t say no.  
   
Takanori makes sure to tighten the jacket that’s wrapped around Yuu every few seconds or so, not wanting the raven-haired to grow cold when it can get so chilly into the night around here. With his long hair gone, Yuu doesn’t have much to protect his neck or shoulders either, and so Takanori makes sure to hold Yuu close, not even resisting as Yuu leans over to his shoulder sometimes and snuggles his head in for warmth.  
   
They’re walking down a rather secluded alley – Takanori’s grip on Yuu tight with every step they take, not wanting to risk losing Yuu to any triad members who may take this opportunity to whisk Yuu away – when suddenly they hear noises behind them, and hurried footsteps that begin to escalate into running. Takanori’s ears pick up on these noises before any possible intruders can reach them, and the blond assassin remains insanely calm as he figures out in his mind the next steps to take.  
   
He doesn’t even know what comes over him, but it’s too late to take any of it back.  
   
In a swift movement, he has wounded an arm hastily around Yuu’s body, and pulled him into a dip in the wall, shielding Yuu’s slender figure with his back. The bandana cloth tied around Takanori’s mouth unravels and falls in a graceful dance to the ground beneath them, exposing Takanori’s face completely to the raven-haired man. Then his hands are threading up through Yuu’s hair, and he’s pushing Yuu’s head towards him, smashing their lips hurriedly together. Yuu’s too surprised to react.  
   
They engage in a soft kiss, one that leaves the raven shivering, and his heart fluttering nervously in his chest like never before. The intruders in the alley way eventually make their appearance, and as they run past the couple locked in a kiss, they turn out to be a bunch of teenage boys simply playing and messing around with each other.  
   
It’d been a false alarm.  
   
But Takanori doesn’t break the kiss until the coast is clear, and even then, he’s reluctant to. He doesn’t recall ever kissing anyone like that, not even Akira, not even on those rare nights where he feels loneliness begin to seep inside of him, and he finds himself longing for some human touch. He has sex with Akira, and that’s it. They don’t kiss, because it’s unnecessary emotional attachment, and it’s too close for comfort for Takanori.  
   
But it’s completely magical with Yuu.  
   
And Takanori doesn’t want to use the word _magical_ for fear of sounding like a lovesick, sappy high school girl, but he finds it completely apt for the situation. Yuu… Yuu’s lips are soft to the touch, and the raven’s warm tongue takes Takanori’s complete breath away. Yuu’s kissing is as gentle as he looks, and he feels so delicate in Takanori’s embrace, like if Takanori gripped him any harder, Yuu might break. And Takanori gets this crazy urge to try, to want to break Yuu, to want to have him writhing underneath him in nothing but pure want and ecstasy. Yuu _must_ be every man’s fantasy.  
   
They part for breath, and Takanori’s almost hesitant to look into Yuu’s eyes to gauge for his reaction, but Yuu doesn’t look angry or shocked or irked at all, no. Yuu’s eyes are briefly intoxicated, as if the mere touch of Takanori’s against his is enough to make him go dizzy with desire – and _then_ Yuu’s jumping up and circling his arms around Takanori’s neck, like an overly excited puppy that’s finally getting what he wants after all these time.  
   
And then he kisses him.  
   
Yuu presses his lips against Takanori’s ones once more, his slim fingers grasping for the sides of Takanori’s sharp jawline. Takanori doesn’t even hesitate diving back into the kiss. Their fervent, hot tongues meet eagerly and twirl around each other, and Yuu’s heart beats to every rhythm. The sky is darkening by the second, but Takanori’s half-lidded eyes – that gaze back into Yuu’s ones ever so gently – has never looked more clear. Yuu has always had a hard time reading the blond, but in this moment he has never felt closer.  
   
Takanori’s breath is warm against Yuu’s skin, and it’s an entirely different experience as compared to when Kouyou kisses him, often more aggressively, much more domineering. Takanori feels… _perfect_. And their kiss may get a little sloppy, yes, but Yuu can feel just how much the blond wants this, he can feel every push and pull and tug in his raven hair. Takanori keeps pulling Yuu closer to him, with their tongues entwining in a never-ending dance. Yuu finds he no longer needs air when he’s with him.  
   
The stars shimmer in the skies above them, and Takanori has never appreciated silence more than this. He can hear every soft cry that escapes Yuu’s throat, and he can feel every quiet moan that ripples through Yuu’s mouth. He can feel Yuu trembling underneath his touch, and he can hear Yuu’s heart thumping madly against his chest. Yuu actually _wants_ this. Yuu actually wants _him_. He’d never thought the raven would choose him in a million years, and here he was, actively kissing him.  
   
Takanori feels an odd feeling of happiness and euphoria overcome him, having never felt anything remotely close to _that_ before. Is this how being in love feels like? Is this what everyone in the world is always seeking for? Is this the kind of love that you end up risking everything for? Is this kind of adrenaline rush normal? Because this is better than any drug that Takanori has ever taken, and this high has never felt so good.  
   
Takanori could have denied his attraction to Yuu before, simply focused on bringing him home and ignore all of his unwanted feelings for the raven; but now that he has confirmation the raven _actually_ harbours some of those feelings back, harbours them enough to kiss him, Takanori’s not sure if he can deny them anymore.  
   
_I think I’m in love with you._  
   
When they pull back to gasp for air, Yuu’s acting adorably shy as he avoids Takanori’s gaze, unsure as to what to say. Takanori finds that he’s speechless, as well, and that all he can do is smile sheepishly to himself, unable to take his eyes off Yuu’s mesmerising face. Seeing Yuu standing before him now, clad in the blond’s oversized jacket and acting incredibly awkward and bashful after the kiss, Takanori feels overwhelmed with crazy urges to pull him into another kiss, but finds the strength to hold himself back so as not to ruin the quiet moment between them both.  
   
“You’re not talking.”  
   
This time, Takanori’s the first to break the silence. And it’s the only time he does.  
   
Yuu notices that, and it makes him happy.  
   
“I don’t know what to say,” Yuu mumbles, almost incoherently, his nervous eyes flitting here and there, never landing permanently on Takanori’s eyes.  
   
“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Takanori says, a chuckle accompanying his words. “You’re just uncharacteristically quiet. It’s kind of nerving.”  
   
Yuu looks down to his hands and smiles to himself. “I don’t know why you did that.”  
   
“Did what?” Takanori feigns ignorance, a smug look on his face.  
   
Yuu frowns, not wanting to seem silly for making a big deal out of it. “K… Kissed me.”  
   
Takanori laughs, deciding to tease with the raven a little. “Oh, _that_? I thought the triad had found us, and I needed to find some way for us to hide. Didn’t think it would be teenage boys instead.”  
   
Yuu’s frown deepens, and he’s instantly snapping his head back up, heavy disappointment lingering in his eyes. “So… you kissed me just to throw our enemies off?” There’s a bitter aftertaste to his words.  
   
Takanori chuckles quietly, liking how obvious the raven-haired was being, looking so dismayed at Takanori’s excuse. He takes a step forward and brings Yuu into his arms, snaking his arms tightly around the raven’s waist. Yuu looks confused, but he goes along with it, allowing Takanori to take him into his hold.  
   
“Did you want the kiss to be something more?” Takanori didn’t know he could be _this_ flirtatious and teasing, but there’s always a first time for everything. And seeing all the blood rush to Yuu’s cheeks with his every word is making him lose his dignity and pride all worth it.  
   
“I… I don’t know,” Yuu murmurs out, and he feels Takanori grip at the base of his jaw and propel it up. Their eyes meet lovingly, and Yuu feels his heart rush into a flurry again.  
   
Takanori’s gaze softens. “I didn’t think you would kiss me back.”  
   
Yuu chews upon his lip, breaking into a small smile. “I didn’t think you would kiss me.”  
   
And it sends Takanori into humoured chuckles, even if he’s not sure why his heart feels so light and his mind feels so clear, all of a sudden. He knows he’s fucked. He knows he fucked up. The very person his heart has started beating for, is the lover of the big-shot client who’s paying him huge amounts of dollars that can secure his retirement for _life_. Takanori can begin partying his life up in the Bahamas after he completes this very mission and never work again, and no one can even blame him for it. And if Takashima ever finds out an ounce about this kiss, Takanori can say goodbye to any potential payment, and perhaps even his life. Men like Takashima don’t take things like – _touching what belongs to them_ – too lightly, and Takanori knows he has crossed a line.  
   
“Well, we don’t have to do it again,” Takanori begins, hesitancy shrouding up in his eyes. He’s still not entirely sure Yuu doesn’t want this to be a one-off thing. Perhaps the raven-haired has been sheltered all his life, and he had wanted to do something exciting and adventurous for _once_ , and Takanori had been the perfect person to try that upon. Yuu would neither risk anyone telling on him, nor suffer any consequences whatsoever; the blond assassin would be the one suffering even worse outcomes if news of this reached Takashima’s ears.  
   
And Takanori’s perfectly fine with that. Takanori’s perfectly fine for being a source of experimentation. Takanori doesn’t mind if Yuu had kissed him simply to find out how it would feel like, and Takanori doesn’t mind if Yuu wants to pretend it never ever happened. He’d keep to his mission, his job, and ensure Yuu still safely got back home into the arms of Kouyou.  
   
“What if I told you I wanted to do it again,” Yuu says quietly, timid eyes looking wide-eyed to the blond.  
   
And with that, Takanori’s resistance completely crumbles.  
   
“Then I’d say you’re pretty damn stupid,” Takanori mumbles out, but he can’t hide the way his heart hammers _so_ vigorously against his chest at the sound of Yuu’s words.  
   
“Maybe for the first time in my life, I’d like to do something for myself,” Yuu whispers, leaning in, and in the next second, Takanori’s hands are clutching up at his cheeks; and then their lips are touching again, the cold sensation of their mouths against each other sending the both of them shuddering with yearning for _more_.  
   
Takanori no longer knows what to do with himself.  
   
And as Takanori kisses him this time round, he thinks about all the times he has thought love to be stupid, to be frivolous, to be burdensome, to be unimportant.  
   
And then his eyes sweep over Yuu’s face and their tongues entwine, and he thinks to himself,  
   
_So it’s you that I’ve been waiting to find._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love it when I get into my writing moods. I'm so fired up to keep writing it's insane. :3
> 
> Anyway, [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXTAn4ELEwM) (years & years / shine) is a huge inspiration for this fic, so I just thought I'd make a quick mention of it. One of its lyrics is also how this fic got its name :>
> 
> Comments are so loved as always <3 I'll try my best to keep the updates going! Friendly reminder that the subscribe button is a good way to keep up with my updates <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a [picture](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bqh_orPCUAEt9s-.jpg) of Ruki in lipstick.

The night passes by in a whirlwind. Yuu takes Takanori’s warm hand into his, and they run down the streets like little doves about to take flight. They stop by the first drugstore they come across, and Yuu roams down every aisle to search for the reddest lipstick he can find. He grabs for the most expensive brand he recognises, and twirls around to grin connivingly into Takanori’s face, looking the most devious the blond has ever seen him. Takanori pretends to give him the cold shoulder, but Yuu whines enough to make Takanori give in, and five minutes later they’re at the counter, with Takanori reluctantly making payment for the lipstick Yuu has in his hand.  
   
They leave the store, and Yuu pulls him aside, excitedly tearing the plastic open and opening the lipstick. Then he’s happily applying it against Takanori’s lips, giggling as he does so, a playful glint in his eyes. Takanori just smiles helplessly as he allows Yuu to do what he wants with him, and when Yuu’s finally done with the application, he’s smacking his lips together, encouraging Takanori to follow him and do the same.  
   
Takanori does, and then Yuu leans over and kisses him.  
   
“Now we _both_ have lipstick on us,” Yuu teases, and Takanori wonders if he should begin tallying the amount of kisses he can rack up with the raven by the end of the day. “You look _so_ hot in lipstick. I told you that you should wear it more often.”  
   
Takanori rolls his eyes at the idea. “For who to see?” He has his mask on practically 24/7 anyway, and to wear lipstick just doesn’t feel practical to him.  
   
“Me!” Yuu exclaims gleefully, and Takanori’s mouth quirks up into just a tiny grin.  
   
“Only if you kiss me.” Takanori laughs, his eyebrows raised, and he’s surprised by how genuine his laughter is. He feels so _happy_ it’s almost feeling foreign to him. He doesn’t ever want to let Yuu’s hand go.  
   
Yuu and him stroll down the well-lit streets aimlessly thereafter, walking hand-in-hand, as Yuu gushes non-stop about how nice it is to be surrounded by such liveliness in a town like this again, when compared to the bare desert they’d been driving through for days now. Takanori doesn’t respond much, preferring to keep his thoughts in silence and allow the air to be filled with sweet melodies of Yuu’s chirpy voice instead, but he still makes the effort to answer Yuu’s questions as much as he can, enjoying conversing with the raven-haired man a _little_ bit too much. He doesn’t know where this night will lead him, but he’s already hoping it never ends.  
   
They pass by a night club that seems abuzz with people and filled with pounding music, and that’s when the madness starts.  
   
Yuu pulls Takanori to the door without even asking, and Takanori begrudgingly accepts that he’s going to have to go along with it, having no heart to tell Yuu ‘ _no_ ’. They’ve been having a rather wild night so far, and what harm is a night club going to do to them? Takanori’s confident in his abilities to protect Yuu from any harm, and he’s vigilant enough to detect for any triad members if he sees one. Takanori just wants Yuu to have fun, and fun Yuu will so have. The bouncer at the door lets them in without much questions, and Takanori wonders if it’s because of how intimidating the blond already looks – or is he giving himself too much credit, suddenly?  
   
The night club is packed. There are multi-coloured flashing lights on the dance floor, but the lights aren’t bright enough to reach beyond that, and Takanori’s thankful he has eyes adept enough for the illuminated darkness. He’s afraid to lose Yuu, so he grips the raven-haired man’s hand tightly in his as Yuu pushes through throngs of people to get to the bar, with dancing sweaty bodies pressing up against the both of them. Yuu’s eyes are wandering around, looking thrilled to be having _this_ kind of fun after such a long while, when Kouyou never lets him go to such places alone; and even then, whenever Kouyou takes him to a night club, Kouyou has a private table reserved for them and their friends, and Yuu is never allowed to venture onto the dance floor to have some fun.  
   
They finally make their way to the bar at the end of the dance floor, taking seats against the high-top stools, and Takanori orders the drink with the lowest level of alcohol in it, afraid to get Yuu too drunk otherwise. Takanori asks for plain water himself, knowing that although they may be on a night out, Takanori still can’t risk it and possibly intoxicate himself thoughtlessly with drinks. He’s here to protect Yuu, and he’d gotten a scare enough back at the motel when Yuu had disappeared to go get breakfast for the both of them. Takanori never wants to experience the feeling of losing Yuu like that, ever again, even if only fleetingly.  
   
“It’s crazy in here,” Yuu snickers to the blond later, downing what seems to be his second glass of drink. Yuu’s already beginning to look a little giddy, but Takanori hopes it’s because of the high of being in a nightclub and _not_ because of the alcohol. Takanori hopes for both of their sake that Yuu isn’t a lightweight when it comes to drinking.  
   
“We should get up and dance,” Yuu says, eyeing the cramped dance floor in front of him, already getting up on his feet, ready to let loose for the night. Takanori glances to him with concern, having half a mind to pull Yuu back and insist on not doing so. But Yuu’s eyes are full of longing as he looks to the dance floor, and Takanori’s weak when it comes to wanting to make Yuu happy. So he gives in, and decides that the best way to ensure Yuu is safe is that he stays by Yuu’s side.  
   
So he dances with him.  
   
Takanori’s not much of a dancer; never was, never will be. He’s not a person who knows how to have fun, in general. The last time he had been in anything remotely like a night club, he had been on a mission, and had shot everyone in it to death. Funny how things change, and how Takanori’s now one of the many people on the dance floor, awkwardly fumbling and bobbing his head unsurely to the music, trying to ease himself into an activity he has no desire to partake in, and is only doing so for the sake of the raven’s enjoyment.  
   
Yuu, on the other hand, is a natural. He keeps his eyes locked with Takanori’s as his body begins moving to the rhythm of the music, his arms fully raising up into the air as he does so, multitudes of soft, excited laughter leaving his cherry lips. He feels so _free_ it’s amazing. There is no controlling fiancé tonight to tell him what he can or cannot do, and the only eyes that are on him are ones that are laced with hunger and thirst, _not_ ones that are angry at Yuu for taking full control of his body. And whenever Yuu’s dancing seems to get out of hand and he drifts further into the crowd, Takanori reaches his hands out and grabs full hold of Yuu’s waist, pulling him back and making sure the raven-haired man remains close to him.  
   
Yuu jumps at the sensation of Takanori’s pair of hands on his waist, liking how Takanori protective and possessive was acting; like a personal bodyguard that can’t ever take his eyes off Yuu. Takanori plays that part very well – hunky, strong, quiet and _very_ serious, and Yuu can’t help but feel attracted to that part of the cold, blond assassin; Yuu can’t help but feel that Takanori’s so fucking _hot_ with how naturally uptight, grim and sombre he can get. Yuu has always disliked how hard it is to read Takanori’s emotions before, but now that Yuu knows that Takanori clearly harbours affectionate feelings for him, Yuu realises everything Takanori does is with the intention of making sure Yuu doesn’t get hurt, and Yuu finds the blond too cute, in his awkward, tense ways.  
   
Yuu smiles up to Takanori sultrily under his long lashes, making vampy eyes and making sure he pushes himself back against the blond, closing in the small distance between them as much as he can. He doesn’t stop moving back until he feels Takanori’s crotch underneath his ass, and the moment they’re in _that_ much skin-to-skin contact, Takanori’s hands are falling to Yuu’s hips in shock, his skin bristling at the touch. He can feel Takanori’s intense gaze on him, too captivated by every of Yuu’s movements to pull away, and it satisfies the raven-haired man, who begins resuming his dancing against the blond.  
   
_Cause I can’t stop wondering if I was too late to see the signs_  
   
Yuu’s hips start swaying to the beat of the music, keeping his head close to Takanori’s shoulder, breathing heavily as he feels himself start to sweat. Takanori’s breath is hot against the nape of his neck, and Takanori feels inclined to _try_ to dance, to move along with the the raven, in a bid to be closer to the raven-haired. Yuu’s so beautiful, under the strobing lights, and Yuu doesn’t even try. He takes Takanori’s breath away completely every time.  
   
_If I could go back with hands up, I’d look up to the sky_  
   
Takanori keeps his hands plastered on Yuu’s hips, and he’s letting slip small groans each time the raven gyrates his hips sensually against his body, and brushes his firm ass against the blond’s pelvis. It’s been so long, since Takanori has given in to such primal desires, and Yuu’s horribly tempting, with how meaty his ass looks, all packed in those tight, dark denim jeans of his, and those amazing, phenomenal hips of his.  
   
_I’d give in_  
   
Yuu’s so fucking erotic when he wants to be, and it drives the blond assassin insane. Sweat makes all his raven strands stick to the sides of his face, but as much as Yuu’s panting, the raven’s not stopping, determined to have his moment on the dance floor. Yuu smiles through all his sweat, eyeing up Takanori flirtatiously through lazy eyes, and he’s encouraging Takanori to grip his hips tighter, and thrust his crotch harder against the raven.  
   
_I’d give in_  
   
And then Takanori loses it. A hand of his tugs at the back of Yuu’s hair, and he’s pulling Yuu’s head aside to meet his lips. He brings the raven into a greedy kiss, feeling his insides burn with a ravenous craving for Yuu. He’s so _fucking_ in need of Yuu, it’s almost tearing him apart. Yuu mewls a little as he’s brought into the fierce kiss, feeling Takanori’s hand claw deep into his hair, feeling Takanori’s tongue assert clear dominance over his own one, feeling Takanori’s body press him deeply into him. Takanori isn’t playing anymore; Takanori _wants_ him, and Yuu can tell.  
   
_I’d give in to you_  
   
And Yuu wants him right back.  
   
~  
   
The hallway down to their hotel room is full of echoes of Yuu’s moans.  
   
They’ve not even made it back into their room yet, and Takanori already can’t resist ravaging the raven thoroughly. His lips descend harshly upon the side of Yuu’s neck, leaving red lipstick marks all over, determined to lay his claim on Yuu tonight; just as he pushes Yuu up against the wall in the hallway of the hotel, drawing out a low, slutty moan from Yuu’s lips. Excitement runs through Yuu’s veins as he allows Takanori to do whatever the hell he wants with him, and his head is colliding back against the wall, moaning _Ruki_ ’s name as he does so.  
   
“Get the card,” Yuu whines, knowing they could do _so_ much more behind the walls of their own hotel room. The raven-haired has been heating up the entire night, and he needs to get out of these unnecessary clothes already; he needs to feel Takanori’s naked skin against his. He knows Takanori wants it, too, with the way his dark, lust-filled eyes have been gazing to Yuu the entire night, and he knows Takanori won’t be able to resist him, won’t be able to hold himself back from _not_ violating his slim, supple body.  
   
Takanori locates the hotel card in the back of his own jeans, and the moment he unlocks the door, he’s single-handedly carrying Yuu up into his arms, bridal-style, and throwing him down the luxurious king-sized bed lying before them. Takanori had made sure to get a nice room for them tonight, wanting to let Yuu sleep in a bigger bed for a change, and now he’s so grateful he decided upon it. They’ll have plenty of space to have some fun tonight for sure, and Takanori knows he’s not going to be sexually satisfied in just one round with the raven.  
   
“You’re so hot when you’re like this,” Yuu moans out, a teasing smile on his lips, as Takanori crawls up onto the bed and hovers over him, with Yuu’s head resting comfortably down against the white pillows. Yuu giggles as Takanori captures his mouth into another eager kiss, tasting the mild alcohol on Yuu’s tongue, slightly sweet and tasty against Takanori’s lips. Yuu’s hands reach up to tug at the front of Takanori’s shirt, staring with much desire into the blond’s hot-blooded eyes, admiring how beautiful those usually so emotionless eyes look when Takanori gets all hot and flustered.  
   
And Yuu means it, he really does, when he claims how sexy Takanori gets when he’s impatient _and_ horny like this. Takanori certainly has strength in his arms, as he pins Yuu right down against the bed, and his legs straddle Yuu’s thighs, unwilling to allow Yuu to go anywhere. Not that Yuu is planning to. He’s moaning as Takanori’s lips trace the sides of his jaw, trailing up to his ear until he begin nibbling at them.  
   
“Keep making noises like that,” Takanori whispers in a raspy tone, feeling his lower regions flare with desire every single time Yuu’s uncontainable moans reach his ears. He loves riling up the raven-haired like this, and he loves knowing _he’s_ the reason for making Yuu feel so good. “Keep moaning for me.”  
   
“You’re… _Nnn_ … so dirty,” Yuu giggles, feeling Takanori’s hands roam down to his waist to push the hems of his shirt up harshly, roving underneath, exposing his skin harshly to the cold air. Takanori’s fingers play with his nipples underneath, kneading at them until they harden under his fingertips, and Yuu’s cock quivers with every rubbing motion, loving how good it feels with all of this foreplay.  
   
Takanori doesn’t stop kissing him, even as he pulls Yuu’s shirt right off of him, while Yuu prepares to do the same for the blond. Yuu has never seen Takanori topless before, never seen much of Takanori’s skin when the blond is pretty much covered in baggy clothing from head to toe 24/7, as if he’s afraid exposing any part of himself will make him vulnerable and susceptible to attacks. But then Takanori throws his shirt to the ground, and he’s topless for the first time in front of the raven, and Yuu has never seen anything like it before.  
   
Takanori’s chest is marked with scars and gunshot wounds – not that Yuu expected anything less – and Yuu wonders just how many close death encounters Takanori must have had, working as a lone assassin this whole time. It doesn’t scare or faze the raven, though. It only serves to make Takanori even more attractive in his eyes, knowing just how dangerous and powerful this man really is, knowing how heartless and cold this man is to everyone, except to Yuu. As Takanori leans down over to him once more, Yuu catches sight of a tattoo on the right side of his back, and his eyes widen.  
   
Fuck. That’s hot. He hadn’t expected anything of the like from the assassin, but it _totally_ is like Takanori to be tattooed. And as Yuu peers over to take a closer look, he notices it’s a lone sparrow in mid-flight, something that sends a warm rush to his heart. He wonders what it signifies, and if it has any meaning to the blond.  
   
“Done staring?” Takanori asks, raising an eyebrow up at how plainly evident the raven-haired man is being. “You’re making me lose my momentum here.”  
   
“Sorry,” Yuu laughs, and he’s raising his lips up to deliver a soft kiss to the side of Takanori’s cheek. “You’re so cute.”  
   
“Don’t use _that_ kind of adjective on me,” Takanori makes a face, even if the little kiss to the cheek made his heart pound. “It’s humiliating.”  
   
“You’re such a fake macho man,” Yuu teases, and Takanori gazes sharply to him in return, wondering since when he let anyone talk to him this way.  
   
Yuu is his first exception, and Yuu might be the only.  
   
~  
   
He eats Yuu out soon after, not only because they don’t have any lube in sight, but also because he has always wanted to know how the raven princess tastes like, and it’s _heavenly_. Yuu’s legs are spread apart, and his thick thighs are held up by Takanori’s hands, ensuring the trembling legs stay apart as he has his head buried down under and in between. The blond’s wet, hot pulsing tongue fucks Yuu ever so steadily with every thrust in his asshole, and it has Yuu tilting his hips up uncontrollably every now and then, his body squirming beyond his control.  
   
“Fuuuck, _Ruki_ …” Yuu’s crying out in short gasps and frenzied pleasure, with his fingers dug deep into the white bed sheets, and his head thrown back. His raven hair is fanned out underneath his head, and he’s absolutely beautiful as he writhes desperately in Takanori’s hold, his cheeks full of blush, his mouth remaining open for the never-ending stream of moans that leave him.  
   
“Fuckfuckfuck, you’re so fucking good with your tongue, Ru, _fuck_ , right there… that’s it…”  
   
And Takanori finds that he is right. Yuu _is_ the object of every man’s fantasy, because there’s no way any man can resist the hell out of such a wonderful sight. Yuu is a complete mess, and his slender frame is so easily breakable under his very arms. Takanori has total control over the raven now, even with just his tongue inside of the raven; flicking it deep in short and hard thrusts, pushing past impossibly stubborn muscles that send Yuu mewling, coating Yuu’s delicious hole with wet saliva.  
   
“ _Ohhhh_ god…” Yuu whimpers out, slipping in and out of a haze pleasure, shivering as Takanori takes his own sweet time to tease the raven _good_.  
   
“So good… _So fucking good_ … Oh, oh… _Oh, Ru_ …”  
   
There’s only so much moaning Takanori can take before he cums right in his pants, and he doesn’t want that to happen. When he removes his head from in between Yuu’s legs and gets up on his knees on the bed, he’s anxiously reaching for the front button of his jeans, followed by the zipper, pulling his jeans right off him. Yuu lays on the bed before him, his weak legs curled up to the side, his heavily-lidded eyes gazing longingly towards Takanori’s crotch region as he pulls his cock right out.  
   
Yuu has to hold back a moan at the sight, and so what leaves his mouth is simply a mere whimper, and the hungry biting of his own battered lips. Takanori’s cock is already standing so big, proud and erect, and Yuu can’t wait to feel it inside of him, he can’t wait for Takanori to take _him_. Takanori notices the lust-filled attention Yuu is giving to him, and it makes him smirk. He spits into his hand, coats his cock with enough saliva, and then inches his way over the raven, ready to lay claim to what is his.  
   
Yuu is riding him a few seconds later, with Takanori’s back seated up right against the pillows, and Yuu’s knees lying over both sides of Takanori’s thighs. This time, Takanori’s the one that finds himself losing control. He has his eyes firmly fixated on the sight of Yuu helplessly fucking himself atop Takanori’s cock, with the raven’s hands planted on Takanori’s shoulders, holding him for strength and as a support. Yuu’s face is scrunched up in extreme pleasure, having always been so expressive during sex; and his eyes are completely shut, and his mouth is panting continuously, producing loud moans and obscene cries with each thrust.  
   
“Show me how good it feels, _princess_ ,” Takanori makes an approving groan of his own, keeping his eyes focused on the raven-haired, not wanting to even ease his eyes shut for a moment in fear of missing even one second of such an enthralling sight of Yuu like this. Takanori’s arms are on Yuu’s small waist, pulling him back up each time Yuu sinks back down against his cock, stuffing himself full of Takanori’s wet, hot organ.  
   
“You’re so fucking big,” Yuu sobs out, almost complaining, doing his best to straddle Takanori as well as possible, clenching his thighs together with every hard thrust down, feeling his inner walls squeeze tightly around Takanori’s pulsating length. He can feel Takanori so clearly inside of him, he can feel pre-cum already spurting out and coating his insides, and _lord_ Yuu feels so dirty and used like this.  
   
And he fucking loves it.  
   
“You’re just going to have to take it all,” Takanori says smugly, his strong hands urging Yuu back up and down against his cock with an increasingly quick pace.  
   
Yuu does his best to keep up, and very soon he finds himself quickly gaining control of the thrusts, learning how to aim Takanori’s cock right at his best spots, learning how to allow him enter the deepest, the hardest, the tightest. Yuu tosses his raven hair to the side as he pants out heavily, working his ass up and down as fast as he can, wanting to pleasure Takanori as much as possible, wanting to feel Takanori fill him up with every drop of his hot cum.  
   
Takanori feels himself immediately go weak, the muscles in his hands loosening as his arms fall from Yuu’s waist to his sides.  
   
“Fuck,” Takanori groans out quietly, his eyes falling shut for the first time. He feels his thighs momentarily tremble at the indescribable pleasure that’s currently running through him, and Yuu notes all of this with a triumphant look in his eye, happy that he’s able to make _his_ man feel good.  
   
“Am I tight enough for you, babe?” Yuu asks this _very_ innocently, staring doe-eyed up to the blond assassin. Takanori feels his cock twitch immediately inside of Yuu’s hole; the raven never stops thrusting, never stops bouncing those two full cheeks of fat back down against his thighs. Takanori’s exhaling out plenty of groans with every squelch of muscles around his cock, intense pleasure accompanying it everytime.  
   
“Am I the best you’ve ever had?” Yuu’s lips are teasingly leaning over to Takanori’s ear, speaking as sensually as he possibly can, his hands slithering in a lewd trail down the front of Takanori’s scar-filled chest. He wriggles his butt down against Takanori’s thighs, gyrating his hips as slow as he possibly can.  
   
“ _Mmm… nngh…_ your cock feels so much better than Kouyou’s, Ru... You feel so good and hot inside of me… _So fucking big and hot_ …!”  
   
Takanori doesn’t know how Yuu learned how to dirty talk like that, but it’s driving him _crazy_.  
   
“I want you to moan out my name,” Takanori murmurs, snapping his eyes back open, his eyes retaining that cold, forbidding gaze. It sends chills down Yuu’s spine. Takanori raises a hand up to grip right at Yuu’s jaw, sounding as authoritative as he possibly can, forcing Yuu to look right down at him and hear his instructions loud and clear.  
   
Yuu is eager to comply. “Ruki…”  
   
“No,” Takanori cuts him short, and then abruptly changes his tone of voice – dropping it to a low whisper, his eyes gazing up into Yuu’s eyes with the right mix of love, and trust, and _especially_ lust.  
   
“Takanori.”  
   
It’s his real name. Yuu’s eyes light up at that realisation, his thrusts slowing down at the very mention of it. Takanori has given him his _true_ name, none of that fake alias bullshit, and Yuu now definitely knows he’s earned himself a place inside of Takanori’s heart.  
   
“Takanori,” Yuu repeats, hesitantly but happily, and Takanori bestows upon him a soft smile at the sound of it. It’s the first time, in ages, that Takanori has heard anyone call him that. He must have spent at least half his life going by _Ruki_ , but he feels like Yuu deserves it. Yuu deserves Takanori. Yuu deserves everything he can possibly gain from the blond.  
   
Yuu’s so thankful to have earned that right, that he indulges in another kiss with Takanori, locking lips sweetly with the assassin. He pulls himself closer and encloses his arms up around the man’s neck, his hands running up into the blond’s hair. He holds Takanori close to him, just as how closely their hearts are currently beating; and they kiss until saliva’s trickling down both their mouths, their tongues _so_ unwilling to let go of each other’s ones. They only break the kiss when they need air, and then Yuu’s pressing his forehead against Takanori’s, giggling as he gazes deeply down into the assassin’s affectionate-looking eyes.  
   
Takanori looks at Yuu like he’s the only one that exists in the cold, blond assassin’s world – and Yuu very well might be.  
   
Things get heated up again pretty quickly after that. As Takanori’s cock is still wedged deep inside of Yuu’s ass, he begins fucking Yuu in short, fast strokes, lifting his thighs in a way such that he lifts Yuu up as well, helping the raven resume his avid pace he’d been in earlier.  
   
“ _Nnn…_ fuck, Takanori,” Yuu moans, picking up his speed, desperate to fill his hole up with more cock once again. Yuu doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of this – Takanori’s thick cock pushing past all of his tight muscles and fucking him in all of the right places, hitting his sweet spots over and over again. It’s as if Takanori has memorised where and how to fuck Yuu _just_ right, and Yuu’s in disbelief at how fast Takanori picks this all up; though he really shouldn’t be that surprised when Takanori’s such a skilled assassin. Keen observation is just one of his many skills.  
   
Takanori distracts Yuu’s lips with another passionate kiss, busying the raven’s mouth with his tongue as Yuu straddles up and down his cock. The blond’s arms slide down behind Yuu’s back, stopping short only just above Yuu’s two bare ass cheeks, then fills his palms full of the raven’s jiggly fats, squeezing them into his grasp. He then smacks one of them with a sizeable amount of strength, knowing fully well that it’ll immediately swell red with the intensity of his slap.  
   
“You’re mine,” Takanori whispers, grabbing tight hold of Yuu’s ass. “ _This_ is mine.”  
   
“You’re so mean…” Yuu whimpers out almost instantly, his lips breaking apart from the kiss, leaving a long trail of saliva connecting their mouths together. Takanori just grins and pushes his own hips back up, angling his thrusts harder into the raven. Yuu’s hands around Takanori’s neck gradually weaken by the second, unable to hold on to the blond much with every burst of pleasure that floods through him.  
   
“Who’s making you feel this good?” Takanori asks, kissing up the side of Yuu’s hair lovingly. Because he may have smacked Yuu, yes, but it was only to fulfill some innate sadistic desire inside of him to see Yuu in sexual pain, and he still loves Yuu, from the bottom of his heart.  
   
“Y…You are, Taka…” Yuu gasps, tightening his arms around Takanori’s back, holding the blond as close to him as possible as Takanori thrusts his cock up and down into his ass repeatedly in a non-stop rhythm. Yuu’s burying his head over Takanori’s shoulder, his fingernails scraping fervidly at Takanori’s back, down past the blond’s beautifully inked sparrow, his lips still parted open in soft moans.  
   
“You moan like such a slut in bed,” Takanori hisses, knowing that he’s unable to hold on much longer at the rate that Yuu’s tight hole is clenching around his cock. “And your body’s so fucking responsive. So tight and _so_ good.”  
   
“Takanori, don’t – _nn…_ say things like _–_ _aah…_ that…” Yuu struggles to say, hugging Takanori tighter as he feels his release coming on. His erect cock brushes up and down against Takanori’s chest each time the blond pushes him up, and his member is beginning to paint a slick, wet trail of cum right up against Takanori’s skin. Yuu feels himself close to tears as he pleads with Takanori to go _faster_ and _harder_ and _fuck, right there, Takanori_ …!  
   
“Fuck,” Takanori moans, clutching harder at Yuu’s waist, driving his hole down against his cock over and over again until he’s practically rollng his eyes back in pleasure. “Just cum for me… Right there… Just let it all out good and nice, _princess_ …” He wants Yuu to break right under his hands, he wants Yuu to crumble completely into pieces and let himself go.  
   
“ _TakaTakaTaka_ ,” Yuu’s chanting out in sobs, almost like he’s in prayer, and Takanori is his god. And Takanori may very well might be, with how expertly he’s building Yuu up to his orgasm, and timing and aiming his exact thrusts to lead Yuu to do just that. With a final harsh grind of Takanori’s cock up his asshole, Yuu feels that final wave of pleasure that sends his vision going hazy and his mind reaching a complete blank. He wills whatever remaining strength inside of him up to ride out the rest of his orgasm against Takanori’s cock, until he has spilled all of it unto Takanori’s chest, painting a pretty picture right against the assassin’s skin.  
   
“Didn’t a certain princess cum a lot…” Takanori chuckles, in a teasing manner, and then he’s pushing Yuu right back down against the bed, holding his legs up high as Takanori fucks his own orgasm out into the raven-haired.  
   
Yuu can do nothing but whimper and allow himself to be manhandled roughly in Takanori’s hands, spreading his legs as wide as he possibly can for the blond, his hands gripping the white sheets weakly underneath him. The raven pants deeply, his face flushed red as Takanori thrusts deep and hard inside of his twitching, bruised pink hole, watching as Takanori eases his eyes shut and curses under his breath in pleasure, basking in the feeling of the walls of Yuu’s ass clamping down around his cock. A few more tight thrusts do the trick; Takanori releases deep inside of him, and as Takanori pulls himself out gently, plenty of milky white cum trickle right down Yuu’s ass to his thighs, making the raven-haired blush at the warm sensation running down his body.  
   
Takanori has never had a more satisfying orgasm in his life. He passes out on the bed, right next to Yuu, takes a few short moments to calm his breathing, then turns on his side to face the raven-haired man, and pulls him into another long kiss. They’ve kissed so many times today, and yet Takanori still can’t get enough of the feeling of Yuu’s lips and his tongue over his own. Yuu is _so_ fucking perfect. Takanori can’t ever get enough of him, and he can only feel himself falling harder for the raven with every passing second.  
   
Yuu’s lips are battered and bruised by now, and he’s mewling powerlessly as Takanori kisses him. But Takanori’s arms are pulling him close, and circling around his waist, and Yuu likes that. The feeling of protection. And the feeling of Takanori making it known that he is _his._ They break the kiss, and Yuu nuzzles his head into Takanori’s chest, enjoying how safe he feels when Takanori embraces him like this.  
   
“Tired?” Takanori asks, his fingers playing with the ends of Yuu’s hair. They smell like sweat and cum, but to Takanori, Yuu still smells like heaven. Yuu will _always_ feel like heaven.  
   
Yuu smiles in response, eyes adoringly gazing up into the blond’s ones.  
   
“That’s the second time you’ve initiated breaking the silence today.”  
   
Takanori rolls his eyes at how Yuu seems to be keeping track, but he smiles anyway. “Don’t get too used to it.”  
   
Yuu laughs, and he nestles his head further against Takanori’s chest. “Should I get used to our kisses?”  
   
Takanori grins quietly at the thought. “Do you want to?”  
   
“I don’t think I have a choice when it comes to this big, bad assassin,” Yuu teases, raising his head up to face the blond. “Meanie.”  
   
Takanori chuckles, clenching Yuu tighter in his grasp, answering as thoughtfully as possible. “Well, I want you to always have a choice with me.”  
   
Yuu’s heart stills in his chest at his very words. They fall into comfortable silence with each other, and Takanori strokes at his hair, his head full of thoughts about the raven-haired. He can’t focus on how he has fucked up, or might have possibly made the wrong decision today, when everything that has happened so far has made him so, _so_ happy. And such happiness has been so foreign to Takanori that when it happens to him, it’s such an intoxicating feeling that Takanori never wants it to go away. Takanori doesn’t want to think about the possible consequences, or how this could all lead to a big mess, or how he might wake up tomorrow morning and find that everything has returned to how it was before.  
   
Takanori has Yuu in his arms tonight, and that’s all that matters. That’s good enough for him. Just for now. Just tonight.  
   
“Why did you kiss me?” Yuu asks, out of the blue, startling Takanori out of his thoughts.  
   
It feels as if his heart is lodged in his throat when he answers. Why does Yuu want to know?  
   
“I don’t know.”  
   
“Do you love me?” Yuu asks again, wide-eyed, and Takanori grows hesitant at the question.  
   
He doesn’t want to let Yuu know. Because what if Yuu doesn’t love him back, and he’s the only one with his entire heart in this mess? He’ll lose even a bigger part of himself, than the ones he has already lost to the raven. He can’t let Yuu know he’s already so weak for him, when Takanori doesn’t have guarantee that Yuu will return his exact feelings for him. Because Takanori can still pretend, if need be. Takanori can still bring that mask right back up, and pretend he doesn’t have a heart.  
   
“Is that important?” Takanori questions back, his tone almost challenging.  
   
Something in Yuu seems to instantaneously change at that reply, and Yuu’s body immediately retracts from Takanori’s arms. Takanori’s heart races nervously as Yuu pulls himself away, and the blond wonders if he’d upset the raven-haired in any particular manner. The raven turns away from the assassin, a look of bafflement washing over Yuu’s face as he stares down to the white sheets, aimlessly fingering the duvets.  
   
And then Takanori realises why.  
   
“So you just fucked me… because I’m Shiroyama Yuu?” Yuu manages to force himself to choke out, his throat tightening at the revelation. There’s still bewilderment on his face, looking puzzled as to how he misunderstood the situation between them – before the hurt and the anger joins the confusion and betrayal in his eyes, the news hitting him like a heavy force to his heart.  
   
Takanori feels his heart tear apart at the very sight; his insistence on keeping his feelings shielded from the raven has obviously wounded Yuu’s feelings, and given him the wrong message as to why Takanori had instigated all of this. He wonders if countless men have hurt Yuu before, getting into his pants solely because of his family name and status, and he wants Yuu to know that Takanori doesn’t care about all of that – Takanori would never care about any of that. Takanori doesn’t need fame, or fortune, or cash, or gold. Takanori doesn’t live for anyone else, and he only knows how to live for himself. His feelings for the raven scare him, and Takanori doesn’t know how to manage any of it.  
   
But he’ll deal with it, if doing so will bring that smile back upon Yuu’s face.  
   
“I… I have feelings for you,” the words leave Takanori painfully, like there are knives in his throat, like Takanori’s delivering news of a death of a loved one. And perhaps he’s delivering the news of the death of his old _goddamn_ self. Because Takanori doesn’t know how love works, and he doesn’t know if this will lead to anywhere, and he doesn’t want to feel so weak and powerless just because he’s in love with the raven. He’s scared to admit, he’s frightened to know what will happen after this, but Takanori realises if he doesn’t ever try facing up to it, he might be hurting not only himself – but the very person his heart has begun beating for.  
   
“What… feelings?” Yuu asks, the anger slightly vanishing from his eyes, now that he hears the pain in Takanori’s voice. He raises his head back up and gazes into Takanori’s eyes, and he’s stunned to see that the assassin’s stone-cold features have twisted into some sort of tormented agony. He has never seen Takanori look so unsure. Takanori’s eyes are blinking furiously, averting Yuu’s gaze, almost afraid to look at Yuu in the eye.  
   
“That depends,” Takanori mumbles out quietly, afraid to divulge.  
   
Yuu has never seen Takanori so scared.  
   
“On what?” Yuu continues questioning, sensing that the blond’s not his normal self. It’s beginning to worry him, and Yuu doesn’t want to put Takanori in any spot.  
   
But he has to know.  
   
The words are forcefully dragged right out of Takanori’s throat. “It depends if you feel the same way about me,” the blond says in the softest voice he can muster, and he’s looking down to his hands, cursing himself internally for having allowed this to happen. He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have made his feelings so obvious to the raven. But Yuu had looked so upset, thinking of Takanori like that – that Takanori had kissed and fucked him merely for the novelty of it – and Takanori can’t bear to see Yuu in pain like that, he really can’t.  
   
“Do you think I feel the same way about you?” Yuu asks, his heart softening now that he realises the real reason behind Takanori’s pain.  
   
Takanori still doesn’t look up.  
   
“I don’t think so,” Takanori answers, his voice croaking, completely absent of the confidence he had before during their love-making.  
   
Yuu’s heart wrenches at the realisation. Takanori does hold feelings for him, to some extent, even if Yuu doesn’t know how much. Takanori has always looked so sure of everything that he does, that seeing him so hesitant and fearful about his emotions in front of the raven – it just kills him.  
   
“That’s not true.”  
   
“It’s fine if you don’t,” Takanori clears his throat, running a hand up to mess with his hair boyishly. “Look, I understand. You have a fiancé waiting for you back at home. And it’s OK if this was just some experimentation, you know. Just let me know. I won’t take it to heart.”  
   
Yuu sucks in a long, scarring breath. “Where is all of this coming from? I haven’t said anything at all.”  
   
“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Takanori’s head finally lifts for his eyes to meet Yuu’s, maintaining a worrisome gaze with him. “Or think that we had sex because I thought it’d be cool to fuck the lover of my client. Because I’m not that kind of man at all, and I thought you should know that. I didn’t do this because of the novelty of it, or anything. I did it because I…” And he simply trails his words off, unwilling to give in and say the very words he’s been feeling.  
   
Yuu doesn’t need to hear a single word to know what Takanori means to say.  
   
“I think I’m beginning to have feelings for you, too,” is what Yuu counters with, almost smiling through grateful tears.  
   
Takanori’s heart rate slows at his words.  
   
“What?” Takanori says, stupefied with the new piece of information.  
   
“I think I love you,” Yuu repeats, clearer this time, with a wider smile.  
   
Takanori’s almost hesitant to believe his luck.  
   
“You do?” Takanori asks, and in the next second, Yuu’s pouncing onto him, and hugging him tightly once more.  
   
“Yes,” Yuu giggles, snuggling back into his embrace.  
   
Takanori can’t even contain his smile, and he raises his arms up to wrap them right back around the raven’s frame. “That… That’s a relief.”  
   
Yuu’s throwing his head back with a laugh. “I see. That’s all you have to say?”  
   
Takanori grins further. “Well… I guess it also answers your earlier question of whether you’ll have to get used to my kisses, then.”  
   
Yuu giggles once more, planting a soft kiss right above Takanori’s chest. “That was _such_ a corny thing of you to say.”  
   
Takanori snorts. “I try.”  
   
“You’re lucky I think you’re cute,” Yuu says, reaching a finger up to poke at Takanori’s nose.  
   
Takanori grins silly to himself, not even bothering to chide the raven for using such a word on him. “I think you’re cute, too.”  
   
Takanori doesn’t let Yuu get any sleep until the wee hours of the morning, and the hotel reception has to call them via the phone to let them know of complaints from their neighbouring room.  
   
Takanori’s only response to that is, of course, to flip Yuu into a different position, and fuck Yuu harder, and elevate his moans.  
   
And Yuu screams out _Takanori_ ’ _s_ name, in every single one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn my updates are out of control lollll
> 
> I think I'm ready to share Redefined's playlist :3 Just like I did for SA, I made a Spotify playlist for Redefined too, [right here](https://play.spotify.com/user/11177336146/playlist/3r14RgYLUTVfv0Q1VTLPaM)! Lol there's EDM littered in it, I'm sorry. XD I tend to associate EDM with a rather unique runaway, carefree, reckless feel that Redefined has <3 The playlist is still rather small – well, 19 songs – but I'll add more along the way as I write the story for sure. <3
> 
> Oh, and the song lyrics in their clubbing scene is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FOBxcluXdk) (pray to god / calvin harris ft. haim). 
> 
> All your comments always motivate me so <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Reference photos for how Ruki dresses like:** [Photo 1](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9647f729ee804398702cd92924a11470/tumblr_ob8b27SfIX1rtf9v6o4_400.png) | [Photo 2](https://66.media.tumblr.com/61bc14f15b83cdee2befabb42b9f55d1/tumblr_ob8b27SfIX1rtf9v6o3_1280.png) | [Photo 3](https://67.media.tumblr.com/0fda993a9ec88e2dcc0fe02941c2470e/tumblr_ob8b27SfIX1rtf9v6o1_400.png) | [Photo 4](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9b91af9c4a1504f59428e246e6bc3e51/tumblr_ob8b27SfIX1rtf9v6o2_1280.png)

Takanori’s different, in every aspect possible. He’s so different from Kouyou, with the way he’s so reserved and aloof, so blunt and uncaring with his words, so intentionally harsh and straightforward with every of his thoughts; he’s different, with the rugged way he dresses, the heavy eyeshadow he puts on, the way he tries to look unbothered with how he looks, but evidently does care a tad bit of his image and the way he comes across. Takanori’s different, because his version of love is cold, tough love, and he sneaks gentle glances at Yuu when he thinks Yuu doesn’t notice. Kouyou, on the other hand, does everything and anything in his ability to express his overwhelming love for the raven, and gazes at Yuu so profoundly it embarrasses Yuu, sometimes.  
   
And of course, Takanori’s different, because – simply put – he’s not Kouyou. Takanori’s everything that Kouyou’s not, and vice versa. Yuu never thought he’d have fallen in love with a man like Takanori, never in a million years, but life has a way of surprising you with what you _think_ you like, and showing you what you never realised you’ve always been missing in your life. Takanori listens to him, and he makes Yuu feel free – and _reckless_ – and with Takanori, Yuu doesn’t feel the need to suppress any of his childish desires down; Yuu doesn’t feel the need to have to portray himself in a certain way, in a certain light, just to make his significant other happy.  
   
And Yuu knows it’s wrong, _god_ , it’s so wrong; and Yuu shouldn’t be doing this. It’s effectively cheating, and Yuu doesn’t want to hurt his fiancé back at home this way, not when he knows how worried sick Kouyou must be. As controlling as his fiancé may be, Yuu doesn’t doubt Kouyou’s love for him to be genuine, and Kouyou does _not_ deserve this. But Yuu can’t help but feel that being with Takanori makes his heart weigh considerably less, and everything inside of him feels light and bubbly, and Yuu can’t help how invincible he feels when he’s in Takanori’s arms, like this. It’s a different kind of love; a sweet, rash, independent, spontaneous kind of love, and it makes Yuu feel like the person he has always wanted to be.  
   
And Yuu doesn’t want to think about anything else, when he’s with the blond.  
   
It’s morning now, and the harsh sun rays filter through the thin curtains, casting light upon their curled up forms in bed. Takanori lies on his stomach, perceptibly grouchy as he hugs the pillow to his chest, burying his sleepy head into the white fluff. Yuu giggles at the sight, admiring the lovely view of Takanori’s back facing him. Fuck, Takanori is _so_ hot. Takanori’s physique is entirely different from Kouyou’s too, of course; Takanori is of a smaller frame, but his work as an assassin clearly shows in his tight arms and strong chest. Takanori isn’t overly muscled – he’s not built like that – but Takanori’s attractive and hunky in his own way, and Yuu has been staring at the tattoo on Takanori’s back for hours now, and still he can’t get enough of it.  
   
The sparrow has been tattooed in black ink, and very elaborately drawn. The feathers have been intricately brushed out, with every single stroke of the sparrow’s wings having been detailed so precisely, giving shape to a lone sparrow in mid-flight. The wings are spread apart, and large for its small body, and Yuu has never seen anything so beautiful.  
   
Kouyou doesn’t have tattoos; Kouyou would never. There’s something so _exotic_ , so dangerous, to the concept of having tattoos in itself, that seeing it on Takanori just enthrals the raven and has him burning with desire for the blond. Yuu has grown up leading his life all prim and proper, and Takanori’s the one flame on a candle that Yuu has never been allowed to touch, only admire from afar. And now Yuu’s entangling his very self with someone he never thought he would give his heart to, and sparking up Takanori’s fire even more.  
   
“I’m going to have to start charging you by the minute if this continues,” Takanori says in a low voice, sniffing into the pillow underneath of him, breaking Yuu away from his thoughts. Yuu realises his fingers have made their way to Takanori’s back once more, tracing past Takanori’s tattoo, his eyes full of awe.  
   
“I, um…” Yuu feels slightly embarrassed, but he can’t help his fascination with Takanori’s tattoo. “I just really like it, that’s all.”  
   
Takanori makes a sound akin to a grunt, but Yuu can tell Takanori is delighted to hear it.  
   
“I’ve been planning to get more, actually,” Takanori says, turning his head over his shoulder. He strains his head back in an attempt to gaze at the work on his back. “I just haven’t found the time to do so. Too busy, lately.”  
   
“Really?” Yuu asks interestedly, wide-eyed. “I think you’d look good with more.”  
   
“Mmm. Is that so,” Takanori counters back, with a laugh. He raises his gaze to meet Yuu’s eyes, and bestows upon him a soft smile, one that Yuu so rarely sees from him. “You’re so cute.”  
   
“Um,” Yuu immediately lowers his eyes, turning shy. Despite Takanori having made his feelings pretty clear to Yuu yesterday night, it still hasn’t sunk in completely into Yuu that they’re together as of yet. He’s used to Takanori’s coldness; he’s used to hostile treatment from the blond. It seems that after yesterday’s events, however, Takanori is finally letting Yuu in to his heart, and opening himself quickly up to the raven. Yuu’s happy to see that – he’s been trying so hard all these while to dig deeper within the blond – but at the same time, it makes Yuu insanely shy, and he doesn’t know what to do when Takanori casts flirtatious grins to him, and looks at Yuu like Yuu’s the only thing that matters to him on this universe.  
   
“Why’d you get the sparrow?” Yuu questions, playing with his hands bashfully as a distraction. “It looks beautiful. I’m just curious.”  
   
Takanori appears to go into contemplative thought. “Hn. I don’t know, really. I guess I figured I just wanted a tattoo, and I didn’t want to get something random like a dog.”  
   
Yuu laughed aloud. “ _Ruki_ , that makes no sense.” The name slips out of his name out of habit, but as it does so, Yuu can tell that Takanori’s not so happy with the sound of it.  
   
Takanori cocks an eyebrow up. “That’s not my name.”  
   
Yuu rolls his eyes with a grin and corrects himself. “Takanori.” It’s only a name, but it already makes Yuu feel so intimate with the blond. And Yuu loves it. Yuu loves tasting it upon his tongue, and Yuu loves this newfound closeness he has found with the blond. Takanori seems to like it too, for he’s giving Yuu approving looks at the sound of it leaving Yuu’s lips.  
   
“It’s supposed to represent me, if that’s not obvious enough,” Takanori answers Yuu’s question from earlier, shrugging his shoulders as he does so. “The sparrow, I mean. It’s supposed to represent someone that values freedom over anything else. Someone that is bound by no rules. Someone who’s the master of his own destiny. I never allow myself to be restricted by terms that are not my own, and I’d rather die than submit to someone else. The sparrow’s, well, me. And I’m content being on my own, and living on my own terms.”  
   
Then Takanori’s eyes flicker over to Yuu’s, and he corrects himself in a quiet voice.  
   
“Well, _was_ content. I guess… I guess things can always be revised.”  
   
Yuu’s cheeks flare up at Takanori’s words, and he bites his lip at the revelation. A lone sparrow’s supposed to represent him? It does make sense, anyhow, what with how much Takanori has been harping on how reclusive and solitary his life is, and how he doesn’t work with anyone but himself. It sounds like a lonely life, but different strokes for different folks, and perhaps Takanori has found peace in living on his own.  
   
Yuu can’t see himself being like that – as adventurous, and as reckless as he may be, Yuu’s still very much a people person, and he needs to know he is loved and adored by many. He wouldn’t be able to stand loneliness very much. In a way, Yuu’s envious of how confident, and in control of Takanori is of his own self and life. Takanori always knows what he’s doing, and he has no room for self-doubt.  
   
“It’s beautiful.”  
   
“You’ve said that for the hundredth time,” Takanori teases with a smile, shaking his head. “You really like it.”  
   
“Of course I do,” Yuu says, nodding with much conviction, a frown on his face. “You’re covered up all the time… I like it when I get to know more about you like this. Even if only in bits and pieces. I hate this whole mysteriousness going on.”  
   
Takanori’s heart does a high leap at Yuu’s comment. _Yuu wants to know more about me._ “I see. I understand, then.”  
   
And it’s so hard to resist the raven-haired when he’s like this; when Takanori sees Yuu with complete defiance and raging fire burning in his eyes, looking absolutely sure and certain as to what he’s venturing himself into.  
   
Yuu had told him he loved him last night, and Takanori still can’t believe his luck. Yuu’s so beautiful a being, and Yuu had told him his heart beat for Takanori the same way Takanori’s heart had begun beating for him. Takanori’s pretty sure Yuu’s the first person he has taken such a profound liking to, in this way, and it frightens him – but also makes him so, _so_ happy. Takanori doesn’t ever want to let Yuu go.  
   
“I like it when you’re like this,” Yuu divulges, and Takanori begins leaning his body in, desperate to feel Yuu’s naked warmth against his once more.  
   
“Like what?” Takanori breathes, sliding his rough hands up Yuu’s bare thighs. Yuu’s eyes remain focused on Takanori’s face, not at all minding the sudden touch of Takanori’s skin rubbing against his body.  
   
“Without your mask. And uh, clothes,” Yuu utters a soft giggle. Takanori chuckles at how adorable Yuu’s being. “I mean, not that I like seeing you naked. Wait – that came out wrong. I _do_ like seeing you naked, but – well – I didn’t mean it like that – ”  
   
“You’re all flustered,” Takanori laughs, and he’s reaching a hand over, to cup at the side of Yuu’s cheek. “What is it that you’re trying to say?”  
   
“I, um,” Yuu’s eyes glisten up to Takanori’s ones, momentarily losing his train of thought once he meets Takanori’s dark, glowing eyes. “I just like it when you open yourself up to me. You’re always… so covered up. With your mask, and your clothes, and your… personality. You’re so sweet to me when you can be, and I… like it.” Yuu’s cheeks are tinged pink when he reveals that.  
   
Takanori presses his cheek against Yuu’s cheek. “Is that so.” Their bodies are so close now, their chests leaned right up against each other’s, and their breathing is hot as it airs against each other’s skin.  
   
“I like knowing _Takanori,_ ” Yuu whispers, feeling Takanori take him into an embrace, with the blond’s arms trailing down Yuu’s back, enveloping the raven’s slim waist into a firm grip.  
   
“You have to be careful with him,” Takanori lays his head down upon Yuu’s shoulder, resting his chin against it.  
   
“Who?” Yuu asks, blinking. “ _Takanori_?”  
   
“Mmm,” Takanori nods, squeezing Yuu into his grasp. “I haven’t told anyone my name in years. For half my life, probably. Maybe more. No one I know knows it.”  
   
Yuu’s heart flutters at the realisation. “So why did you tell me?”  
   
Takanori smiles into Yuu’s shoulder, not quite sure of the answer himself. “I don’t know… I just thought you wanted to know.”  
   
“I _do_ want to know,” Yuu affirms happily, hugging Takanori back warmly. “And I’m so happy you told me. I’ll take care of _Takanori_ , I promise.”  
   
Takanori laughs, then runs his hand up Yuu’s raven hair, and presses his lips hungrily up Yuu’s neck, leaving butterfly kisses against Yuu’s skin.  
   
“You make me so happy, it’s insane,” Takanori breathes, easing his eyes close, lips never leaving Yuu’s neck. “I’m a little worried.”  
   
Yuu is filled with joy at his words. “Worried about what?”  
   
“About how I’m going to have to let you go,” Takanori exhales out, softly.  
   
Yuu’s heart falls.  
   
“Why do you have to let me go?” Yuu asks, even though he already knows the answer to that question. He can’t stay with Takanori forever, and they both know it. Takanori had embarked on this mission to rescue Yuu and take him back to Kouyou’s arms, and there’s no way Takanori will be able to evade the consequences if Kouyou finds out about the both of them. Worse still, if Takanori even dares attempt to run away with Yuu. It’s not happening, it won’t happen, and Takanori’s way too smart to risk his own life for something as trivial as love.  
   
Even if it’s for Yuu.  
   
“I love you,” Takanori silences Yuu’s questions with another gentle kiss to his neck, and then a real kiss to Yuu’s lips, himself.  
   
They fall back down against the white sheets, legs tangling with one another’s, bodies moving restlessly atop each other’s, their hands clawing at their head of hairs. Their mouths are practically attached to each other’s; their lips joined in neverending kisses, their tongues and saliva mixing together like there’s no tomorrow. Yuu’s moans fill the room once more when Takanori finds his rightful place between Yuu’s thighs, entering himself wholesomely into Yuu, his body trembling at the heavenly pleasure that sends his entire self reeling. He can’t remember anything else but the gorgeous sight of Yuu’s face, and his sweaty body shaking underneath his hold, and the very shivers that run down his spine with every brush of Yuu’s skin against his.  
   
They forget time so easily when they’re in each other’s presence, and Takanori knows this is lethal, and he is risking too many things – Yuu’s security, Yuu’s safety, Yuu’s life – in the name of love.  
   
But he can’t help his cold, dead heart, when it’s finally finding life once more.  
   
~  
   
They’re reluctant to leave the comfort of their hotel bed, but they know they have to. Time is ticking away for them, and Takanori can’t compromise Yuu’s safety any more than he already has. There haven’t been any more sightings of the triad that had taken Yuu before, but Takanori can’t be too sure. They might be skulking around the very corner, and so he can’t take any chances. He has to make sure they never get a hold of Yuu again, because they might do worse things to Yuu this time, now that Yuu has left their clutches once. And Takanori can’t bear the thought of Yuu getting hurt like that.  
   
Takanori allows Yuu to do his make-up for him again, though Takanori cheekily distracts Yuu with a few more kisses whenever Yuu leans over to apply eyeshadow unto his eyes, and it makes Yuu pout and huff in response. Yuu is rendered helpless in Takanori’s grasp, and he’s always mildly struggling when Takanori takes Yuu’s wrists into his hands and pulls Yuu right over to his side, smashing their lips together into a wet kiss. The way the sunlight falls against them as they kiss is _pure_ magic. Takanori can’t feel, or hear, anything else but the sounds of their loud heart beats whenever they indulge in such sweet, short kisses with each other. He doesn’t want to lose these moments with Yuu. And he can tell Yuu doesn’t want to, too.  
   
Yuu finally succeeds in finishing applying make-up on Takanori’s eyes after an hour, and _then_ , Yuu lifts Takanori’s mask from the table into his hands and brings it to Takanori’s face, helping the blond wear it. It’s oddly romantic, how Yuu helps to make Takanori up to turn into his mysterious assassin _Ruki_ counterpart; it’s romantic how Yuu so easily crosses from one world of Takanori’s, to another. Takanori is completely transparent to the raven-haired, and he’s just as easily vulnerable for the very same reason.  
   
“All done,” Yuu whispers, wonder filling his eyes as he raises his fingers to brush hair out of Takanori’s eyes. The black mask covers at least half of Takanori’s face, and his dark eyeshadow masks enough of Takanori’s eyes. Takanori has slipped back into being the _Shadow Killer;_ a man that only few – if _any_ – know of his true identity. Yuu’s strangely proud of the fact that just an hour ago, he has seen Takanori in his entirety, their bodies pressed up so close to each other that Yuu can count the very beats to his breath. Now, Takanori has become completely invisible once more. Now, Takanori has resumed to being the silent, cold assassin, the one that rarely speaks, and will do anything within his power to protect him.  
   
“I’m beginning to regret the mask,” Takanori gruffs, his voice faintly muffled behind the object of disguise.  
   
“Why?” Yuu asks, frowning, caressing his fingers lightly through Takanori’s hair. Takanori gazes to him beneath his long blond bangs, and lets out a forlorn sigh.  
   
“It makes it harder for me to kiss you,” Takanori admits, and it leads Yuu to emit a shy, embarrassed laugh. Yuu turns away, avoiding Takanori’s gaze, but the assassin pulls Yuu into his arms, and not before long they’re cuddling each other once again, with Takanori’s hands unable to bear leaving Yuu’s skin.  
   
“We have to check out,” Yuu scolds, pouting as he attempts to push Takanori lightly away. Takanori won’t have any of it, though.  
   
“Do we really,” Takanori sighs.  
   
Yuu laughs, and in Takanori’s eyes, that one smile lights up the entire room.  
   
~  
   
“So, where to?” Yuu says, closing the car door as he slips right into the front passenger seat. There’s no need for him to hide away in the back seat anymore, now that he’s so much more comfortable with the blond, and wants to spend every second and moment of his time with him. Takanori notes this with satisfaction, a smile hiding behind his mask as he settles into the driver seat himself.  
   
“Just a few more towns to cross, and we should be reaching the ship harbour,” Takanori informs, starting up the car as he speaks. “Two to three days, tops. I apologise for the long drive… There’s no other way around it, since we couldn’t take our flight.”  
   
Yuu is surprised by the sudden politeness, having never known Takanori to apologise for anything. But things are changing between them, and it appears as if Takanori is genuinely sorry that Yuu has had to endure such a long roadtrip. Takanori is beginning to express his concern outwardly more and more for the raven, and Yuu wonders if Takanori has secretly been concerned for the raven-haired all these while, right from the very start. Perhaps Takanori has been suppressing all of his worry and giving Yuu the cold shoulder, just so he can keep up his heartless and detached assassin image in front of the raven-haired – when secretly he cares _so_ much more than he lets on – and it makes Yuu smile at the knowledge. Takanori can be so cute at times, in his own awkward, icy way.  
   
“You’re being silly. It’s nothing, and I like being in this car with you, anyway,” Yuu comments, and it makes Takanori smile, too.  
   
“It’s strange having my company wanted,” Takanori chuckles. “Usually anyone that meets me... well, dies.”  
   
Yuu giggles. “I know you meant that _seriously_ , but somehow, it sounded really hot.”  
   
Takanori raises an eyebrow. “Me _killing_ people is hot. Now, I may work as an assassin, but you’re reaching a whole new level of twistedness.”  
   
Yuu makes a cheeky face. “Just take the damn compliment.”  
   
Takanori snorts. “I guess I will.”  
   
Then he begins their drive.  
   
He glances to Yuu every now and then, who busies himself with looking out of the window, his knees curled up to himself in his seat. Yuu doesn’t speak much to fill the initial silence, and it worries Takanori silently, but he doesn’t want to vocalise it incase he comes across as being too needy. Jesus, it’s as if Takanori can’t live for a minute without listening to Yuu’s voice, and that very fact is alarming him.  
   
It’s going to be a huge problem if his attachment with Yuu continues this way.  
   
Yuu breaks the silence with a question half an hour later – though it really feels more like three hours in Takanori’s head.  
   
“So, you’re really going to take me back to Kouyou?”  
   
Takanori doesn’t know if he’s relieved Yuu has decided to begin speaking again, or feel distraught that _this_ is the thought that has been running through Yuu’s mind for the past half an hour. Yuu has remained abnormally quiet, and his face has been passive of emotion, and Takanori had wondered if he’d upset Yuu in any small way accidentally.  
   
But now that he _really_ knows what Yuu has been thinking, it sends his stomach churning, and his heart wrenching.  
   
“It’s my assignment,” and that’s all Takanori says. He doesn’t feel like spilling out the heartache already emerging in his chest; he doesn’t feel like telling Yuu how much he doesn’t want to do it, but knows that he must. He doesn’t know what will hurt more – letting Yuu know how much it’s killing Takanori to know that he _can’t_ keep Yuu by his side, or just allowing Yuu to think that Takanori doesn’t care enough to have him stay.  
   
Yuu’s arms move up to his own chest, and he begins to wrap them around himself, as if petrified of the cold. Takanori looks to the AC, wondering if he should turn it down a level.  
   
“So… I’m just an assignment?” Yuu sounds dejected, already, looking down to the car floor, and it breaks every bit of Takanori’s heart.  
   
“We went through this, yesterday,” Takanori firmly states, trying to not let his sadness show. He has never broken down or gotten too emotional in front of anyone, and he isn’t prepared to let this moment be his first. It doesn’t feel right. He’s going to have to remain strong, for both himself and Yuu, in this one.  
   
“You said you loved me,” Yuu hugs himself tighter, upset at the thought of being returned to his lover. He does love and appreciate Kouyou in his own way, yes, but Takanori – Takanori makes him feel alive. And Yuu has never felt that way with Kouyou, and would never, not in this lifetime.  
   
“You can’t stay with me,” Takanori frowns, wanting so badly to reach out a hand or two and clutch Yuu into his grasp. But he can’t. “We both know this isn’t going to work. It’s not like you don’t know who Kouyou is, or what he is capable of.”  
   
“You can’t tell me that _you’re_ scared of Kouyou,” Yuu says, and there’s vague anger in his voice. His eyes blaze up to Takanori’s ones, annoyed at such weak reasoning. “You’re an assassin, for god’s sake. You have nothing to be afraid of.”  
   
Ah. _Now he’s getting personal._ Takanori’s grip on the wheel tightens at the insinuation, and his teeth grinds against each other harshly. “You don’t see it, do you? This isn’t about me. It’s about _you_.”  
   
“What about me?” Yuu challenges, mad at how Takanori was turning the tables unto him. “If you’re just being a coward, you can just say so! I won’t judge! Just tell me if you value your life over mine. You're just afraid of Kouyou retaliating against you, aren’t you?”  
   
Takanori has to steady his anger with a few quick inhaling and exhaling of breaths. It’s infuriating, how Yuu isn’t able to see the bigger picture here, and is pinning the blame entirely onto Takanori’s cowardice for not wanting to step up and protect him. Because Takanori would, if he could. Takanori wants to take care of Yuu so badly, and treasure him above his life, and treat Yuu the way he deserves to be treated – not controlled and subdued like a trophy wife like how Kouyou does for him.  
   
But Takanori can’t, and it’s with good reason that he isn’t able to do so.  
   
He doesn’t want Yuu to lead a worse off life with him, not when Kouyou can provide for him, so much more.  
   
“How are you so sure you love me?” Takanori questions, his soft voice quivering shakily in the air. “How are you so sure you know the person that I am? What makes you think you love me more than you do for Takashima? Just because I’m, in every way possible, different from him? Just because it’s exciting to be with an assassin? Just because you think it’s _hot_?”  
   
Yuu’s eyes snap up to Takanori’s ones with those very words, the blond’s words having hit a soft spot inside of the raven-haired. Yuu can get so resentful when he wants to, and he shows it. Takanori can tell that he has provoked the raven once again, and his heart bruises at the very thought. He doesn’t want to make Yuu unhappy at all, but he has no choice in the matter. He has to speak his thoughts freely, and not hold any of it back.  
   
“Fine, then,” Yuu growls, and all love and warmth for the blond completely disappears from his eyes. “If you don’t want to believe me when I tell you I love you, then don’t. I’m not going to force you into anything. I’m not going to go out of my way to prove something I _shouldn’t_ have to prove to you. So forget it, _Ruki_. Forget my fucking confession in the first place.”  
   
Being called by _Ruki_ stung Takanori a whole lot more than it should.  
   
Yuu can get so vicious at times. It’s amazing what someone you love can do to you with such simple words, when your entire heart has already been given so freely to them. Takanori holds Yuu in such high regard in his eyes; so much more than Yuu knows so, and every little thing Yuu does, or every casual word that Yuu says, affects Takanori a whole lot more than it really should.  
   
“You don’t need me,” Takanori concludes, his eyes staring straight at the road before him. “You have Takashima. He’ll give you a good life. A better one. A life I’ll never be able to provide for you. When all of this is over, you’ll return to Takashima’s arms, and you’ll think about me once or twice, and think about how nice our nights have been. But that will be it. You don’t need me, Yuu.”  
   
… _Hold up._  
   
Yuu’s fingernails dig deep into the cushions of his seat when he heard how resigned the blond was suddenly sounding. Perhaps Takanori hadn’t meant any ill will, after all.  
   
“That’s not true.”  
   
“Yes, it is,” Takanori asserts.  
   
“No, it’s not.” Yuu grits his teeth, upset that Takanori continues to think so lowly of himself, even when Yuu has already assured him repeatedly that Yuu’s love for him is genuine, and not superficial.  
   
“Really, Yuu?” Takanori snorts. “Because if you run away with me, you’re going to regret it two days later, when you’re sleeping on the cold, hard floor, in a basement of an abandoned house. Because that’s the kind of places we can only stay when we’re on the run from someone as important as Kouyou. And you know what? We won’t even last three full months. Kouyou has connections; he’ll use someone like me, to find us. He’ll find you. And depending on how much he loves you, he might choose to take your life, or choose to take you back as his fiancé, and make your life a living hell after he does so. Yuu… you have his love now. Use it wisely.”  
   
What makes Takanori’s entire narration even creepier is that Yuu can picture every single bit of it – and he knows Takanori’s absolutely right. Kouyou does love Yuu, unconditionally, wholeheartedly, down to every core of his every single bone. Yuu doesn’t think Kouyou will ever hurt him too badly if he ever finds out about Takanori, but Kouyou won’t take the news too kindly, either. Yuu honestly can’t decide what Kouyou will do if Yuu ever runs off with Takanori. The man will kill Takanori, for sure – but as for Yuu, Kouyou might just lock Yuu down in their house forever, and never let the raven-haired out of his sight.  
   
Kouyou has always been controlling, but news of Yuu having an affair with the very assassin that Kouyou had chosen to save Yuu might just escalate Kouyou’s thirst for control even more. Kouyou won’t take such a betrayal lying down, for sure. He’ll be heartbroken, first and foremost; and then he’ll get cruel, and merciless.  
   
Takanori’s right.  
   
They can’t win against his nightmare of a fiancé. Kouyou has too much power, and Yuu… Yuu can’t bear to hurt Kouyou like this. Yuu really can’t. Yuu can’t risk Takanori’s life selfishly, either, just because of his desire to be with Takanori so much more, instead.  
   
Yuu feels foolish now, for having thought it to be possible for them to _even_ lead their lives together. Out of this entire situation, who was he hurting the most? Takanori and Kouyou. Who stood to gain the most? Yuu. Yuu has only ever been thinking about himself all these while, when really, the very men he loved’s hearts were at stake. Lives, too. Yuu couldn’t be so selfish.  
   
“But I…” Yuu’s voice turned raspy, his words trailing off as he lifted his eyes up to Takanori’s. “I… I like the me when I’m with you. You make me feel… feel like I’m the Yuu I’m supposed to be.” And Yuu looks _so_ sad when he says that, his voice twinged with pain, his bright, moist eyes full of sorrow. Takanori likens the sight to an adorable little kitten, one that has just received news that its owner is dead. Takanori’s heart swells at the sight, feeling it ache when he sees how disappointed Yuu looks.  
   
“There’s only one Yuu on the universe, and you’ve never been different, I’m sure,” Takanori says softly, gently, knowing he was threading on light waters here. Yuu was on the verge of crying, and Takanori never wanted to see that gorgeous face drown in sobs. “I’m not changing who you are, Yuu. It’s your personality. You walk into a room, and all eyes are on you. Your smile lights up the entire place. You’ve always been so enigmatic; so… impossibly perfect. It’s not me that’s doing all of that. It’s always been you.”  
   
Yuu has to hold back the tears from falling. “But… But it’s different when I’m with you. You… You’re different. Kouyou always coddles me, and whatnot, and he makes me feel like I can’t do anything without him by my side. But you hear me out, and you have me make my own choices. You tell me what I don’t want to hear. You say what’s on your mind, even if they could potentially hurt me. You don’t lie to me. I… I can’t go back now, to Kouyou, and be contented with my life back there. It just doesn’t feel right anymore.”  
   
And he’s raising his arm to his eyes as he speaks, wiping his escaping tears furiously.  
   
“I’ve never been on a roadtrip. I never knew it was so fun. I never knew I liked long drives. I just keep praying this road never ends, because everything feels right when I’m in this front passenger seat. Hearing you breathe. Knowing I’ll have a chance to lie next to you by the end of the night.”  
   
Takanori’s gaze softens at all Yuu has to say. He never knew Yuu felt that way; felt such in-depth love for the blond. Perhaps Yuu really isn’t lying when he says he _does_ hold feelings for him. Perhaps Yuu really is taking this much more seriously than he thinks, and Takanori isn’t giving him enough credit. Because Takanori finds it hard to imagine _anyone_ , much less someone of Yuu’s calibre, falling in love with him, when no one else has held such strong feelings for him before. And Takanori can’t help but fall even harder for the raven-haired man, when he hears such crestfallen words leaving his plump, supple lips.  
   
“I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it,” Yuu cries out through his throat, ragged breaths leaving him. “I know we can’t run away, but it’s nice to dream about it. I wouldn’t mind it all. Sleeping on floorboards with you. As long as it’s with you – I think I can do anything. I don’t need the luxurious life I’ve always had… I don’t need it at all.”  
   
Takanori glances to him regretfully, knowing he can’t give in and encourage Yuu’s ideas when the right thing to do is to bring Yuu back home, and allow him to live out the life he deserves. Even as a trophy wife. Even if Yuu is worth so much more than that. As much as Takanori detests the way Kouyou only sees Yuu for his pretty face, nothing more, Takanori can’t argue that Kouyou doesn’t provide for Yuu in ways that Takanori will never be able to. Takanori’s own apartment back home is in the bad part of the neighbourhood, and Takanori can’t see himself allowing Yuu to live in such a horrid part of the city. Yuu is used to living in high skyscrapers, and huge master bedrooms, and sleeping on satin sheets. Takanori can’t give him any of that. Takanori’s used to a more dilapidated lifestyle, and Yuu shouldn’t have to be subjected to that, just because of Takanori.  
   
“Kouyou… Kouyou will take care of you, Yuu.”  
   
“I know he will,” Yuu sobs out, frustratedly, and he’s burying his head down into his knees, hugging his legs to himself. “Kouyou always does.”  
   
The muffled crying doesn’t stop, and it pains Takanori so much, the blond decides to pull the car to the side of the road and pause the drive for awhile. He can’t continue driving aimlessly on like this, ignoring the sobbing beauty right next to him in the passenger seat. Once the car has been parked safely, Takanori reaches his arms over and takes Yuu into his arms, bringing Yuu’s entire body into his lap. Yuu doesn’t protest or whine; he lays his head down against Takanori’s chest, and slings his arms high up needily around Takanori’s neck. Takanori holds Yuu close, and breathes in the sweet scent of his raven hair.  
   
And he’s absolutely shattered to know that he won’t be able to inhale in his scent anymore, in just a few more days.  
   
“Just for the record, I like the me when I’m with you, too,” Takanori utters quietly, his fingers stroking through Yuu’s hair.  
   
Yuu’s heart stills in the silence.  
   
~  
   
And Takanori must have said something right, for Yuu raises his head up right after that, rips Takanori’s mask right off, and crashes their lips together. He kisses Takanori, his arms eagerly circling tighter around Takanori’s neck, his fingers brushing up past Takanori’s blond hair strands. Takanori is surprised by the sudden neediness, but doesn’t complain, and kisses him back with the same hunger, the same intensity, as if they were both famished wolves who have been deprived of food for a straight _week_.  
   
Their kissing is noisy in the silence, but it’s like music to Takanori’s ears. They both fight for dominance, as if their entire lives depend on it, and Takanori’s not sure if anyone is winning. Yuu’s ass grinds against Takanori’s crotch with every swirl of his tongue, and Takanori can already feel himself going breathless, and a growing tent stirring up in his pants underneath.  
   
Yuu breaks the kiss for a short five seconds, only to lean them up and press them against Takanori’s ear, to whisper these few sneaky little words:  
   
“I love being fucked by you a _little_ too much,” Yuu confesses, his tone dripping with utmost seduction and sex. And then his skilful tongue licks up the sides of Takanori’s ear, and it makes the man go absolutely _weak_. Yuu’s so fucking sexy when he wants to be, and he knows exactly what to do to get his partner to do every bit of his bidding. Yuu continues humping himself against Takanori’s lap, aiming his ass right against Takanori’s crotch, parting his thighs so widely and wrapping his legs around the seat. Takanori watches him in a haze of lust, then decides he has had enough of being the one that’s teased.  
   
Takanori is grateful he’d thought to pack some lube in the car, now, as he looks up at Yuu hovering over his hips, who is excitedly pulling his pants and boxers down mid-thighs and revealing his equally hardened length to Takanori as well. Yuu’s eyes are blurred in a mix of tears and hot lust, and Takanori hates to admit this, but Yuu look so _fucking_ hot when his face is tear-stained like this, and yet panting heavily with an incredible need for sex. Yuu grabs for the bottle of lube that Takanori pulled out of the car drawer, generously coats his fingers into it, and quickly takes matters into his own hands.  
   
“Takanori…” Yuu sighs out, dipping a finger right down under, inside of his tight hole. Holding in a breath, he pushes his finger all the way, wriggling it past rings of muscle. Forcing himself to relax, Yuu massages his insides with his finger, accustoming himself to the intrusion. Yuu moans out helplessly as he rides himself with his finger, his mouth gaping open as he stretches himself as far as possible. Takanori can’t possibly get any hornier than this. Yuu is just straddling himself right above him, seated on Takanori’s lap, fingering himself tightly, giving Takanori an up close and personal show of him preparing himself for Takanori’s cock.  
   
Takanori’s hand flies down to the front of his own pants, and unzips it, pulling out his own erection. He fondles with his erecting member, his dark eyes intensely staring up at Yuu’s face, taking everything in as much as he can. Yuu’s so fucking beautiful, far more beautiful than anyone he has ever seen, and Yuu’s all _his_.  
   
Quickly pushing another finger in, Yuu scissors both digits inside of him, curling them, stretching his hole obscenely for Takanori to see. And Takanori can see _everything_ , alright, can see how those wet fingers thrust as deep as possible inside of Yuu, can see drops of lube trickle down Yuu’s fingers and down his milky white thighs.  
   
“ _Nnn_ … Fuck,” Yuu cries out softly, jerking his hips when the tips of his fingers graze his prostate, finally finding that special spot that makes him feel so good every damn time. He hurriedly shoves his fingers back in, prodding at the spot repeatedly over and over again, moaning out Takanori’s name each time he does so.  
   
Takanori slides his hand up and down around his own cock faster and _faster_ , inhaling in heavily as he witnesses such a magnificent sight.  
   
Yuu shakily removes his hand from his entrance, and brings it back up to his mouth, slipping the dirty fingers past his lips. He moans around them, licking his fingers like how he would do so for Takanori’s cock, and allows plenty of wet lube droplets to drip down his chin, and his neck, and eventually his shirt. Yuu’s eyes are half-lidded, and in a daze, and he’s in such intoxication Takanori finds that he can’t take it any longer at this rate.  
   
“I want you,” Yuu whispers out, as sensually as he can, and he’s grabbing at both of Takanori’s shoulders, supporting himself as he lowers his body down to Takanori’s hips, parting his thighs widely as he aims his entrance right at Takanori’s cock. “I want your big cock inside of me. I want to be fucked _so_ fucking bad by you…”  
   
“I want you so _fucking_ much, too,” Takanori responds, in a deep voice, his hands moving up to grab at the sides of Yuu’s hips. He helps Yuu gently as the raven-haired impales himself down against Takanori’s thick flesh, throwing his head back and moaning whorishly as he feels Takanori inside of him, large cock stretching his hole widely, sliding in inch by inch.  
   
“Fuckfuckfuck…” Yuu chokes out a sob, liking the feeling of Takanori filling him up a _little_ bit too much. Whimpering at the pleasure of being filled up so completely, Yuu lifts himself and pushes back down, pace speeding up and becoming more erratic as he rides the blond assassin, gripping Takanori’s shoulders desperately to keep in control. Takanori leans his head back down against the seat head rest, groaning out in intervals as he feels Yuu’s muscles squeeze so deliciously around his thick meat.  
   
“ _Baby_ , fuck, you feel so amazing and tight as always,” Takanori praises, in deep breaths, allowing Yuu to do simply do his thing, and choosing to keep his eyes on the raven-haired man instead, watching him intently as Yuu fucks himself atop his cock.  
   
Takanori never imagined that he’d ever be having sex in the driver seat like this, with a man with looks so divine and a body so sensuous it drives _any_ human being insane, but he’s not complaining. It turns Takanori on even more to think that they’re _fucking_ in broad daylight like this, even if the roads are empty and no one would most likely catch them having sex in the middle of a desert. But Yuu’s acting like such a slut, and moaning like a complete whore, and Takanori’s certain that if any other man sees him acting like this, Yuu will be taken against his will and fucked in a heartbeat – no living hormonal man would be able to resist such a ravishing sight, straight or otherwise.  
   
“ _Nnn…_ I just can’t help it when you feel _so_ good… _Oh…_ Yes… _Right there,_ fuck…!” Yuu forces his hips down on him continuously, the raven’s face contorted in ecstacy, sweat droplets running down sides of his face to his neck. “ _Oh…_ Takanori… _So good,_ fuck… Never been fucked so good… _Oh… Oh…_ fuck…”  
   
It’s getting so warm in the car, even though Takanori has already turned up the AC by two notches in a bid to cool the both of them down. He can’t smell anything else but the scent of sex filling the air, feel anything else but the tight walls clenching tightly around him, hear anything else but the whimpers spilling past full lips, taste anything else but the sweat dripping down the raven’s skin. His senses are increasingly overwhelmed, and the pleasure and heat is making him go dizzy.  
   
But he won’t allow his eyes to be distracted by anything else but the sight in front of him – Yuu desperately riding his cock in front of him. Yuu’s slender thighs squeeze together each time he sinks himself down and takes Takanori’s cock whole inside of him, and the aftereffect is _incredible._ Takanori can feel Yuu’s tightness _so_ well, and the tremors that run down past his body. It makes him feel even hotter, dirtier, needier, and his nails claw down into Yuu’s hips so much, he doesn’t even realise it’s hurting and brusing Yuu’s fragile skin.  
   
“Dirty slut…” Takanori groans out, pushing his hips up occasionally to meet with the raven, slapping of skin against skin getting more vulgar as the both of them came close to their climax.  
   
“ _P-Please_ , Taka, I–” Yuu’s cut short by a mild scream as Takanori takes Yuu’s cock firmly into his hand, curling his fingers around it, pumping, squeezing, stroking it, driving Yuu crazy.  
   
“Feel good?” Takanori questions, increasing his pace.  
   
“Y-Yes,” Yuu sobs, nodding his head, doing his best to match Takanori’s pace, sliding up and down onto Takanori’s cock the same time Takanori’s fingers does the same movement to his. “Oh… _Oh, fuck…_ I’m going to cum… _Fuckfuckfuck_ …”  
   
“Cum for me, baby,” Takanori orders, grabbing the steadily leaking erection and fisting it, making Yuu lean over and rest his head against Takanori’s nape, moaning loudly into his ear as the pleasure escalates.  
   
“I’m yours,” Yuu cries out, thick spurts of cum spluttering onto his own body, quickly weakening in strength and slowing down in pace as he rides out his release. Takanori has to continue for him by bucking his own hips up, and lifting Yuu up by his thighs, needing just a few more thrusts to be able to cum himself.  
   
Digging his nails into Yuu’s hips, Takanori’s own orgasm crashes upon him, his vision going white and his senses going blurry. Takanori shoots his cum into the raven’s throbbing hole, gasping and groaning, listening to Yuu’s soft whimpers in his ears as he fills him up with his release.  
   
 _So fucking good._  
   
~  
   
Yuu speaks a minute later, when they’ve both moderately calmed down from their high.  
   
“Please don’t leave me,” Yuu begs softly, and he’s hugging Takanori to himself, burying his head into Takanori’s chest. “Please don’t take me back.”  
   
Takanori doesn’t answer right away; only dips his head down to plant a soft kiss against Yuu’s hair, and tenderly stroke past his hair.  
   
“You don’t want to live my life,” Takanori whispers.  
   
“You don’t know that,” Yuu protests, his fingers clinging onto Takanori’s sweaty shirt.  
   
“I can’t let you live my life,” Takanori says, firmly.  
   
All light disappears from Yuu’s eyes.  
   
“Why does every man that supposedly loves me never let me make my own decisions,” Yuu’s voice croaks out, immensely saddened by his answer.  
   
Takanori’s heart tears apart in that instant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry, as you can probably tell by now, I LOVE writing Yuu ride Takanori. XD)
> 
> Sorry this update took so long-- I've just come back from Japan after attending some lives of the GazettE's summer tour, and it was amaaazing! (Also there were both Aoiki and Aoiha moments, which really made me very happy. :D)
> 
> I'll try to update the next chapter soon. Comments are so loved and encouraging, as usual! <3


	9. Chapter 9

Yuu falls asleep in Takanori’s arms thereafter, his hands weakly clinging on to Takanori’s chest. Takanori has no heart to push the raven sleeping beauty away, and so allows Yuu to remain in his grasp, even as he shifts the gear and begins his drive again. It’s dangerous, sure, but Takanori’s confident he has enough experience under his belt not to get themselves into any car accident, even with Yuu wrapped around him like this. Besides, the roads here are deserted, and there’s not a single car in sight. Takanori’s more worried about disturbing Yuu and waking him up, much more than risking him getting hurt.  
   
They pass through another small town, this one looking much less grand than the previous, and Takanori ends up booking a room at a relatively cosy motel for them to stay. Yuu’s still deep in his sleep, even after Takanori comes back to the car with their motel room keys, and so Takanori takes great care to scoop Yuu up into his arms and carry him to the front door of their room.  
   
He unlocks the door swiftly, trudges in and places Yuu gently down against the bed. He doesn’t make a single noise as he does so. After carrying his own bags in from the car and finally settling himself into the room as well, he locks the front door, and decides whether or not he should bother getting any of them dinner. He decides against it, seeing as how he doesn’t think Yuu will be awakening any time soon, and he doesn’t really feel all that hungry anyway.  
   
He ends up taking a hot shower and crawls into bed with Yuu right after, snaking his arms around Yuu’s sleeping frame and pulling the raven-haired man close to him as he drifts off to sleep himself. Takanori must have stared at Yuu’s face for a good one hour and memorised every little detail of his face, before he _even_ begun to feel a hint of drowsiness seep in, and even then, Takanori doesn’t want to sleep all that soon.  
   
He thinks he finally understands what Yuu means when Yuu prays the road they drive on never ends; he understands why Yuu doesn’t ever want this time spent together to end. In a few days, Yuu will forget him, and return to the high life he was born into, and meant to live out with his rich and handsome beau.  
   
Takanori, meanwhile, will return to his cold, hard bed alone, and try to forget what it feels like to have a heart.  
   
Because he won’t.  
   
~  
   
“Taaakaaaa~” Yuu’s singing voice is the first thing that rouses the blond up in the morning, accompanied by soft giggles that sound like music to Takanori’s ears. Takanori makes a grouching noise, and attempts to strain his eyes open, wincing at the harsh sunlight at the same time. Yuu crawls atop of Takanori’s body eagerly, his raven bangs falling all over his face. The blond pushes his heavy eyelids open to finally come into sight with Yuu’s bewitching face, his playful eyes twinkling with mischief as he gazes right down into Takanori’s eyes.  
   
Takanori’s mouth cracks open a small smile as soon as Yuu dips his head down and pulls Takanori’s lips into a gentle kiss. _Mmm_ … Yuu’s lips always feel so soft; so supple to the touch. Takanori prolongs the kiss a minute longer than he should, unwilling to release the raven-haired’s tongue from his own. His fingers moving up to grapple at Yuu’s raven locks, Takanori only breaks the kiss when they need air. Both their eyes slowly flutter up, accompanied with quiet smiles, as they lay their gazes upon each other once more.  
   
And then Yuu is wrapping his arms up around Takanori’s neck excitedly, pushing Takanori right back down against the bed’s headboard. Takanori lets out a groan as his head collides against the firm headboard, accusatory eyes narrowing up into Yuu’s ones.  
   
“Oops,” Yuu feigns innocence, then lowers his face so _close_ to Takanori’s that their noses bump cutely against each other’s ones. Takanori’s heart melts into a complete puddle at the adorable gesture.  
   
Yuu seems to be in such good spirits this morning – a complete opposite of how upset he was like yesterday. Takanori still feels guilty for having crushed Yuu’s heart like that, making his decision firm and clear to Yuu that he was, under no circumstance, allowing Yuu to remain by his side, despite their strong feelings for each other. As much as it pains Takanori to do so, he knows he can’t have Yuu stay. It’d be selfish of him to agree to it, and Takanori knows it.  
   
Perhaps, silently deep down, Takanori’s just afraid. He’s afraid that Yuu can say so many delightful things about him, that Yuu may _think_ he wants such a life with Takanori, that Yuu thinks there’s all there is to the Takanori he sees in front of him right now – that when Yuu _actually_ leaves his grandious life behind him, and begins his new life with Takanori, Yuu will be thoroughly disappointed. Because Takanori doesn’t have much to offer, no. Takanori can’t provide limousines, or get Yuu that five-million-dollar necklace he wants six months before it is to enter stores. Takanori doesn’t have much, and he can’t imagine Yuu to be able to _endure_ such a life at all.  
   
Takanori doesn’t want to be there to see Yuu’s face fall, when the raven begins to realise this _isn’t_ the life that he had signed up for. Takanori doesn’t want to see Yuu begin to regret his decision because of superficiality, and end up falling out of love with Takanori because of it. Takanori can’t take it, he really can’t. Even thinking of such a thought is already hurting his heart, and Takanori doesn’t know how he’ll ever stand to witness it in reality. He rather have Yuu love him like this, in ways that he thinks he does, rather than have Yuu leave his perfect life for him, only to find out that Takanori isn’t really someone he actually wants to spend the rest of his life with, after all.  
   
Takanori can’t stand to be anyone’s disappointment, much less Yuu’s.  
   
And so, he’ll love Yuu like this, in motel beds and on long drives. Knowing their time is ticking away, and that he will soon be nothing more than just a memory.  
   
“I’m so hungry,” Yuu whines, rubbing his body felinely against Takanori’s. “We slept through dinner last night! Why didn’t you wake me? I didn’t even know we had moved into a motel room.”  
   
Takanori sighs, hands patting at Yuu’s hair. “You looked so peaceful asleep… I just didn’t want to wake you. We can get some proper breakfast before we head back on the road.”  
   
“Okay,” Yuu agrees happily, snuggling his head against Takanori’s chest. Takanori smiles faintly at how needy the raven has been acting; it appears that Yuu’s a very physical, touchy lover, and Takanori doesn’t question why Kouyou is so ready to pamper Yuu, to overly indulge Yuu, to treat Yuu like he can’t do anything by himself. Because Yuu sure does make you want to dote on him, want to take care of him forever, when he’s curling up to you like this. Yuu is Takanori’s many firsts, and Takanori doesn’t think anyone else has ever nestled so nicely against his body before. It hurts to think that the first person he’s given such a large part of his heart to, isn’t someone that will stay.  
   
“I’ve been thinking all morning,” Yuu begins, and Takanori grows slightly wary at the hesitance he detects in his voice.  
   
“About what?” Takanori asks.  
   
“I, um,” and Yuu suddenly looks so nervous, as if he’s a fifteen-year-old teenager, about to ask for permission from a parent. “I _really_ want a tattoo.”  
   
Takanori’s first reaction is to produce a snort.  
   
“You just want it because I have one,” Takanori says dryly, knowing there’s no way in living hell Kouyou will ever let Yuu get away with that one. A hair cut? Sure, hair will always grow back. A tattoo? A man like Kouyou will _never_ approve of such a thing. Besides, a hair cut can easily be argued as needed to disguise Yuu from his captors; a tattoo, on the other hand, doesn’t offer much of a disguise, unless you’re planning to do full sleeves, of course.  
   
Takanori’s eyes glance over to Yuu carefully. Yuu already looks so disappointed with Takanori’s reaction, as if Takanori is just playing it off, and not taking Yuu seriously at all. Takanori’s heart stings at the sight, and he _knows_ he’s acting exactly like Kouyou now. Kouyou probably does the same to Yuu whenever Yuu informs Kouyou of such things, and then brushes the subject aside. Kouyou doesn’t listen to Yuu at all, and that’s the reason Yuu has fallen in love with Takanori in the first place. Takanori _listens_ , and makes sure Yuu is capable of making his own decisions.  
   
“What would you get, anyway? Nothing too extravagant, I hope,” Takanori frowns, folding his arms. Yuu’s face lightens up for a bit, now that he’s seeing that Takanori is showing interest in what he has to say.  
   
“Well… I don’t want to be labelled as a copycat, but I really like your sparrow idea,” Yuu answers wistfully, looking up to Takanori self-consciously. “Um, I wouldn’t get a sparrow, of course, but I’d like to get another bird…”  
   
“A dove,” Takanori knows immediately what Yuu has in mind. Yuu’s eyes brighten up, and he’s nodding his head vigorously, excited to see that Takanori knows _exactly_ what he’s thinking. “A dove, of course. I should have known.”  
   
“It’s what I feel when I’m with you,” Yuu sighs out, lying his head down against Takanori’s bare chest, happy at the thought. “I feel like I can do anything. I can fly anywhere. I’m free. It’s what I want to be.”  
   
Takanori’s brows furrow together. “It symbolises new beginnings, too, and fresh starts. In Noah’s story.”  
   
“Hmm?” Yuu’s ears perk up. “Noah’s story?”  
   
“You don’t know it?” The blond looks surprised. “Well, you know how God flooded the earth and everything was destroyed? After several weeks at sea, Noah sent out a dove and a raven to look for signs of land. When the dove returned with an olive branch in its beak, it was a sign that life would start over. Start again. New beginnings,” Takanori then smiled down to the raven-haired. Yuu simply laughed.  
   
“So, I’m a pathetic raven when I’m with _him_ , and I’m the successful dove when I’m with you,” Yuu teases, his lips brushing against Takanori’s skin, refusing to refer to Kouyou by name. “Is that what you’re trying to imply? I never knew you were religious.”  
   
Takanori snorts. “I’m not religious. I just know these things. You can call it an interest, of sorts.”  
   
“Is that so,” Yuu giggles, playfully punching into Takanori’s chest. “Hmm. Mister assassin is so much more intellectual than he lets on.”  
   
Takanori rolls his eyes, though he’s still smiling. “It’s not a bad idea. A dove tattoo… It’d look good on you.”  
   
Yuu nods his head lightly. “I wouldn’t get anything big. Something small would do. Maybe half the size of your tattoo. I don’t want it to look overly flashy or anything, I just want something small to myself.”  
   
Hesitance clouds Takanori’s eyes at the very thought. “Maybe you should think about it. Tattoos are permanent, you know, it’s not just something you can–”  
   
Yuu’s mouth scrunches up into an indignant frown. “But I _have_ thought about it.”  
   
“Well, think about it a little more,” Takanori says, sighing.  
   
Yuu lets out a sore huff, then turns away from Takanori and removes himself from the blond’s chest. Takanori watches Yuu with a wry smile, never tiring of the way Yuu deliberately throws small tantrums, acting within his right – just like a princess.  
   
“Kouyou won’t like it,” Takanori utters softly, the words escaping him even before he has a chance to take them back. Kouyou has been a sore subject for them these days, and Takanori wishes he hadn’t let his name slip, because if they ignore the very subject that’s driving a wedge in between them, then maybe, just maybe, they can pretend the time spent together isn’t temporary. Then all of this won’t fade away. That what they have is _real._ That Yuu could belong to him. That Yuu wouldn’t slip away.  
   
“My fiancé doesn’t like many things,” Yuu grumbles, and Takanori notes the way Yuu chooses not to mention his name. The term “fiancé” scratches a little at Takanori’s heart, though, and the assassin finds himself flinching at the feeling.  
   
The blond reaches his hand over, placing it over the upper end of Yuu’s arm. Yuu’s milky skin is so smooth, and it further reminds Takanori just how pampered and well-bred Yuu is, as compared to Takanori’s tough, scarred hands.  
   
“Why did you choose him?” Takanori’s voice comes out barely above a whisper. It’s not said in a judgmental tone, no; Takanori genuinely wants to know what led the beautiful raven-haired to judge Kouyou to be life-long partner material, even if logically, all the reasons make sense. Kouyou’s handsome, he’s capable, and he’s wealthy. He has all the connections a person from Yuu’s background needs, and perhaps, it really is nothing more than a political marriage. Yuu’s family has their own businesses to maintain, has their own name brand and repute to upkeep, and Yuu is their only son. Yuu was never going to marry a peasant or anyone like Takanori, not in this lifetime, not when he has been born a Shiroyama.  
   
“I guess I thought I loved him,” Yuu answers, numbly. “And he treats me well, he really does. Better than anyone has ever had… And I’ve dated worse. Much worse. Kouyou… he _does_ love me. I can see it. Feel it. He never makes me feel like I’m anything less. He’s… what I thought I always wanted.”  
   
Takanori can hear the underlying guilt in the raven’s voice, and he knows Yuu understands it’s not right, to be lying in this motel bed next to Takanori, pretending Kouyou doesn’t exist. It’s ultimately a form of betrayal, all for their own selfish gains, and it’s why Takanori remains steadfast in his belief that this relationship… or whatever they have… it won’t prolong beyond the duration of his mission. He’ll bring Yuu back to Kouyou, and he’ll let Yuu live out the high life he has always been meant to live.  
   
“How did you meet him?” Takanori asks, and his fingers have begun unconsciously drawing circles against Yuu’s skin.  
   
Yuu drew in a longer breath. “Kouyou had just taken over his father’s businesses and become president… And my father was holding a lot of business meetings with him. One day, my father invited me over to the country club – he liked to play golf, I just liked to drink and watch – and Kouyou happened to be there. Kouyou’s… very charismatic. I think we hit it off right from the start. Kouyou always likes to say that it was love at first sight. I think it probably was. There’s nothing not to like about him. I’m sure you’ve met him.”  
   
Takanori tries his best to swallow the heart burn that’s in his chest. _There’s nothing not to like about him._ “He’s good for you.”  
   
Yuu seems to turn rigid at his comment, as if he’s on the offensive. “I think you’ve established that enough.”  
   
Takanori’s gaze hardens, knowing Yuu’s acting up again only because he’s being childish, and can’t properly separate his feelings of lust and love altogether. Yuu can’t keep behaving this way; he’s twenty-nine already, for god’s sake, and has to know how to think for himself, and his own future.  
   
“We’ve argued enough about this.”  
   
“I hate it when you say things like that,” Yuu snaps, pulling himself up from resting position. “Maybe I always fall for the same type of men, after all. Kouyou always says things like that to end a conversation. I’m tired of being strung like a puppet to live the kind of life my partner expects me to lead. Who can really say what’s good for me and what isn’t? Who are you to decide that for me?”  
   
And Yuu’s really upset about this, Takanori can tell, far more upset than his usual silly tantrums and random fits. Takanori keeps forgetting that Yuu’s problems may be different than his, but Yuu’s problems are his own, and as first world they may be, Yuu feels trapped in his own life, and can’t find a way out of it. Takanori can’t bring himself to look down on Yuu’s frustrations. The man has every right to be upset, and angry, and defiant.  
   
The blond watches Yuu curl his knees up to himself, and Takanori immediately feels weak.  
   
“I’m…” _sorry_ , Takanori mouths, but the word doesn’t exactly leave him. The assassin has to clear his throat, attempting to force it out a second time, but some part of him holds back. Maybe years of minimising social interactions and avoiding sentiment as much as possible has left Takanori unable to function _right_ emotionally, and expressing weakness so outrightly. He wants to provide Yuu comfort, but he doesn’t know how to, not in the simplest of ways a normal human being should. He knows how to wield a knife, he knows how to use a gun. But he can’t console the love of his life – what a _joke._  
   
Takanori feels completely torn.  
   
“I know I’m in no position to decide what’s good for you or not,” the assassin murmurs quietly. Yuu’s ears perk up. “But I’ve seen so… _so_ many bad things, Yuu. You don’t know what goes on in the world I live in. You don’t know about the things that have made me the way that I am. I can’t let you stay with me. I don’t even know if I’ll get to live another day. Maybe love isn’t about forcing choices unto the people you care for the most. But maybe love isn’t about leading them into, what will eventually be, a dead end, and a lifetime of misery. I watched my mother stay with my father for love, and look where that got her? Look where that got _me_?” His voice is shaking towards the end, visibly distraught, and Yuu remembers he doesn’t know as much about Takanori’s life, perhaps not even a little at all.  
   
Yuu knows for a fact that Takanori’s mother is no longer around, but that Takanori thinks nothing but the best of her. It makes him wonder what has truly happened in Takanori’s history, and if it’s at all related to the events that has made him the cold assassin that he is today.  
   
“What happened?”  
   
And maybe it’s an insensitive question to ask, but Yuu genuinely cares for the blond, and wants to know more about Takanori’s past, know more about his heart. Yuu wants to know the way Takanori thinks, because his mind is still so hard to penetrate, and Yuu has never met anyone like him before, never seen a man so hard to love and be _loved_.  
   
Takanori suddenly remembers he’s showing more emotion than he should, and he wipes the exhaustion apparent on his face off in an instant.  
   
“It’s nothing.”  
   
But Yuu’s not one to back down, and he’s quickly crawling over to Takanori’s side, circling his arms up around Takanori’s neck, pressing his body firmly against Takanori’s own one. It’s too close for comfort, but perhaps it’s exactly what Takanori needs. And Yuu always feels so… _so_ calming, so tender, so warm. Takanori can’t help but press Yuu closer to him.  
   
“Let me in,” Yuu whispers, his moonlit eyes looking the most dazzling they’ve ever been.  
   
It’s a temporary moment of weakness, and Takanori allows it, all for Yuu alone.  
   
“My father was a gambler,” Takanori starts, tiredly. Yuu hums along to his words.  
   
“For as long as I’ve known. He was very absent from my life, as a child… So all I had was my mother. The only times I saw him come home to speak to my mother was when he needed money. He’d take everything my mother had saved in our biscuit tin. We lived in the bad neighbourhood, so I wasn’t very often let out. I went to school until my mother couldn’t afford the fees anymore. That was around when the debts were piling up faster than we could pay them off. My father would borrow from illegal moneylenders who would seek payment from our house. Eventually, my mother had to quit her dishwasher job. It just wasn’t enough to pay off our debts.”  
   
Yuu isn’t surprised by the tragic backstory Takanori seems to have, but it still hurts him on the inside all the same. Yuu’s parents may be wealthy and financially successful, but they never let that get in their way of caring for Yuu. Yuu was always severely doted upon, and loved, and always taken out everywhere to accompany them. His father never pressured Yuu to follow in his footsteps because he never wanted Yuu to do anything he wasn’t passionate about, and his mother always showed Yuu off to all of her socialite friends and acquaintances, immensely proud of the cultured and gorgeous son she’d born and bred herself. Even up till now, his parents make it a priority to schedule frequent family lunch and dinner dates, and have taken upon it themselves to invite Kouyou along as well, happy to add Yuu’s fiancé into the equation. Yuu couldn’t imagine having distant parents who cared more for their interests than their child, and knew he was luckier than most out there.  
   
“He doesn’t sound like a good father,” Yuu comments, and he’s brushing the stray blond strands away at the sides of Takanori’s face.  
   
“No, not really,” Takanori frowns at the thought. “So… So my mother had to take the easy way out, I guess. She begun… selling her body.”  
   
The realisation hits Yuu faster than his heart breaks apart.  
   
_My mother used to let me watch her do her make-up all the time. She did it every morning without fail. She always made sure she looked her best. She has never fallen short of perfection._  
   
And all of the pieces begin to make perfect sense.  
   
“In the house we lived in, too, just in case you didn’t already think the situation was fucked up as it was,” Takanori managed a dry chuckle. Yuu frowned. “I often sat in the living room, outside her bedroom, confused as to why so many stranger men were walking in and out of our house. Some held guns, too. Others, drugs. Many of them were in gangs. Soon, my mother realised it probably wasn’t healthy for me to witness such a scene, so she made me play outside nearby until she was done. I spent… a lot of days alone, I guess. There was a run-down bookstore nearby, so sometimes the owner took pity on me and let me read for free. I didn’t have much friends, if any, at all. People didn’t let their children roam in these parts of the neighbourhood.”  
   
Yuu pictures a younger, chubbier Takanori, spending his days walking the dangerous streets alone. Yuu doesn’t know how to feel about that.  
   
“Anyway,” Takanori tries his best to cut to the chase. “It was always a struggle to pay our debts on time. My mother always got hit, and sexually abused, when we were late. One day, my mother just… couldn’t. We had too little, and there was too much. My mother probably knew it was coming. She sent me on an errand that day, off to get some rice and tofu from the mart down our street. I didn’t know the debt collectors were coming that day. I was happy to be given something to do, to finally be seen as useful. I never really had much to occupy myself with those days. And when I came back home…”  
   
Harrowing dread fills Yuu’s eyes as he clutches his fingernails deeper into Takanori’s shirt. _She must have been dead._  
   
“Yuu, you’re choking me,” Takanori rolls his eyes, amused by how intense Yuu has gotten, listening to his lifestory.  
   
“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Yuu murmurs, his voice trembling, horror splashed across his face. Takanori feels his gut twist at the sight; Yuu looks more than affected at the thought of a young him coming across his mother’s dead body. But it’s the truth, and it’s his life, and Takanori isn’t going to pretend it didn’t happen. Because it did. And it made him the person he is today.  
   
“She had been left for dead,” Takanori finishes, and Yuu is _devastated_. Takanori has to make sure those aren’t _tears_ in Yuu’s sparkling eyes, and a small part of Takanori is comforted by the sight of Yuu caring so much for him. What Takanori would give to have been given some care and concern when he’d most needed it back then…  
   
“They killed her?” Yuu chokes out, terrified at the prospect, his breath uneven. Takanori presses Yuu closer into him at the sight.  
   
“Raped, then killed her,” Takanori breathes. “But it’s okay, Yuu. It happened a long time ago. I’ll never forget the sight of her limp, lifeless body – looking as beautiful as the mother that has always tried to give me the best life she could. Of course, seeing something like that changed me. I must have only been around ten. I was upset for a long time, and I thought for so long that there would be justice, and something, someone, would pull me out of this mess. But nothing did. I was left alone, to starve, to fend for myself. And my father… Well, he never came back. I can only imagine he went on the run, and was eventually found and murdered, too.”  
   
“I’m so _sorry_ ,” Yuu blubbs out, shaking his head, and Takanori resists the urge to tear, himself. He hasn’t even told Akira about his parents – Akira had never questioned Takanori’s assassin background – and Yuu’s the only person he’s ever had to divulge such a personal, and painful part of his past, to. Takanori didn’t think he would be affected by the retelling of his story, but it seemed the ache of the death of his mother never went away.  
   
“So I stopped waiting for justice to be served. And decided that if I ever wanted justice, it would have to be administered myself. I had to take charge of my own life and its consequences, you know? So I did the odd jobs. Worked as an assistant to a butcher for a while, and learned my way around a knife. I saved enough for a gun, and purchased it illegally. I knew a kid was never going to overpower a bunch of adults, so I had to train myself. And practice. I made friends with gun dealers. Hung out with people who could fight. I grew obsessive. I drew maps of the hideouts those illegal moneylenders resided in, and made sure I knew every inch and detail of how they worked. I stalked them around, made notes of their strengths and weaknesses. Years kept passing until I felt I was ready.”  
   
“And then you killed them?” Yuu asks, hopeful, his eyes brightly shimmering up into Takanori’s ones.  
   
Takanori has to resist a smile at how optimistic Yuu looks.  
   
“I did.”  
   
Yuu nods his head, sinking it deep into Takanori’s chest. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know.”  
   
“I didn’t say.”  
   
“I should have been more sensitive,” Yuu mumbles, guilt-stricken at the thought of all the carelessly made remarks he’d thrown Takanori’s way.  
   
_Why do you fall into the cliché stereotype of a cold, tough assassin who pretends he doesn’t care but secretly has feelings, too? What sad past do you have that made you out to be this way?_  
   
“It’s fine, Yuu.” Takanori brushes it off. His fingers move to wipe at Yuu’s eyes, admiring the way they glisten under his touch.  
   
“Is that… Is that how you got into this business?” Yuu asks, apprehensive, his eyes flickering back up to the blond.  
   
Takanori shrugs. “I was sought out by their rival gang… They were impressed at how I so easily snuck into their enemies’ hideout and wiped their enemies off the map. So I got offered a job; to work for them. I learned more with every task I was assigned, and worked for them for a few more years until their gang disbanded. By then I had made a name for myself, so I stuck with it. I always preferred working alone, anyway, I never requested for any partners, even back when I worked for the gang. And… I guess I’m getting older, now, and I’ve been thinking of retiring from it all.”  
   
Yuu stares at him with wide eyes. “Am… Am I your last mission?”  
   
Takanori goes silent. He hadn’t thought of it that way. But with all things considered… It may very well be.  
   
“Perhaps.”  
   
And that’s when it all sinks in.  
   
“Kouyou will give you a large sum of money,” Yuu’s eyes falter. “I know he will. It could last you a lifetime. You could… do anything you ever wanted. Everything you’ve been deprived of. Migrate to somewhere else… Buy a big house. Several cars. Live out the dream.”  
   
Takanori glances away. “I don’t know what I’ll do yet. I’ll get to it when I have to.”  
   
Yuu chews on his lip, hesitant. “But you can’t have _those_ if you choose to have me.”  
   
Takanori frowns, perturbed at the thought. “I’m not pushing you away just because I want a retirement fund, Yuu. Besides, I have my own savings. Frankly speaking, I needn’t have taken this job and would still have enough to retire, anyway.”  
   
“I know,” Yuu whispers, stricken. How is it possible for someone to still look so beautiful when they’re so sad?  
   
“I just… I just realised something.”  
   
Takanori’s heart swells, fearing the worst. “What?”  
   
Yuu smiles through his tears, and raises his head to kiss the side of the blond’s jaw lovingly. Takanori knows what is to come, but it doesn’t mean he can stop his heart from breaking, still.  
   
“I can’t take your life away from you,” Yuu whispers, with heart. “You deserve it, after all you’ve been through.”  
   
And Takanori realises Yuu has got it all wrong; that Yuu thinks Takanori dreams of the Bahamas, that Takanori dreams of rich vacations, that Takanori dreams of a life away from this place, away from here; and a part of him wants to badly to let the raven-haired know –  
   
_but you’re the only Thing that gives me life, and I deserve You, after all I’ve been through_  
   
– but he doesn’t.  
   
Because Yuu is finally letting him go.  
   
“I’ll make sure Kouyou gives you what you deserve,” Yuu promises, determinedly, and Takanori wills himself to remain strong, as he watches every resolve Yuu once had to stay with Takanori… melt right away before his very eyes.  
   
Yuu _will_ do this for Takanori; Yuu will use the power and love he holds over his rich fiancé to take care of Takanori, Yuu will let Takanori live out the life he _needs_ to, after having everything be stolen from him since he was a young child. Yuu will no longer be selfish and refuse to part from Takanori’s side just because he wants to. Because staying with Takanori means that they’ll be on the run from Kouyou, and that’s not the kind of life Takanori deserves. Takanori doesn’t need to live in constant fear again; Yuu won’t make Takanori live through that once more.  
   
Takanori doesn’t say a single word. Their lips meet, they kiss, and Yuu’s tears vanish.  
   
“You’re right,” Yuu says resolutely, awhile later, when they’re back on the road. “Love isn’t about forcing choices unto the people you care for the most. But maybe love isn’t about leading them into, what will eventually be, a dead end, and a lifetime of misery, either.”  
   
And Takanori wonders if he has got it all wrong, right from the very start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Takanori's made to go through a wide array of conflicting emotions -- _I can't have him stay with me and yet I want him to want me so much to stay_ \-- and I think that's evident here.
> 
> Either way, it's a shit position to be in... I think he knows it's for the best if Yuu doesn't stay, though. Yuu's naivety is so, sooo adorable (and heartbreaking. but I settle for adorable). I think I also wanted to make it known that Yuu still doesn't think too badly of Kouyou-- he does acknowledge that Kouyou loves him, and I believe Yuu still loves him in his own way, too.
> 
> Sorry this chapter was just more talking... There'll be more action in the next chapter, and (hopefully, if my writing doesn't drag) new characters will be introduced. Sorry for the late update, by the way, but I'm not abandoning this fic! Going to make this a priority for now. Happy new year!
> 
> P.S. Comments are loved !!!


	10. Chapter 10

His luck runs out the very next day.  
   
Takanori always knew it was bound to happen, one of these days. He had just been hoping it wouldn’t happen when he was still with Yuu; he hadn’t wanted to put Yuu into any possible danger.  
   
They were so close to where they needed to be. So, _so_ close. Just miles away from the ship harbour, where Takanori would have been able to purchase tickets for home, sweet home. Determined to give Yuu a proper meal before they headed off for their final destination, Takanori had parked the car opposite a breakfast diner, where they strolled in thereafter and chose a nice table just by the glass windows. Yuu had been in a good mood; still a little solemn from their previous conversations, but much better now that he’d convinced himself that the choices they were making were right. And as much as it pained Takanori, Takanori knew this was the right path to take. Yuu and him were never meant to be.  
   
That still didn’t mean they couldn’t cherish the time left with each other, though. Yuu was back to his cheeky, flirtatious self, laughing at every small thing Takanori said, sipping small amounts from his coffee as he eyed the blond assassin through fluttering long lashes. Takanori was back to his stiff, grunting self, occasionally breaking a smile only when he couldn’t bear it anymore. The rest of the diner was quiet, with only a few tables occupied by elderly ship workers who were stationed nearby. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and it felt like nothing could ever destroy them. Perhaps in another life – Takanori liked to fantasise – Takanori spent many of his days like these with Yuu, simply chatting and basking in each other’s presence, with nothing else holding them back from being with each other. Perhaps they had met in more normal circumstances, like in school, or at work. Perhaps Yuu wasn’t so far away, so unattainable. Perhaps Takanori had a better job, better education. Perhaps Yuu could even be his wife. Takanori busied himself with impossible thoughts as Yuu engaged in conversation animatedly towards him, sunlight reflecting off the raven’s dark, pristine eyes; his cherry red lips curved into the sweetest smile.   

_BAM_  

And suddenly the fantasies completely disappear.  
   
He hears the deafening sound of a stray bullet grazing the glass panels surrounding the diner, and his body reacts instinctively even before his heart does. He’s been trained most of his life for situations like these – and everything that happens in due course is based on instinct. Takanori reaches an arm over to grab at the back of Yuu’s head, forcefully pulling him down under the table, pushing Yuu immediately to the floor. Their fresh coffee is spilt, all of their plates tumbling to the floor in a crash. Everything after that is in a disarray. Patrons of the diner are shouting and yelling at the sight of an imminent attack, tables and chairs fall, and people run off into every possible direction to take cover. _Wrong move._ Takanori pulls Yuu along the ground, forcing Yuu into a crawling position, and doesn’t hesitate for a single second as he pushes Yuu before him, leading him to behind the bar, where several staff members are already cowering under. Takanori grabs for the several fallen tables nearby and uses it as shields, covering Yuu purposefully with them. He does all of this with adrenaline running through his veins, knowing he can’t waste a single second in securing Yuu’s protection. 

_BAM BAM_  

Two more bullets penetrate the windows, shattering even more glass, and are indicative that the perpetrators are surrounding the place. Yuu is utterly gripped with fear, and Takanori only notices Yuu is uncontrollably trembling when the blond finally lays his eyes upon him and sees the pale face of his beloved.  
   
“They’ve found me,” Yuu whispers shakily, frightened at the thought, and Takanori’s heart lurches at the heartbreaking sight. He remembers what Kouyou said about all of these being completely new to Yuu; that Yuu isn’t familiar with the underworld, and that he’s bound to frightened by things like these. “They’re going to take me.”  
   
“No, they’re not,” Takanori affirms, just as he holds Yuu by his two shoulders and looks to him sternly in the eye. “And I’m not going to let them take you. Wait for me here.”  
   
He withdraws a pistol from the back of his pants, and Yuu whimpers at the knowledge of what is to come.  
   
“Please don’t leave me,” Yuu begs, a hand reaching out to encircle weakly around Takanori’s arm. “ _Please_ please _please_ –”  
   
“This won’t take me five minutes,” Takanori promises, relaxing his tone now that he realises Yuu is just overcome with fear. “I’m trained to do this. I’ll come back for you.”  
   
“I love you,” Yuu manages to say through misty eyes, his throat choked up with fear.  
   
Takanori pauses for a second, momentarily stunned by Yuu’s expression of love, and then hastily pulls his mask off to lean over and capture Yuu’s lips in a soft kiss. It’s a strange thing to do, and Takanori has never had to provide such comfort and assurance before the beginning of a mission. He suddenly realises Yuu is afraid he won’t come back; that Yuu cares for his well-being, and that no one has ever so readily expressed such sentiment for him before. Takanori has never embarked on his missions knowing he will be ‘missed’. Takanori has never had so strong a reason to fear death before.  
   
He has now.  
   
Takanori places his mask back on, pulls the slide back on his handgun to check for the catridge, then gets up from his kneeling position on the ground and stands up from the bar, preparing to fire. He jumps and slides over the counter, gun in hand, cocked and waiting for intruders. The place has uncharacteristically gone silent, and Takanori knows the perpetrators must be lurking in any corner now. Then he hears an odd, rustling movement from a distance, and spins on his heels, ready to shoot.  
   
The first bullet that flies through the air barely misses his shoulder. Men, attired just like the gang that had first captured Yuu, file in through the smashed glass panels, and Takanori feels the trepidation begin to build up inside of him as they try to surround him.  
   
And then the assassin fires. Shoots a man straight through the head, guaranteeing his death. The bloodlust fills him up in an instant, and Takanori cracks his neck, having almost forgotten how sweet victory feels. He’d spent so long a time babying a rich heir, and falling in love, that he almost forgets what his hands have always been meant to do. He re-positions his body, and fires again, this time hitting a man through a deadly spot in his neck. Re-angles himself – fires _again_. Takanori’s speed is swift, unhesitating, and instant. And soon he’s blasting off more bullets into every single man that tries to have him surrounded, going straight for the heart, firing non-stop, until bodies drop-dead and litter the ground like they’re worth _nothing_. The men shout frantic orders out to each other in Chinese, realising they’d severely underestimated the assassin they were tasked to take down.  
   
Takanori almost laughs at their surprise. These men are bigger, taller, and hold larger guns, but most of them are young, and Takanori has been doing this for almost the entirety of his life. Takanori’s stature is also to his own personal advantage, because he effectively ducks and slides away to evade their carelessly wasted bullets, while his enemies fail to do so. When his own bullets run out, he pulls the gun off the nearest dead body, and jumps onto the nearest coffee table to ready for further attacks.  
   
Yuu can’t see anything from where he’s hiding; he can only hear the non-stop firing of bullets, and it terrifies him. He has never been a fan of guns, and this must be the closest he has been to a firing zone, where he hears attacks so crudely exchanged, and hears what must be constant blood spilling all over and everywhere. He muffles his ears with his hands and hopes for the best, only listening attentively to hear for Takanori’s discernible voice. So far, he hasn’t heard anything that might indicate Takanori being hurt, and he’s relieved for that. He knows Takanori must be a good assassin – Kouyou is very picky with his choices – and that must be why he has been employed to protect Yuu, but Yuu still can’t be too sure. Because Takanori isn’t just an assassin, at this rate, _no_ , Takanori has taken over many places in Yuu’s heart, and Yuu doesn’t know what he’ll do with himself if he’s the reason Takanori loses his life. Yuu has to see that handsome, grumpy face again…  
   
The gunshots feel like they’ve gone on forever, but when Takanori is finally done with them, it feels like it’s been too long since he has gone on a killing spree like _that_. It’s almost sick, how much Takanori revels in this feeling of _power_ , but it’s the only thing Takanori has in his life that makes it seem like it’s worth living. Takanori exhales when the last man drops easily to the ground, his fresh red blood pooling with all the others lying next to him. He jumps off the coffee table, picks up his own shotgun again, refills it with the bullets since he hadn’t time to do so before, and stuffs it back into his pants. It’s done. Yuu’s safe. Takanori has once again done his job, and he’ll take Yuu away from this place and get them away from anyone who threatens to hurt Yuu again.  
   
“Is it over?” Yuu’s voice is but a soft whisper, his head nervously darting out from behind the counter. Takanori trudges slowly back to where Yuu is hiding, and nods his head, a small smile on his lips. Yuu breathes out a sigh of relief, and he readies himself to move to Takanori. Then – 

_BAM_

Yuu watches shock immediately engulf Takanori’s face, before the blond assassin gazes back down to his own leg, where a bullet is now lodged within. He… _got shot_? Yuu has to hold back his sob as he sees Takanori sway unceremoniously to his side, his legs quickly giving way, falling heavily to the ground. Blood starts streaking down his leg in plentiful amounts, and Takanori is hissing badly in pain, having never thought he’d risk getting shot in this mess. The raven-haired is running to his side anxiously, despite yells from Takanori telling Yuu to stay in his corner.  
   
“Yuu, go, _now_!” Takanori shouts, still unsure if the unexpected bullet was from an alive perpetrator. Takanori can make do with a leg wound – he’s survived even worse before, and he will survive this. Yuu, though, he can’t guarantee. Yuu won’t budge, though, because he’s never seen someone he loves in so much pain, and he’s so, _so_ scared that if he doesn’t stay to help, Takanori may not survive this.  
   
“You’re bleeding,” Yuu blubbers through his tears, pulling Takanori into his arms. “You need help.”  
   
“I need you to stay _alive_ ,” Takanori curses, even if his heart is wrenching at how worried Yuu seems to be for him. “Yuu, I’ll be OK. I need you to leave… Nothing will happen to me, I’m trained for this, remember?”  
   
“I’m not going to leave you,” Yuu says stubbornly, and that’s when they hear the cocking sound of a gun. Takanori tenses up at the noise, knowing very clearly what is to come next from his experience.  
   
Yuu spots _him_ faster than Takanori does. A man on the verge of death, a bullet lodged in his chest, lying several bodies away from them, a gun weakly held in his hand. His aim is shaky, and that explains why he’d missed Takanori’s vital points and ended up firing at his leg instead. He has his gun raised towards Takanori’s back, aiming for the kill this second time.  
   
_Oh no, you don’t._  
   
Yuu doesn’t have another second to waste. He can choose to hesitate because of his fear, and he can risk losing Takanori because of this one rookie mistake. Yuu knows what he has to do. He doesn’t pause to think; he doesn’t even debate the potential moral consequences of his action. Yuu reaches immediately for the handgun visible in Takanori’s back pocket, pulls it right out, and despite knowing he has little to zero clue as to what he’s doing, he aims the gun right at the man’s head and fires, hoping he doesn’t miss.

_BAM!_  

He doesn’t. It’s a perfect, straight hit. The man’s head explodes in sweet, bloody revenge, and the stony, passionless look in Yuu’s eyes don’t leave him, not until Yuu has savoured the following seconds of deserved vengeance. Takanori watches Yuu incredulously with wide eyes, having not expected such a move from the raven. He has never seen Yuu so – _so_ detached, so unfeeling, so satisfied with the debauchery that he has done. All of the raven’s tears have cleared up. Yuu’s face is an impassive blank. In that very instant, Yuu looked… _different_. Yuu wasn’t the same Yuu that flirted with Takanori over coffee, the same Yuu whose eyes shone brighter than the sun, the same Yuu that cried for Takanori to return to his side safely. No, it was a Yuu that had seen the love of his life in danger, a Yuu whose love took over every qualm he could possibly have, a Yuu who was ready to alienate himself from emotions, _just_ to administer sweet ol’ revenge.  
   
Yuu knew it was life and death. And, consumed by the rage that had been left in him after seeing Takanori get hurt, Yuu hadn’t thought to look back.  
   
“He needs medical attention, now!” Yuu yells to the staff behind the counters, dropping the gun in his hand quickly to Takanori’s side. Takanori almost forgets he’s in pain when he focuses on the sheer determination present in Yuu’s eyes, every of his words spoken with urgency and with fire. Yuu has never looked more confident, more purposeful… Takanori almost can’t recognise the man before him. The diner staff scramble to find the first-aid kit they’ve stored in the back, and hurriedly rush out with it. One of them appears to have medical experience; and so Yuu agrees to allow them administer help, desperate for Takanori’s pain to be alleviated.  
   
Yuu moves behind Takanori to support his back, dragging him to lie against the nearest counter. Takanori watches the raven-haired man with newfound admiration as Yuu gazes to him with a lukewarm look, only softening his tone when he meets Takanori’s eyes lovingly. By Takanori’s leg, the medical staff sets to work, and Takanori vaguely notes that they’re doing their best attempts to dislodge the bullet in his leg. He still gets shooting pains every now and then, but he can’t concentrate on that though, when Yuu is holding Takanori so close to him, his arms wrapping gently and insistently around Takanori’s upper body.  
   
“You saved me,” Yuu sighs quietly, with an affectionate smile, his fingers burying themselves in Takanori’s hair. It’s the most comforting thing Takanori has known. Yuu looks so beautiful, like the sunrise, and there’s nothing more he can ask for.  
   
“I believe _you_ did,” Takanori counters, an eyebrow raised. And Yuu really did. Yuu had been alerted to a threat faster than Takanori had, and it definitely shows the raven has impeccable awareness in dangerous situations, something even the most skilled of fighters lack. Perhaps, given time and training, Yuu could even become a capable fighter, himself. “I didn’t know you knew how to use a gun.”  
   
“I don’t,” Yuu corrects, and Takanori gives him a dubious look. “I just saw how you used it, and mimicked it.”  
   
“You know that’s impressive,” Takanori comments. “It was a straight shot, too. You have perfect aim.” _Now_ Takanori’s convinced Yuu has the potential to fight. Yuu had picked up a gun, unfaltering, and shot straight without a single moment of hesitation. In that split second, Yuu feared nothing. Yuu just keeps surprising Takanori day after day, and Takanori doesn’t know what to expect from the raven anymore. He’s proud of the raven-haired immensely, and almost doesn’t regret his leg wound, if only to get a chance to Yuu in action like _that._ In other circumstances, Takanori would have almost found it _hot,_ even. But he’ll dwell on emotions like that later. “You have to tell me how you did that. It takes years of practice to even get an aim like that.”  
   
And Yuu breaks into a smile at his words, laughing at the technicality of it all, when really he’d been driven to do it all only for the man currently lying in his arms. As a trained assassin, Takanori can’t help but focus on how _amazing_ that shot was, on how good Yuu is, and can be, with his dead aim and high alertness;  
   
But when really, all Yuu sees is… _him._  
   
“I didn’t think. I did it because I love you,” Yuu answers honestly, truthfully, heartfeltly. The raven’s eyelids flutter downwards, and Takanori makes out hazy droplets clouding the side of his ravishing moonlit eyes. It serves to remind Takanori that Yuu is still reeling in from the shock of it all, from the fear of almost losing Takanori, from almost having him die right before his eyes.  
   
Takanori has always been driven by money, and power, to deem it his right to take away the lives of others. But it’s different for Yuu.  
   
And it’s the first time Takanori has ever been saved, and he feels like it’s not so bad. It’s not so bad not to be in control for once. It’s not so bad to give in. And it’s nice to know that someone’s looking out for him, that someone will do everything it takes to keep you alive. Takanori has spent all these time trying to save Yuu, when really Yuu never needed much saving. Perhaps Takanori was the one who needed it, instead.  
   
“I love you, too,” Takanori smiles weakly, saying, and it prompts Yuu to immediately rip away the mask that covers his face, and cover Takanori’s lips with his own.  
   
Takanori kisses him until they both need air. Their tongues meet with electricity pulsing through their veins. His heart pounds a million beats per second. Takanori briefly realises the pain in his leg is _nothing_ compared to the pain of it all when Yuu’s kisses finally fade away. Takanori really wishes he would stop dwelling on how close Yuu is to leaving his side, but he _can’t._ Takanori wants to hold on to every kiss, every breath, every smile that Yuu bestows upon him, because he knows time is running out with the raven.  
   
“It’s out!” the medical staff next to them announces, and Takanori and Yuu push open their eyes to be pulled back into reality. A quick glance to Takanori’s leg shows that the bullet has been removed, and there is now thick white gauze wrapped around the affected part of Takanori’s calf, halting the bleeding in the meantime.  
   
“You’re good for now, but you have to get this professionally checked by a doctor as soon as possible so as not to risk it getting infected.”  
   
“Thank you,” Yuu profusely gives thanks, relieved at the assuring sight. “Where’s the nearest hospital?”  
   
“We’re not going to a hospital,” Takanori cuts him right off, looking at him head-on, practically in disbelief at how little concern Yuu’s giving to his current state of safety. “The ship harbour’s just miles away.”  
   
Resistance piles up within Yuu’s eyes. “You’re hurt.” And Takanori knows Yuu really wants to protect him, he really does, but this is Takanori’s mission, and his goal is to get Yuu to safety as soon as possible. It’s not about him; it’s about Yuu. If they linger here for too long, they may lose all chances of escape.  
   
“And _you’re_ a wanted man,” Takanori snorts. “Look, we only have a limited time before the rest of them realise that capturing you – _again_ – didn’t work. We have to go _now_.”  
   
Yuu looks conflicted. “But… you’re in no condition to move.”  
   
“Like _hell_ I can’t move,” Takanori grunts, a strong arm reaching up to grab at the counter behind him to support himself, determined to prove Yuu wrong. Yuu rushes to help Takanori up, but Takanori refuses it, and pushes Yuu’s hands away. The blond assassin pulls himself up to a standing position, feeling rather sore, but not completely immobilised by his gunshot wound. “This is child’s play. The journey back home won’t take long. I’ll survive.” It still hurts slightly, since the wound is still fresh, but it’s nothing Takanori hasn’t dealt with before. He’ll be up and running in no time again.  
   
“Are you sure?” Yuu quips, doubtful, upset that he clearly won’t be the one to make the final call here. But he understands the severity of their situation, and he knows that if they don’t take advantage of their headstart now and head for the docks, they may risk getting ambushed by another attack.  
   
“The clock is ticking,” Takanori emphasises, clucking his tongue. Yuu has no choice but to give in.  
   
They compensate the diner staff a ton of money for their time and help, and thereafter make their way to the ship harbour nearby. Yuu ends up supporting Takanori by the shoulder, placing an arm around his back as he tugs Takanori along with every step. Takanori still doesn’t like the thought of Yuu coddling him like a baby, and makes occasional unhappy grunts, hating the fact that he’s been placed in such an unfortunate position. Takanori doesn’t complain or make a single sound revealing the extent of his pain – Yuu has an inkling that Takanori has too much pride for that – but Yuu is careful to treat Takanori as gently as possible, always murmuring reassuring words of comfort to the blond assassin. He has never seen Takanori so hurt, and it pains Yuu to do so. He hopes from hereon their journey will be smoother, and they will be able to spend the next few days in peace, preferably all wound up in each other’s arms.  
   
~  
   
It appears their luck further diminishes by the second.  
   
“ _All tickets for departing ships for the day have been sold_ ,” the big, burly Chinese man by the counter says, and Takanori has to stop himself from cursing outrightly at him for the inconvenience. All around them, many tourists and workers alike are walking around with suitcases and luggages, all ready for boarding. Takanori and Yuu are indiscernible in the heavy crowd, looking just like two other travellers ready for their journey back home.  
   
“ _Not even one? That can’t be right,_ ” Takanori answers, through gritted teeth. His Mandarin isn’t perfect, but it’s enough to be understood, and it’s impressive by his standards, considering how Takanori has never had proper education and has had to self-study most things by himself. Takanori looks thoroughly frustrated with the circumstances of things, and just as he’s wondering if Yuu is able to understand what’s going on, Yuu startles him with a sweet-sounding, flirtatious voice departing from his lips:  
   
“ _Big brother, I’m sure we can work some things out.”_  
   
Oh, _of course_. Takanori snorted; he’s not surprised to hear perfect, native-accented Mandarin leave Yuu’s lips – the well-bred man must have been trained in several languages since he was a young child.  
   
“ _We can pay twice – thrice the price_ ,” Yuu made sure to emphasise, winking down the man’s way. “ _With full discretion, of course. If that’s not enough, just name your price. I have connections back home that will get you whatever you desire.”_  
   
The man doesn’t seem fazed by the offer. _“All tickets for the day have been sold, there’s nothing I can do about that. I can get you two tickets for tomorrow.”_  
   
“That’s too late,” Takanori mutters, turning to the raven-haired, disgruntled. “Yuu, it’s dangerous… We need to find another way. Maybe we can buy tickets off passengers.”  
   
The smile disappears from Yuu’s face when he realises the man isn’t able to get them what they want.  
   
“ _My fiancé is president of the Takashima Group,_ ” Yuu hisses out, hating to pull out the fiancé card, but knowing it never fails each time. The Chinese man seems to raise his brows in recognition of Kouyou’s position. _“Listen, I’m not kidding when I say I can get you anything you want. We are in a dire situation right now, and_ –”  
   
And then Yuu goes awfully silent, as if distracted by a sight in a distance, his mouth slowly gaping open in shock. Takanori quickly turns concerned, wondering if Yuu has recognised the men intent on capturing him again – until Yuu’s eyes begin to brighten up with unadulterated hope, his face lighting up with pure excitement.  
   
“Kai!” Yuu is calling out enthusiastically, beginning to jump about and wave his hands frantically to be noticed. Takanori frowns, then follows Yuu’s gaze, his eyes finally landing on a brunet man who is engaged in conversation with a dock worker, who’s now whipping his head around in response to Yuu’s yelling of his name.  
   
The man looks to be around their age, in his late 20s, but _very_ lavishly dressed. The brunet’s long hair has been elaborately done into dreadlocks, exposing a side of his head that has been stylishly shaved in indecipherable patterns. Takanori can’t make out much of the man’s outfit, because he’s swathed in a rich, golden fur cloak, one that looks freshly hunted off a wild bear. For a moment, Takanori’s confused as to how Yuu knows this man, because the man looks _nothing_ like a person that would run in Yuu and Kouyou’s circles. The man easily resembles someone who’s the head of an underground mafia – perhaps even a pimp – with his showy and flamboyant dressing, as if desperate for everyone who comes across him to know _exactly_ just how much money he’s worth.  
   
_Kai_ seems to recognise Yuu right off the bat, and though he’s shocked at first to see Yuu around these parts, his lips quickly curl up into a welcoming smile. He excuses himself from his company, then makes big strides over to Yuu’s side. Yuu doesn’t contain a single bit of his excitement as his grin widens, almost running over to receive Kai into his arms.  
   
Takanori’s a little miffed to be abandoned by the side like this, so he hopes whoever this Kai person is – he’s _worth_ it.  
   
“Kai!” Yuu chirps happily again, falling into the brunet man’s embrace. Kai lets out a few chuckles, lowers a hand into Yuu’s hair and ruffles it, as if Yuu’s his long-lost younger brother who he hasn’t seen in a while now. Takanori wonders what their relationship is, and why Yuu feels so close to him. “I didn’t expect to see you here!”  
   
“I wasn’t expecting you, too,” Kai laughs, and now that he’s up-close, Takanori notes the many fancy bejewelled rings the man is wearing on his fingers. _Way_ too flashy. Takanori wonders what the man does for a living. “I heard from Kouyou that you got into a little trouble…”  
   
“I still am,” Yuu gives a _huge_ pout, and Takanori registers that Yuu must be used to being spoilt and indulged upon by this man. The feeling’s disconcerting. It’s so easy for Yuu to slip into his many facades, and Takanori realises this must be how Yuu acts around his usual company, made up of men his status. “Kai, we need tickets to get off this country. People are after me.”  
   
“We?” Kai questions, and suddenly Takanori feels so small. Yuu nods, then turns his head back to meet Takanori’s eyes, smiling towards the blond assassin. Takanori still has his mask on, so he tugs at it just a tad bit higher, unwilling to meet Kai’s intrusive gaze. He didn’t fancy meeting Yuu’s equally-as-rich friends like this. _Ugh,_ Takanori hates social interactions, period.  
   
“Kouyou sent him to help me,” Yuu explains.  
   
Kai’s eyes glint, as if finally recognising the assassin before him. Had Kouyou told Kai about him? “Ah… the _Shadow Killer_ , was it? Not so much in the shadows anymore, are we?”  
   
Jesus _fuck_. As if Takanori needed any more reminders on why he hated humans. Takanori resists the urge to roll his eyes, unwilling to respond to Kai’s unnecessary teasing.  
   
“Yuu, who is he.” Takanori mutters quietly under his breath, his defences still up around their newfound company.  
   
“Oh… I forgot to introduce you guys. This is Kai,” Yuu smiles, clings onto the arm of the brunet. “He’s Kouyou’s younger brother.”  
   
Younger brother? Takanori’s brows furrow. _Everyone_ knows Takashima Kouyou; he’s the son of the finance minister, he’s the president of the Takashima Group, he’s in control of several top-notch business chains in the country, and he’s on the news every other day for doing something that’ll affect the economy. On the surface, it’s widely known that Kouyou is the only son of the finance minister, and that he’s naturally set for success because of his father’s involvement in politics. However, there have always been talks of an illegitimate son that the finance minister is keeping secret, one that has been borne out of a short-term affair many decades ago, though no one seems to be able to clue in on his actual identity.    
   
And here the actual man is, standing right before his eyes.  
   
“Kouyou’s half-brother, actually,” Kai corrects, laughing as he gazes down into Yuu’s eyes. “But that’s just semantics. Right, Yuu?”  
   
He looks at Yuu in a certain way, and Takanori catches it. It’s almost perverse and _wanting_ , and it rubs Takanori the wrong way. He already doesn’t like Kai, doesn’t trust him, and doesn’t want him around Yuu. He wonders how Kouyou feels about Kai being around his fiancé, because Takanori _isn’t_ even Kouyou, and he’s already disgusted by the way Kai’s looking at the raven-haired.  
   
“Anyway, were you guys looking for a ship?” Kai half-grins, cocking his head to the back. “ _Rosemary_ ’s departing in a little under an hour. A complete luxury cruise. It’d suit your tastes, Yuu. Luckily for you, I always keep a few VIP rooms spare just in case.”  
   
Huh, so he owns a cruise ship for upperclass travellers. Is that what he does for a living? Manage cruises? Well, it’s not too bad of an occupation, and Kai clearly makes big bucks from his job; but considering how much of a success Kouyou is in comparison, Takanori can’t help but wonder if Kai feels resentful to his father sometimes. It’s not his fault that he was borne out of an affair. Then again, it’s a PR disaster if news of his existence ever leaks, and so Kai must understand there isn’t much his father can do. Takanori is sure that the finance minister must still fund Kai for the lifestyle he leads as compensation, for the son he can never become.  
   
Yuu nods his head, overjoyed. “That’s perfect, Kai! You’re a total lifesaver.”  
   
“Anything for a Takashima-to-be,” Kai teases, taking hold of Yuu’s hand and lifting it up to his lips. He plants a gentle kiss against Yuu’s knuckles, and it sends Yuu blushing like a fair maiden. Takanori almost hurls. “You let me know if you ever need anything during your stay, alright? I’ll make sure you get everything you need.”  
   
“Oh!” Yuu jolts up, suddenly remembering. “Do you have a doctor on board? It’s just… Ruki’s leg is heavily injured, and I’m afraid his wound will get infected.”  
   
Huh, _Ruki_. Yuu’s smart enough to use his alias, at least.  
   
Kai raises a brow, then looks to analyse Takanori's severely bandaged leg, as if wondering what could have possibly happened to land Takanori in such a state. He doesn’t question it, though. Takanori growls quietly to himself.  
   
“No problem. We _do_ have trained medical specialists on board. Maybe we can take your friend to the infirmary now, and then we’ll get you settled in to the cruise. How does that sound?”  
   
“Perfect!” Yuu smiles gratefully, and Kai returns it with a boyish grin. Takanori feels the beginning signs of jealousy start to seep into his heart. It’s a foreign feeling, and he’s not used to being jealous over petty matters such as _love_.  
   
But Yuu has reserved that sunshine smile for Takanori all these while, and now he’s so easily giving it away to another man in his life.  
   
It hurts, but somehow Takanori can’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from the sight before him, where Yuu’s smiling so heavenly to Kai, looking like he fits into a picture-perfect world where Takanori doesn’t exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kai looks like this: [Picture 1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d2/4b/42/d24b425afd85333c6d1c9a53621f7423.jpg) | [Picture 2](http://i562.photobucket.com/albums/ss68/kizunashin/The%20Gazette/kai--large-msg-12551700056.jpg)
> 
> For some reason I've been listening to a lot of [Akira's 蒼き月満ちて](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOUMqyp_-M) while writing Redefined lately...
> 
> Also, I wanted to make it obvious that Yuu and Takanori are situated on a country/island that's populated with Chinese fugitives/mafia who use it to run their illegal underground activities. Hence explaining the Chinese being spoken etc. I don't like nationalities being focused on in my stories, but I guess Yuu and Takanori are naturally speaking in Japanese when it comes to each other. 
> 
> Yay for a quick update! Let's hope this continues :)


	11. Chapter 11

_Rosemary_ is a beauty. It’s a cruise with seven levels, complete with outdoor pools and indoor casinos, huge enough to hold up to 1,000 people – the size clearly limited to only the wealthiest and the creamest of the crop. All around Takanori, cruise staff are strutting in and out of the ship, lugging in heavy luggages, all distinctively branded from Louis Vuitton and the like. Men travellers are classily decked out in fine suits, while women travellers are rarely seen strolling around without fancy million-dollar jewelry hanging off their ears and body. Ages seem fairly spread out – it doesn’t matter how old or young you are, it only matters whether you have money and repute to _afford_ this cruise liner. Yuu completely fits in with the crowd, as does Kai. Takanori, on the other hand, is beginning to feel a little out-of-place. He hadn’t expected to be given passage on a ship as extravagant as _this_.  
   
Everywhere is carpeted inside the cruise, it seems, and exorbitant art paintings cover the golden-coloured walls. Crystal white chandeliers hang high from one ceiling to another, and everything that stands – the vases, the tables, the statues and all of the ornaments – seem to be made out of fine porcelain. This place has been decorated only for the most affluent to admire; there’s no risk of anything being stolen when they have simply no need to do so.  
   
Kai is greeted by every other service staff as they make their way down the hallways, and occasionally a guest or two will wave to him and offer a surprised smile to Yuu as well, recognising the raven-haired man instantly by face, having not received news that he would be present on the ship. Even without introduction, Yuu is well-recognised amongst the elite, having always been born Shiroyama in name. Even before getting engaged to Kouyou, the Shiroyamas have made quite a name for themselves in the business world, and have always been considered old money, with generation after generation becoming even more successful than the previous. Now, with Kouyou’s name and influence attached, Yuu stands to gain even greater recognition, and there are no doubt plenty who wish to get into his good graces.  
   
Takanori already doesn’t like this feeling of distinct separation; he’d been with Yuu alone for so long that he’d almost forgotten just how up the ladder chain Yuu truly is. Back in motel rooms, they had always been equals. They’d laughed at the same jokes, chatted frivolously about the same things, ate the same food, slept on the same bed, needed each other the same way. Here, Yuu is no longer just someone he can kiss softly good night. Here, Yuu has brand, has reputation, has power. He’s also wanted and coveted by many, even by the _cruise_ _owner_ , and Takanori has never liked sharing things. But Yuu has never belonged to him, has he? Yuu never has, never will. Takanori should have readied his heart for this expectation long ago, but he isn’t ready. He’s not ready to let Yuu go yet. Not when they still have days away to returning him back to Kouyou.  
   
And somehow, Yuu’s just standing next to him, but he already feels so far away.  
   
Kai continues to be completely enamoured by Yuu’s presence, constantly chatting up the animated raven-haired, and it annoys the blond assassin. Takanori has been mostly ignored by Yuu ever since Kai came into the picture, but Takanori knows his anger is only irrational. It makes no sense for Yuu to pay undivided attention to Takanori, when in Kai’s eyes, he must be nothing more than a glorified bodyguard. There’s no reason for Yuu to be nice to Takanori, when Takanori’s just doing his job. It would be strange if Yuu continued showering him with love and attention still, and it might even set warning bells off in Kai’s head. The _rich_ barely pay attention to their servants, often choosing to see them as invisible, and in this case, Takanori is to be looked upon as just another worker for them.  
   
But it still wounds Takanori deeply in the heart to be ignored, especially when he’d exchanged kisses and _I love you_ s with the raven-haired just hours ago, when their lives had been so dangerously on the line.  
   
Suddenly, as if Yuu is just now noticing Takanori’s quietness; the raven cuts his conversation short with Kai on his left, and turns his face to Takanori on his right abruptly, lowering his voice in a concerned whisper.  
   
“Are you okay?” Yuu asks, with a soft smile, his arm still gently supporting Takanori’s back as the blond drags his feet across the floor. “Is the pain in your leg getting worse?”  
   
Takanori feels Kai’s eyes stop to focus on him as well, and the assassin doesn’t like those eyes scrutinising him, doesn’t want Kai to think him as weak-willed at all.  
   
“It’s fine,” Takanori grunts, and he doesn’t speak any more on the subject. He’s been gritting his teeth throughout, enduring the throbbing pain and his bloody wound to the best of his ability, knowing that the worst will blow over soon, and he’ll be back to normal given time and space to heal. He hates the fact that he’s had to cause Yuu to worry for him, and he hates the fact that he’s destroyed his all-powerful image as an invincible assassin in Yuu’s eyes. He doesn’t want Yuu to _take care_ of him; Takanori’s the one that’s supposed to take care of the raven.  
   
They finally stop at the door of the infirmary, and as Kai leads the way in, Takanori’s pleasantly surprised by how much it easily resembles an actual room in the hospital, with its white-washed walls and sanitised air. Well, that is, _if_ every hospital room is a suite. Every medical equipment possibly needed is present here, complete with an adjustable hospital bed and heart rate monitors, and there’s even a balcony available outside, just in case the patient wishes to enjoy the view of the ocean while he’s recuperating. The whole set-up is incredibly thoughtful, as expected from someone who’s managing a high-end cruise.  
   
“Take a seat,” Kai gestures to the hospital bed, smiling down Takanori’s way. What scares Takanori is how genuine that smile seems, when the blond knows Kai must only be doing this for Yuu’s sake. He doesn’t trust Kai at all – doesn’t trust people with wealth and power in their hands, period. “I’ve called for a certified doctor. He’ll be with you shortly.”  
   
“This place is _amazing_!” Yuu gushes to the brunet, and Takanori turns his face away, feeling his heart begin to throb in jealousy at how attentive Yuu is being to Kai. For god’s sake, _Takanori’s_ the one with a gunshot wound to his leg! He’s the one who needs extra attention here! Who the hell cares about whats-his-face with his billion-dollar cruise? This asshole never even bothered placing his life on the line for you!  
   
“I know, I made sure all our facilities are top-notch,” Kai smirks in triumph, like he’s proud he has earned the approval of the raven. Every of his reaction _disgusts_ Takanori with how obvious he’s being. Is Yuu truly that oblivious or naïve or what? “I poured a lot of sweat and effort into this baby. Gotta make sure it lives up to its hype.”  
   
“I _have_ to bring father and mother over one day,” Yuu grins to him. “I’m sure they’ll love it.”  
   
“It’d be an honour to host the Shiroyamas on this cruise,” Kai bows his head gentlemanly as a cheeky gesture to the raven, and it makes Yuu laugh. Takanori feels his heart constricting just that much further at the joyful noise leaving Yuu’s lips. “Anyway, I’ll get you settled in. I’ll make arrangements for your friend to be led to his room later after he’s done with medical, okay?”  
   
“Oh…” Yuu darts his eyes worryingly to Takanori. The blond assassin still has his face turned away from Yuu – probably out of spite, out of anger, but Takanori will never admit to it if Yuu bothers asking. “Aren’t I staying to watch him? I can keep him company.”  
   
…Takanori begins to feel a little bad about his annoyance. Yuu, ultimately, still cares for Takanori after all, and wants to remain by his side. That knowledge softens Takanori’s hard heart a little, and Takanori resolves to raise his eyes up to meet with Yuu’s, his lonesome eyes admiring Yuu’s kind countenance.  
   
Kai gives the raven a ludicrous look, finding the idea absurd, when Takanori’s nothing more than a fancy bodyguard for Yuu, anyway. Why does an assassin like Takanori need to be babied?  
   
“And _why_ on earth would you need to do that?”  
   
Yuu realises his mistake.  
   
Kai doesn’t know about them, and his overly concern for Takanori will give him reason to suspect their relationship. Yuu chews on his lip, wondering how he’s going to come up with a reasonable excuse to stay with the blond. He wants to make sure that Takanori’s okay, that Takanori is in good hands, but he can’t do so for fear of Kai growing wary of Yuu’s relationship with Takanori. Even if Kai is only Kouyou’s half-brother, they’re still related by blood, and they’re close enough that Kai will come to Kouyou’s defense and hurt anyone who threatens to come in between Kouyou and his fiancé. Yuu just can’t risk it.  
   
“He’ll be fine,” Kai silences his thoughts and places a hand on Yuu’s shoulder reassuringly, though he’s still confused as to why Yuu is worrying so much over a mere assassin. “The doctor’s top-notch. You can check on Ruki again later, if you like.”  
   
Now _that_ piece of information relieves Yuu a tad bit. “I guess I really am worrying too much…”  
   
“Let’s head up to your room, now,” Kai offers a smile, pulling the raven readily over to his side, an arm sliding across Yuu’s back. Takanori has to hold an instinctive growl back to himself, immediately snapping up a possessive glare to Kai.  
   
Yuu doesn’t seem to notice the assassin’s territorial gaze, and bites harder down unto his lip, as if debating something internally. The raven-haired man then turns and makes an impulsive decision to lower his head to Takanori’s level, and run his hand up Takanori’s blond hair as a comforting gesture.  
   
“I’ll see you later,” Yuu whispers softly, delicately, lovingly, his eyes holding promise.  
   
Takanori raises his head up to hold Yuu’s gaze, and feels his heart reviving its strong beat again.  
   
 _I love you_.  
   
Those words go unspoken and don’t leave Yuu’s lips, but it’s said loud and clear in the air. Yuu’s love is apparent on his face, and as he unwillingly withdraws his touch from Takanori’s hair, the blond assassin raises his hand up hastily as well, brushing lightly against Yuu’s fingers to convey one last message to the raven.  
   
 _I love you, too._  
   
Their eyes meet knowingly, and then they both break off into smiles. Yuu wears the same sunshine grin that Takanori has always been in love with, and Takanori beams silently to the raven through his eyes. And even though they know their love is sworn to secrecy, to be kept between them and them only, that’s enough for them for now. It’s enough to keep them happy. It’s enough for the time they have left with each other.  
   
“Well, then,” Kai frowns, clearly bewildered by the closeness he has just witnessed before him. “Let’s get going now, shall we?”  
   
“Definitely,” Yuu agrees, clearing his throat. He straightens his back and allows Kai to pull him close, leading him out of the infirmary.  
   
Takanori eyes the way Kai’s arm falls conveniently to Yuu’s waist, and doesn’t know why he has a bad gut feeling about this one.  
   
~  
   
Kai gets Yuu one of the most luxurious rooms available on deck. Despite Yuu’s protests that he needn’t much space, and will be perfectly fine with whatever room is left, Kai only wants to deliver the best to his half-brother’s fiancé, and gives Yuu access to the most expensive grand suite, one that is separated into two levels: with the TV, living room and dining table available on the first, and the king-sized bed and bathroom available on the second. It’s a suite undoubtedly made to host a couple or a whole family, and Yuu’s slightly embarrassed that he’s taking up the entire suite as a single occupant. He briefly considers asking Takanori to room with him, but wonders if that would be crossing a line or two in Kai’s eyes.  
   
After explaining the whole kidnapping situation to Kai, the brunet had laughed and admitted that he’d silently been wondering the entire time why Yuu seemed to have gotten a new hair-cut, and was wearing such shoddy clothes that wasn’t befitting of his image at all. Kai then proceeded to have some of his attendants deliver new clothes to Yuu’s suite in the raven’s exact size, something that Yuu was extremely grateful for. After promising to see Yuu again for dinner later, Kai soon left Yuu in his suite, allowing the raven some time to shower and have a proper change of clothes.  
   
By the time Yuu had long settled in to his room and got himself a clean shower, it was already approaching dusk, and the cruise had long set sail. Yuu exited the bathroom with a towel around his shoulders, and as he proceeded to dry his hair out, he found an iPad left on his bed, with a note attached that had been evidently written in Kai’s scrawny handwriting:  
   
 _Thought you might want to contact my brother as soon as you could._  
   
 _P.S.: In other words, told your fiancé you’re here with me. He freaked out. Proceeded to yell at me for not calling him first. Call him ASAP before he flies over here himself._  
   
Yuu finds himself softly smiling at the note, knowing just how Kouyou-like that behaviour was. Kouyou must have worried _so_ much over him the past few days… They have never been apart for so long before, having always been a very touchy-feely and intimate couple. Kouyou always shelters Yuu, always holds him close, always melts Yuu with his endless kisses and calls him affectionate pet names that Yuu loves so much. Kouyou must be feeling so empty without the raven by his side. And, without Takanori, Yuu would have felt the same, too. A part of Yuu does sincerely miss his fiancé; the other part of Yuu, however, doesn’t know why he feels imminent dread at the very thought of facing Kouyou again.  
   
Or, he _does_ know why, and doesn’t want to face up to it. It’s because he has Takanori now, too, and Takanori fills up all the gaps inside of Yuu that he hadn’t even realised he had before. Takanori completes him, in ways that Kouyou never did.  
   
And that’s the scary part.  
   
But Yuu forces himself to suck it up, and sits cross-legged on his bed, reaching for the iPad. He doesn’t forget the mutual decision that Takanori and him have reached; one that acknowledged how impossible and unrealistic it was for Yuu and Takanori to spend the rest of their lives together. The both of them couldn’t allow their possible relationship to destroy their own lives. The both of them couldn’t commit to being on the run forever. Perhaps in another life, Yuu could have been Takanori’s. But in this one… there just wasn’t a chance.  
   
Unlocking the iPad nervously, Yuu taps on FaceTime, and sees Kouyou’s name appear first on the list of contacts. Yuu draws his hand back for a second, hesitating for a moment, wondering if he truly deserves to speak to Kouyou after everything he’s done with Takanori behind his back. But Yuu knows he can’t hide forever, and perhaps this is the first step to returning back to the life he has always known. The one that he rightfully belongs to. The one that he deserves. And that thought gives him enough strength to tap on Kouyou’s name, connecting immediately to his beloved fiancé.  
   
 _Here goes nothing._  
   
The video call is picked up in record time, and it makes Yuu chuckle slightly at Kouyou’s urgency. Kouyou’s drop-dead gorgeous face quickly fills up the screen, and Yuu is overcome with a pang of nostalgia. It must have only been days, but it feels like forever since he has seen his perfect fiancé. Kouyou is as handsome as he remembers, with his sleek, black hair framing his strong, angular jawline, and his deep, sombre eyes that seem to always contain a hint of amusement and pure joy when lay upon Yuu’s face. Kouyou’s entire face lights up at the sight of Yuu, and the huge smile widening on his lips is infectious. Yuu can’t help but giggle in response, out of habit, and the raven already finds it so easy to slip back into the old Yuu that’s used to being coddled by the older man.  
   
 _Perhaps it’s easier this way._  
   
Kouyou is still dressed in his usual work suit, though he has loosened his tie and his blazer now that he’s FaceTiming with Yuu, and Yuu guesses that Kouyou must still be in his office, only temporarily pausing his work just to speak to Yuu. Kouyou has always been a workaholic, and Yuu is the one exception to his busy work schedule.  
   
“Yuu, baby, it’s really you…” Kouyou can’t stop grinning, like a huge dork, and Yuu tries to fight the guilt that starts to take over his heart. It hurts, and it burns, and Yuu has to resist the urge to run away from _this_ and turn off the video call. Kouyou’s voice is deep, rich and smooth, and it’s everything that is familiar to the raven. Yuu could close his eyes and already pretend like this entire time with Takanori hadn’t happened; that Yuu had never left Kouyou’s side in the first place, and has always been waiting for Kouyou to come home.  
   
“I’ve missed you so, _so_ much. My baby. My princess. I’m so happy you’re safe. Are you hurt in any way? Did any of _them_ try to touch you? I swear to God, I’ll make sure they’ll pay for what they’ve done to you. Just tell me what they’ve done, and–”  
   
“Shhhh,” Yuu smiles weakly, placing a finger to his lips, his hair falling all over his face as he tilts his head cutely to the side. It’s just like Kouyou to overdo the romantic shtick. He’s horrible. “You’re so noisy. Can’t you savour this moment for just a sec?”  
   
Kouyou’s grin only widens, and his eyes are full of love. “You’re so perfect. So, _so_ unbelievable. I can’t wait to have you again… _Wait_. Hold on… Yuu,” the smile on his face immediately vanishes, and instead is replaced by horror when a dreadful realisation quickly dawns unto him. Yuu begins to feel nervous, wondering if Kouyou has somehow guessed about Takanori.  
   
“Oh no, oh no, Yuu, _baby_ … Did something happen to your long hair?”  
   
Oh. _Oops._ Yuu had forgotten to worry about that, amongst many other things. Guess Kouyou would have to find out the hard way. Well… he was going to have to find out eventually.  
   
“I cut it,” Yuu answers, and strategically wears a full-on pout, hoping it will win him adorable points with his fiancé. Kouyou never could resist him. “I… uh, thought it was necessary. To disguise myself. I mean. Do I look bad?” He can tell Kouyou doesn’t buy his reasoning, but to his surprise, the older man doesn’t seem to be too mad about it. Guess being kidnapped and dead is the worse alternative, and Kouyou doesn’t have much to complain about, not when Yuu’s still perky, healthy and alive in front of him.  
   
“You’re still beautiful, of course, and I guess it’ll grow out, soon enough,” Kouyou sighs out, disappointed. Yuu can tell Kouyou definitely still prefers his hair long, but knows it’s tactless to outrightly state it. The older man always has been such a gentleman. “Well, you’re not hurt, right? Did the assassin I sent you take good care of you? I made sure to tell him to be gentle with you… You have to let me know if he hasn’t.”  
   
Yuu’s heart skips a few beats now that they’re broaching the subject about Takanori. _He’s been more than gentle._ He has taught Yuu so, _so_ many things, and Yuu doesn’t even know where to start. Yuu doesn’t know if he should even. It’s not possible to talk about Takanori to Kouyou without feeling the need to burst into unhappy tears.  
   
“He… He has. He’s been completely wonderful… He’s the best assassin I could possibly have gotten,” And Yuu’s eyes flicker away for a second as he says this, overwhelmed with emotion for the blond. He loves Takanori, he truly does, and it pains him to know nothing will ever come out of it.  
   
“Is that so? That’s a relief, then. I’ll make sure to properly compensate him for his effort,” Kouyou says, pleased to hear that Yuu has had a good experience with Ruki. “Also, I’ve been wondering. Will you let me know how you were captured by the gang in the first place?”  
   
“It was the chauffeur,” Yuu frowns, recalling that day’s events rather irately. “He sold out. Remember how I told you our chauffeur went missing? By the time the car came back to pick me up, I hadn’t realised our chauffeur had been replaced. It was one of them. I got in the car, they pointed a gun at me, and told me to remain silent if I wanted to keep my life. And then… Then after that, they blind-folded me. Everything went black. I didn’t even know where I was being transported to… I really thought I was going to die.”  
   
“Oh, _baby_ ,” Kouyou’s eyes look visibly pained upon hearing Yuu’s words. He doesn’t want his princess feeling this way, doesn’t want his princess thinking of painful things like dying. “I would never let that happen. Not under my watch. I was always going to come for you… I would never let anyone hurt you like that.”  
   
 _But… But you didn’t come for me, Takanori did_ , Yuu thinks, but he knows better than to vocalise it. He holds his tongue, and remembers how when the blindfolds came off, the first person that had come to sight was the grumpy, fearsome-looking blond assassin. Yuu had been waiting for Kouyou all these while, and he’d felt so alone in the days without his fiancé. It’s not Kouyou’s fault, Yuu knows – Kouyou can’t risk going over to rescue Yuu and getting hurt in the process, because Kouyou is too important a person to be replaced. Kouyou isn’t skilled, unlike how Takanori is as an assassin, and he’ll definitely not be any match for Yuu’s captors. The most Kouyou could have done was to find the best possible assassin to rescue Yuu, and that was exactly what Kouyou had done.  
   
Yuu remembers absolutely hating Takanori’s guts when they first met back then, unable to understand why he made himself up to look so frightening, and couldn’t tell whether to trust him or not… but they’ve come so far now. Takanori ended up saving his life, more than once, and became the sole reason Yuu was still here in the first place. Yuu owed Takanori _everything_.  
   
“It’s been almost a week since I last saw you,” Kouyou laments sadly, and Yuu brings his attention back to his fiancé. The man does look sincerely upset that he hasn’t been able to see Yuu in so long, and the sight squeezes at Yuu’s fragile heart. Despite Kouyou’s shortcomings, Kouyou has always whole-heartedly and genuinely been in love with Yuu, and Yuu can never fault that against him. “How have the past few days been? Are you living and eating okay? Is there anything you want to tell me? I’ll take care of anything for you.”  
   
“Um…” Yuu trails off in thought, unsure if there’s any possible thing he can reveal to Kouyou. He has spent the majority of the past few days lip-locked with Takanori and rolling around with him in hotel beds, and he’s certain none of that can ever reach Kouyou’s ears. What interesting event could he possibly share with Kouyou?  
   
“Oh! I shot a man today.”  
   
It’s only after it leaves Yuu’s lips that the raven realises revealing that to his overprotective fiancé may not have exactly been the best idea. _Shit._  
   
Kouyou’s face pales faster than Yuu can react. “You… _touched_ a gun?!” And the president looks so enraged by the possibility of Yuu having access to such deadly equipment, that Yuu quickly grows nervous when he tries to think of a way to remedy the situation.  
   
“It’s not a big deal, I wasn’t hurt in any way,” Yuu rushed to clarify, silently feeling just a tad bit exasperated. He’s slightly disappointed that Kouyou doesn’t seem to be proud of Yuu for what he has accomplished. Yuu knows it’s not a feat to be proud about, but Takanori had showered him with utmost pride and attention after that, and it’d made Yuu feel good about himself. Feel good about his ability to protect himself, and even Takanori. It’d showed Yuu that he wasn’t completely useless when it comes to defending and protecting the people he loved, and it’s a feeling Yuu has never truly experienced before.  
   
But Yuu now realises he can’t get _that_ sort of recognition from Kouyou. Kouyou would rather die than allow Yuu to attempt such risky things. Kouyou has never liked Yuu doing things that were… _well_ , not fitting of his perfect image as a damsel in distress. Perhaps being away from Kouyou for so long has already led Yuu to forget what version of Yuu Kouyou liked best.  
   
“I only did it out of self-defense…”  
   
“Wasn’t Ruki protecting you?!” Kouyou barks, furious at the thought of his _princess_ possibly being in danger. “And I thought you said he was doing a good job?!”  
   
“He _is_!” Yuu jumps to his defense, aggravated that Kouyou is doubting Takanori’s skills and potentially not rewarding Takanori the best he can. “It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I have to learn how to defend myself one day. I can’t always rely on bodyguards to be there. I just don’t understand why you’re so overprotective all the time? It’s not like I’m _actually_ a baby, Kouyou!”  
   
Thereafter, Kouyou goes into complete shock. It isn’t only until he turns silent, that Yuu realises _not only_ has Yuu raised his tone at his fiancé, but he is actively arguing against him, too. Yuu never was one to fight with Kouyou, and has always preferred slipping into cute pouts and flirty voices to get his way with the older man. He’d always thought Kouyou to be right in every aspect, and respected the fact that everything Kouyou did, Kouyou was doing only with Yuu’s interests at heart. He would _never_ go against Kouyou.  
   
But right now, Yuu is stubbornly arguing his stance against his lover, and it’s the most defiant he has ever been.  
   
They stare hostilely at each other for a full minute, Kouyou looking the most upset he has ever been with Yuu – until Kouyou is the first to break his tense gaze.  
   
“You shouldn’t have had to do something like that. You know I’m only mad because of how much I care for you.”  
   
“But I _did_ do it,” Yuu counters, snarkily. “And you’re just going to have to accept that, and not get mad at me for it.”  
   
“I’m not mad at you,” Kouyou asserts. “But I don’t want you doing anything like that again. The moment you sense that you’re in danger, I want you to run, or hide, or do anything that _doesn’t_ involve you and a gun, or putting your life on the line.”  
   
“I already said I wasn’t hurt in any way!” Yuu frowns, resenting just how much Kouyou wants to _baby_ him. “Aren’t you even just a little proud of me for what I’ve done? I’ve never done anything like that before.”  
   
“And that’ll be your very last time,” Kouyou concludes, effectively ending the conversation, just like he always does whenever he wants Yuu to accept his decision. It’s infuriating, and it’s condescending, and Yuu wonders why he has never noticed it before. He’d always thought it to be normal practice between them, and it’s only after his time spent with Takanori that he realises it’s not. It really isn’t. Kouyou always calls the shots in their relationship, and he makes Yuu feel bad whenever Yuu even attempts to do anything for himself.  
   
“It’s just the stress,” Kouyou mutters quietly to himself seconds later, his eyes glancing away from the camera, as if he _can’t_ bear to see Yuu in such a sorry state. “You must be undergoing some form of trauma after what you’ve been through the past week. When you’re back, I’ll arrange for your usual massage therapist to be ready for you, okay? You’ll feel much better after that. I’ll even call for Dr. Suzanne if you need someone to talk to. You always said she was nice.”  
   
Yuu frowns. Trust Kouyou to blame it on some imaginary form of trauma. “I’m fine, Kouyou.”  
   
“You’re acting strange,” Kouyou says, looking angered with himself. “It’s all my fault. If I’d kept a tighter eye on our security, you wouldn’t be in this position. You wouldn’t be…” the older man flickers his eyes to gaze back at Yuu, as if psycho-analysing his fiancé. “Different.”  
   
“I’m not diff–” Yuu starts off defensively, then realises he has begun raising his tone again. He sighs. “Kou, nothing’s wrong with me. You’re right. Maybe I’m just a little stressed.”  
   
“I knew it,” Kouyou frowns, now looking more worried for the raven-haired than anything else. “Listen, I’m not mad at you. All of this… Just take it as my fault, okay? Don’t blame yourself for the things that have happened to you. I know it’s a lot to take.”  
   
Yuu’s growing increasingly vexed by how much Kouyou seems to be humouring him, as if he’s a child who can’t fend for himself, but he swallows it all down. “It is, Kou.”  
   
“Don’t worry, _princess_. I’ll be with you soon,” Kouyou smiles weakly to the camera. “I miss you so, _so,_ so much. We’ll go for that meal we never got to have at your favourite pasta place, and I’ll take you to get the jewelry you’ve waited months to get. Then we’ll head back home, and I’ll make sure your legs will be too weak to leave our bed after that, for _days_ …”  
   
“OK, sounds great,” Yuu winces as the mental image in his head comes to an abrupt stop. Sex with Kouyou is the last thing he wants on his mind right now, and Yuu is definitely not in the mood to spew dirty talk to Kouyou over FaceTime in this state of mind. He has to think of an excuse to get out of this, _fast._ “Babe, don’t you have work?”  
   
“What’s work when I have you,” Kouyou frowns.  
   
He eventually sighs, relenting. “Though, I _do_ have to clear some urgent paperwork for tomorrow’s meeting.”  
   
“Then you better get to it,” Yuu says, attempting to sound like the considerate and loving partner he is. “I’ll call you again tonight. Or tomorrow.” He adds ‘tomorrow’ quickly as an afterthought, wondering if he can stand to have another video call with Kouyou so soon.  
   
“I’ll miss you until I see you again,” Kouyou murmurs sweetly to the raven. It _does_ melt at Yuu’s heart a little, and it makes Yuu regret pushing the older man so readily away. “I’ll make sure Kai takes good care of you until you’re back in my arms. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask Kai, okay?”  
   
Yuu nods his head obediently. “I will, Kouyou. Don’t worry too much about me.”  
   
Kouyou chuckles. “You know that’s impossible, right?”  
   
Now Yuu really feels like _shit_. Kouyou only has Yuu’s interests at heart; always has, always will. There’s no excuse for being so unnecessarily cold to his fiancé.  
   
“I… I love you,” Yuu says out, quietly, testing the way those words feel on his lips. It feels… odd. Those words don’t mean like the way they used to. Yuu is overcome with the harrowing realisation that he has traded in his love for Kouyou, completely for Takanori, and there’s nothing he can do about it. Yuu has thought all these while that perhaps what he harbours for Takanori is but a fleeting schoolboy crush, and that he can lose the love for Takanori as easily as one, two, three. He thought he could always resume his life with Kouyou as per usual, and place Takanori in his past if need be.  
   
He hadn’t anticipated he was going to be entirely, wholly, a hundred per cent wrong.  
   
“I love you, too, my princess,” Kouyou coos back, the brightest smile on his face, unsuspecting of Yuu’s absent love.  
   
Yuu doesn’t stay to linger, or exchange never-ending goodbyes, like they usually do.  
   
He taps ‘ _End Call_ ’, then flops onto his back on the bed, wondering how he’ll ever resolve this mess he’s gotten himself into.  
   
~  
   
Takanori dumps the duffel bag he’s carrying over his shoulder onto the single-sized bed in his new room. Taking in a fresh new breath, Takanori surveys his surroundings, knowing he has been allocated what must be one of the worse rooms on this cruise, located on the second lowest level. He’d suspected it when he’d first been led to the workers’ quarters; where plenty of the staff employees were staying in, ranging from mechanics to waiters to even room attendants. His guess had been right – Kai truly does see him as nothing more than an employee for the Takashimas, and will rightfully treat him so. It’s not Kai’s fault for assuming such a thought, because it really is what Takanori is. Takanori can’t dispute that.  
   
The room is small, by luxury cruise sizes, but it’s enough for Takanori. There’s a bed, a table, a closet, and a convenient adjoining bathroom, and that’s all Takanori needs. There’s no window, of course, there’s no need for a view underwater, but Takanori doesn’t mind. He takes a seat on the bed, deciding to rest for a bit, and examines his wound. His leg has been freshly bandaged over, and has been cleanly disinfected by the doctor that had seen him earlier. To his surprise, the doctor had been more than just efficient and skilled at his job, and had clearly been paid well to be aboard this ship. Takanori doesn’t doubt that his leg will heal in record time, after having been given such meticulous treatment by the doctor.  
   
He pulls the medication the doctor had given to him out from his pocket, casually looking at them in his hands. Other than the usual ointment to be applied daily to his wounds, there are a couple bottles of painkillers that Takanori has never seen before, discreetly labelled ‘ _Rosemary_ ’. The doctor had laughed it off when Takanori questioned the coincidental name, and said it was a highly coveted for medicine in the market. Takanori didn’t bother questioning much after that.  
   
Placing the medication aside, Takanori unzips his duffle bag and inspects his possessions inside, making sure his guns, money and clothes are still intact. He then busies himself with hanging up a few shirts and pants in the closet, and takes a quick shower after that, grateful to be given facilities to be clean again.  
   
When he’s done clothing himself in more acceptable clothing and placed a clean mask back on, he hobbles out his door, a little uncertain of what to do next when he realises he has no idea where Yuu is. Perhaps he’ll be wherever Kai is? Takanori stands at his doorstep hesitantly, watching as numerous staff members pass him by busily, until he finally decides to stop one of them and question Kai’s whereabouts.  
   
“Excuse me… Do you know where I can find Kai?”  
   
“Oh, Takashima?” The man looks down to his wrist-watch. “Probably having dinner upstairs. It’s seven, so he’ll be having his private dinner with guests as usual.”  
   
Private dinner? Takanori’s confused by the term. Is that where Yuu will be?  
   
“Where can I find him?” Takanori asks.  
   
“ _Oh,_ no, we can’t go there, unless we’ve been instructed to. The buffet dinner for staff employees is available up one level. You can have your dinner there.”  
   
Takanori frowns. “But I’m looking for someone–”  
   
“Sorry, I have to go now,” the man says apologetically, then speed-walks off. “Have a good meal.”  
   
“I see,” Takanori says quietly, more to himself, and finds his stomach being punched in the gut at the knowledge that he probably won’t be seeing Yuu anytime soon; at least, not for tonight.  
   
In fact, it’s the first night since he’s met Yuu that they won’t be having dinner together. Takanori briefly wonders if that meal at the breakfast diner was really going to be their last. He hadn’t known back then. He hadn’t treasured it enough.  
   
But maybe it’s easier this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how Kouyou looks like --> [Picture](http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmqw6bERTD1qfk3rq.jpg) | This is how Yuu's suite on the cruise looks like --> [Picture](http://media.architecturaldigest.com/photos/571556229ed5af6a73fbd17a/master/pass/luxury-cruise-suites-08.jpg)
> 
> It's so hard making Kouyou villain-esque because I love his character so much ;_; In my mind he truly doesn't understand that he's hurting Yuu, he's just INCREDIBLY protective and wants Yuu to do nothing but frolick around in his bed wearing nothing but jewelry lol. Looks like some _things_ have changed ;)
> 
> I'll try to keep the steady updates going ^_^
> 
> I love all your comments as usual! ;_;


	12. Chapter 12

Yuu is downright _miserable._  
   
He tries to feign interest in the small talk being conducted around the dinner table, but feels boredom quickly overtaking him as he fingers his spoon and stirs it lightly within his bowl of soup. He can hear rambunctious laughter in the background, most of it contributed by Kai – seated on his left, at the head of the dinner table – as well as other equally affluent guests, but Yuu has nothing to contribute to the conversation. The waiter standing directly behind him approaches him every ten minutes to ask if he’s dissatisfied with his food, or if he needs a drink, and Yuu shakes his head to decline each time.  
   
Apparently, it’s usual for Kai to hold highly exclusive dinner parties every night on _Rosemary_ , often only selectively inviting the ten most influential and loaded guests to partake in it, and needless to say, Yuu – by his association to Kouyou – has been invited to every one of them. They have an exquisite seven-course meal, all whipped up freshly by a Michelin star chef invited on board, each dish specially curated by Kai himself. The dinner parties are held behind closed doors in a private room, and only a handful of senior attendants are allowed to serve them. The table décor is completely overdone, the wine is ever-flowing, and each guest is waited on hand and foot like they are royalty.  
   
Of course, with such lavish attention being splashed onto each guest, it’s only natural that the guests are able to provide Kai with something in return – each of them have familial connections to businesses that will definitely come useful to the brunet. All Kai needs to do is to provide them with a good time, and in return they’ll be able to put in a nice word or two about the brunet to whomever matters. Obviously, Takanori does not rank high on this list – if he even ranks at all – and so does not secure an invitation to this dinner party, much to Yuu’s dismay. It’d made up the bulk of his disappointment when he’d arrived here, but Yuu knows Kai has no reason to give Takanori preferential treatment. After all, Kai doesn’t think of Takanori as anything more than an employee. While to _Yuu_ … Takanori means everything.  
   
And all of these royalty treatment is nothing new to Yuu, because it’s the kind of treatment that Kouyou likes and often arranges for Yuu back at home, but it’s already resembling so much to the life that Yuu has always known, and it depresses him. Kai has also been generous with his hospitality, and has provided Yuu with all the make-up and clothes he needs to attire himself properly like the self-respecting Shiroyama heir he is. Dark eyeliner accentuates Yuu’s pristine eyes, and his nude lips have been tinged pink, painting him in utmost desirability. He has opted for a plain, light blue dress shirt for tonight, paired with a casual suede-made slim blazer; hugging and fitting on his slender body. And Yuu knows he has earned plenty of stares ever since he has walked into this room, whether out of admiration or jealousy – Yuu doesn’t know, or care.  
   
Yuu feels… _feels_ like himself again, and yet he doesn’t feel like himself at all. Does that make sense? Yuu doesn’t know if he truly belongs here anymore. _If_ he wants to belong here at all. Seated next to folks who take mindless pleasure in discussing the latest marriage or divorce of whomever that runs in their circles; always with some snarky or awful commentary to be made on business that wasn’t even of their concern. They laugh at things Yuu has never found funny – even if the raven has always been a master of faking interest and smiles to gain approval of his audience. Yuu finds that he doesn’t really care now, though. He doesn’t care at all, and would much rather have Takanori here beside him, eating with him in peace.  
   
Takanori has never been much of a talker, but that’s fine with Yuu, who loves to instigate conversations with him anyway, and force out his thoughts from within the blond assassin’s lips. Takanori’s so… _different_ , and Yuu enjoys learning as much as he can from him, from his background, from his experiences, from his unconventional perspective of the world that’s so unlike the company Yuu is more accustomed to. He loves seeing the smile on Takanori’s lips, knowing that Yuu alone is the reason for that smile. He loves his _everything_.  
   
Yuu unconsciously scowls to himself as he lifts his head and scans the rest of the guests seated around the dinner table; they’re all mostly daughters and sons of wealthy families, just like him, whiling their days away with not much purpose at all. Yuu used to be like that… superficial, shallow, completely vacuous; Yuu used to not have a single care in the world, treating life as nothing more than a huge ball of fun. Yuu’s different now, though. Yuu has new dreams and aspirations, and all of them involve Takanori in some form or another. Yuu doesn’t know how he’ll return to his old life like this. Yuu can no longer find contentment or happiness in the things he used to enjoy. Yuu… Yuu’s a changed person, and he hadn’t even realised it until now. _Oh,_ what he would give to be running down the streets with Takanori, hand-in-hand, again. They’d been so free…  
   
“Hey, Yuu… You okay?”  
   
Yuu feels a hand gently palming his shoulder, and the raven turns to his left, coming into sight with a rather concerned gaze from Kai.  
   
“You’re quiet,” Kai murmurs softly, and he’s bending his head over to speak more privately with the raven. Yuu’s eyes flutter away to the sides. “You’re not your usual self… I see you haven’t eaten much at all.”  
   
“I’m just tired,” Yuu sighs out, faking a headache as he raises a finger to massage at his temples. “It’s been overwhelming, the past few days.”  
   
“I’m sure it must be,” Kai nods in understanding, and lifts a hand to beckon for an attendant to head over to their side. “I’ll have you escorted to your room so you can get an early rest. I’ll arrange for someone to be at your beck and call. If you ever need anything, just let them know, okay?”  
   
“That’s really not necessary,” Yuu shakes his head. “I’ll be fine on my own.”  
   
“ _Shhh_ ,” Kai hushes Yuu, smiling to him. “I must only give you the best – Kouyou said so himself. Have a good rest, OK? I’ll see you for dinner again tomorrow.”  
   
“I… well, okay,” Yuu sighs once more, seeing no reason to deny the brunet when he only has good intentions at heart. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”  
   
“Have any special requests?” Kai cheekily questions, and Yuu has to smile at how adorable the brunet is, sometimes. Kai’s only a year younger than him, but he really is so different from his older brother. “I’ll make sure tomorrow’s cuisine is to your taste. Can’t risk disappointing my guest-of-honor, can I?”  
   
“ _I’m_ your guest-of-honor?” Yuu laughs quietly at the revelation. Kai has always been so overly nice to him; so devoted to impressing him since their very first meeting together. Perhaps it’s because Kai has always idolised his older brother, in every aspect and way possible; and since Yuu is Kouyou’s first choice, Kai naturally adopts his brother’s favouritism and goes out of his way to please the raven-haired. Yuu likes Kai, he really does, and has expressed as such to Kouyou multiple times.  
   
“Of course you are,” Kai grins to the raven-haired man. “We’re going to be family. Aren’t we?”  
   
Yuu’s heart pricks at the thought. Kai already treats Yuu as part of the Takashima family, when Yuu’s been entertaining so many thoughts of no longer being one. If Kai knew how much Yuu had been thinking of a certain assassin, instead of his rightful fiancé, Yuu knew he’d be so, _so_ upset.  
   
“Of course we are,” Yuu answers quietly.  
   
And he leaves it at that.  
   
The attendant strides over and helps Yuu out of his seat, and the raven readies himself to leave as he bids goodbye to the rest of the guests in attendance. And then, _just_ before he departs from the dinner table, an idea strikes him and he’s turning his head urgently back to Kai, a glimmer of light _finally_ sparking from within his previously downcast eyes.  
   
“ _Hey_ … Since I’m your guest-of-honor, can I just have one, small, special request?”  
   
~  
   
Takanori finds he doesn’t really have much of an appetite now that Yuu is no longer around, and so he skips the buffet dinner that’s offered to him, and has taken to wandering around _Rosemary_ ’s numerous hallways and exploring its facilities. The luxury cruise is bustling with _life_ , and no matter where he goes, he’ll meet with people rushing by him with plenty of purpose; whether it’s a guest looking to head to a party, or attendants running around to serve them with food and delicacies. Takanori isn’t dressed in uniform, and so no one questions him as he stumbles from hallway to hallway, with many easily mistaking him as a guest – albeit a rather shoddily dressed one.  
   
This entire experience on _Rosemary_ is surreal. Takanori has never lived so over-the-top before. When Takanori’s not busy with a task or a mission, he usually spends his time reading whatever he can get his hands on in his one-bedroom apartment, located in the quieter parts of his bad neighbourhood. The rent is cheap, and he doesn’t need much to get by. He lives in a dangerous area, yes, where gangs are rampant and guns and drugs are easy to access, but considering what Takanori does for a living, he’s well-confident in the fact that he can protect himself. Sometimes, if he needs company, he’ll drop by Akira’s place, whiling time away inspecting the guns in Akira’s possession. Takanori lives very simply – there’s no need for much entertainment or luxury at all, and perhaps this is why Takanori has managed to acquire such a large amount of savings for a man his age.  
   
Takanori eventually finds himself pushing past large, wide doors and entering a main hall of sorts, where majority of the guests gather, in what seems to be a party. He’d seen many people come and go from here, and had thought to explore what exactly was the main attraction present in this room. The first thing that hits Takanori’s nose as he enters past the doors is a sickeningly sweet-smelling, strangely addictive chemical smell, one that he can’t quite place his finger on; and the second thing he notices is how dimly lit the room is, the lights drenching the room in dark purple and pink hues, making most faces indistinguishable from afar. As slow, jazz music plays in the background, most guests lounge around on the lush sofa beds littering the room, quietly whispering and chatting amongst themselves, whilst attendants stand to the sides near the walls, a tray on hand, with glasses of unidentifiable liquor ready to be served. Whiffs of smoke fill the air every so often, when the occasional guest smokes with a bong in their hand; and that’s when the sweet aroma thickens the most, alerting Takanori to the source of the smell.  
   
It’s not a normal party, that much Takanori knows. People aren’t as chatty as how they usually are in normal gala events, and most of them look… _off._ Like their heads are not completely there, and are someplace else. In fact, most of them look… _sick._ He’s cautious as he takes careful steps into the room, observing the behaviour of the people around him. It’s hard to make out much in this sort of environment, but he can tell most – if not _all_ – of them are on _something_. It can’t be normal alcohol, because their eyes are bloodshot, dilated, and – Takanori’s only now noticing this – their hands are scratching at their arms every so often, which evidently look sore and bruised purple with unsightly markings. It’s an awful sight.  
   
It all clicks together instantly in the blond’s head once he pieces all of the information together. _They’re on drugs_. Takanori has stumbled his way into some kind of a drug party, made up of rich occupants. Well, it’s not like Takanori’s surprised. It’s not as if these people have anything better to do; _of course_ they’ll resort to such form of pleasures. Still, Takanori’s confused as to why such a party is _so_ easily accessible by the main entrance, where most people would assume would be a normal event hall. It’s not as if this is the highlight of the cruise, is it? Wouldn’t they at least host a party like this somewhere more discreet? It mindboggles the blond.  
   
“Good evening, sir. Would you like a glass of _Rosemary_?”  
   
Takanori thoughts are interrupted by a server who has made his way to the assassin’s side, no doubt assuming Takanori to be another guest needing attention.  
   
Wait. _Rosemary_?  
   
“Excuse me… Could you repeat the name of the drink again?”  
   
Takanori frowns when he glances to the many wine glasses filled up with some sort of red liquor on the tray before him. _Rosemary_? Takanori has heard that name _way_ too many times to suspect that something’s going on here. It’d been printed onto the label on the bottle of pills that the doctor had given him, who’d introduced it simply to Takanori as ‘effective painkillers’ that would help him numb his pain. Well, _clearly_ he’s left some very important information out, if Takanori’s suspicions as to what it really is are correct.  
   
“Rosemary,” the server answers in a dull tone. “The cruise’s very own namesake drink. Touted to be the world’s eighth wonder… Specially concocted for your rich pleasure on this voyage home.” He says it all as if he’s simply reading off a script, too.  
   
“What’s it made of? Where’s it from?” Takanori questions, warily, his eyes narrowing as he speaks. He’s certain the drug has been mixed with the drink, and he can’t afford to give it a taste when he knows how easily it might cloud his senses. He has never been one for drugs; he’d tried it a few times in his youth, found that they often compromised his ability to perform his job efficiently, and decided to stay away from them altogether, having never found much enjoyment in such… ‘pleasures’. He rather not put himself at risk of being harmed by others when he’s in a delusional state, when he knows just how enemies he already has made.  
   
“It’s made of a little bit of everything, to provide you the highest form of sophisticated and otherworldly pleasure,” the server answers, monotonely, reading off yet another script in his head. “It’s widely known as one of Takashima’s own creations. A well-known secret amongst the elite, of course. _Rosemary_ is not available on the normal market.”  
   
Takanori’s frown deepens at the insight. _I see._ The fact that the server sugar-coats _Rosemary_ and doesn’t readily reveal the ingredients of the drug gives Takanori reason to suspect that it’s made out of some deadly substances that would _otherwise_ not be permitted on normal country grounds. That should be the main attraction of the drug, anyway, going by how exclusive passage to these cruises are.  
   
“Your boss creates drugs? So this is what the entire cruise is about? For holding illegal drug parties?”  
   
Why is Takanori so shocked, anyway? He has come across far worse things in other missions. Illegal drug parties for the wealthy to indulge in, on expensive luxury cruises, pale so much in comparison.  
   
The server appears confused by Takanori’s surprise, and snaps out of his routine script reading. “Pardon me, sir, but is that _not_ why you have paid for voyage on this ship?”  
   
Takanori decides he has learnt all he needs to know, and waves the server off. “I won’t be having a glass.”  
   
The man leaves his presence after that, and Takanori scans the people around him one last time, wondering anxiously if he’ll find Yuu’s face amongst one of them. So. Kai’s a drug dealer, huh. No, calling him a drug dealer’s a huge underestimation. Kai’s a… drug _lord_? Well, it certainly explains the excessive, showy dressing, and Kai’s need to flaunt his wealth. Actually, it explains a _lot_ of things, and raises a whole lot more other questions. If Kai’s business runs solely on the fact that he distributes illegally concoted drugs exclusively to whomever can afford it on his luxury cruise liners – Takanori is sure Kai has more than just _Rosemary_ – then is this just a part of the Takashima family’s chain of illegal underground activities, or is Kai alone in this, and is only doing so to make a living? Does Kouyou know? Because Takanori wonders how Kouyou can be fine with it, when it poses such a huge risk to Kouyou’s reputation as the president of the Takashima Group, if news leak out that his half-brother distributes illegal drugs. Or does Kouyou support Kai’s businesses, and perhaps even partake in them himself?  
   
And most importantly, does Yuu ever get involved in these parties? Because Takanori can hardly imagine Yuu to be the type to indulge in such drug parties, and it actually makes Takanori sick to the stomach to picture Yuu as another one of these people lying out on the sofa beds, completely drugged out of his mind, his cheeks gaunt and hollow, his arms covered with fresh bruises and evidence of a supposed drug addiction. Yuu… Yuu’s so healthy, so happy, so perky all the time, and Takanori doesn’t want Yuu to fall down the throes of such a path. Takanori has a gut feeling that Yuu doesn’t know much about the happenings on this cruise at all, because otherwise, the raven-haired wouldn’t be so trusting of Kai, wouldn’t be so surprised to see Kai roaming around these parts of the world.  
   
Judging by how Kai has been treating Yuu so far… Takanori has no doubt that the brunet will eventually introduce Yuu to one of his drug parties, and Takanori doesn’t wish for Yuu to be pressured into doing something he doesn’t want to do, no. He’s filled with a ton of unease, overcome with a need to safeguard Yuu from any potential danger, and he knows he needs to find Yuu and tell him of his discovery as soon as possible.  
   
Problem is – Takanori has no idea where the raven-haired man is.  
   
No problem can’t be easily solved by the blond, however. Takanori heads over to the mini-bar set up by the side of the room, inconspicuously grabbing for a tray of wine glasses conveniently set down by the side. He slips out of the hall holding it high up to his chest, then keeps his head down as he stalks his way over to an attendant keeping watch by the walls, hoping he’d pass off as a fellow staff employee.  
   
“I’ve been instructed to deliver some liquor to Shiroyama Yuu,” Takanori keeps his voice as professional-sounding as possible. “Didn’t get the memo on what his room number is. Do you know where he stays?”  
   
“Oh, Shiroyama? He’s in 703. The suite on the highest deck.”  
   
 _There._ Easy-peasy. Takanori nods, then trudges his way off, conveniently dumping the tray of liquor onto an empty table when he has turned corners and is fully out of the attendant’s sight. Takanori grunts slightly as he makes his way to the nearest elevator, his eyes glancing down to eye his wounded leg. It’s definitely healing, thanks to the prompt medical treatment he has received, but it’s still a pain in the ass to deal with, knowing that such an injury can hinder his abilities as an assassin. Hopefully, the rest of their journey on this cruise can be smooth-sailing, and give him the time he needs to rest.  
   
 _For now_ … Takanori enters the empty elevator and presses for the seventh level. He’ll check in on Yuu to ensure he’s still safe, and then maybe Takanori will finally be able to get a good rest tonight.  
   
~  
   
There Yuu is.  
   
Takanori’s voice is in his throat as he watches the raven-haired man from where he’s standing, through an empty space where Yuu’s main door has been left ajar. Clearly a rookie mistake – Yuu has left a tray of half-eaten dessert lying outside of his room, and Takanori can only guess that the raven hadn’t made sure his door was fully closed and locked before turning his back on it, like the naïve and trusting person he is. Takanori sighs at the thought, wondering if it really is okay for Takanori to be leaving Yuu’s side, even if Yuu seems to be in good hands on this ship. Takanori still doesn’t trust Kai completely, _especially_ now that he knows what Kai does for a living, but the brunet seems to be taking extra care to give Yuu the best treatment possible. Yuu’s suite is extravagant – excessive, even – and Yuu seems to clothed in much nicer clothes now, looking more like the part of the wealthy heir he is. Yuu doesn’t seem to be drugged up or consuming anything dangerous, so Takanori doesn’t have to worry about that for now at least.  
   
In fact… Doesn’t he seem a _bit_ too happy now that Takanori’s not around? Takanori observes Yuu quietly, watches as the raven makes himself comfortable on the deluxe sofa bed that’s in his living room, holding a large iPad on hand. Attired in a loose grey shirt and baggy pants, Yuu looks ready for bed, but he seems preoccupied with talking with whomever is on the other side of that FaceTime call, something that punches Takanori faintly in the gut. He already has a firm guess to whom it is, and he doesn’t like the thought of it very much.  
   
“I _told_ you, you don’t have to call me again when you already have to wake up so early tomorrow…” Yuu’s playful groan stabs into every inch and crevice of Takanori’s beating heart. “What do you mean _you can’t sleep without my voice_?! Takashima Kouyou, do you know how old you are? I’m not here to babysit a thirty-two year old…”  
   
If Takanori didn’t think he was jealous before, he was definitely jealous now. Yuu’s casual friendliness with Kai is _nothing_ compared to this. Talking to his rightful lover? Playfully bantering with him, too? Takanori can’t stand to watch this; watch Yuu forget Takanori ever existed in an instant, watch Yuu laugh and giggle to every word his fiancé says. Yuu… Yuu’s only allowed to do that with _me_ , Takanori thinks, hands at his sides curling into fists, and he even surprises himself with the utterly malicious, completely selfish thoughts that cross his mind. That’s supposed to be _me._ You _shouldn’t_ be so happy when I’m not around. _I’m_ the one that deserves your flirtatious smiles like that.  
   
 _I love you so much, and you’re already conveniently forgetting that I exist –_  
   
And Takanori knows it’s wrong of him to think like that. He doesn’t deserve to feel this way. He _knows_ he’s not Yuu’s rightful lover. Kouyou truly deserves that position instead, and Takanori has established this to Yuu so many times, over and over, that Takanori doesn’t deserve Yuu. Kouyou does, and Kouyou will make Yuu happy, and Yuu should always choose Kouyou over him. Because Takanori’s not made to love, or be loved. Takanori can’t provide Yuu the kind of happiness, or lifestyle, he needs. Takanori doesn’t want to disappoint Yuu in any way, or have Yuu settle for less, just for the novelty of some ‘nobel love’. Takanori can’t have Yuu make sacrifices like that for him; it’d be too unfair.  
   
It’d all seemed right in retrospect, but seeing it happen before his very eyes is another thing. Having Yuu readily choose someone so much better over Takanori, someone who can definitely provide him with everything he needs, someone who’s worthy of Yuu’s prestige… Takanori… Takanori doesn’t know what to do. It’s his first time genuinely falling in love with someone, and all the emotions resulting from it frighten him. Takanori has never felt so envious before, so bitter, so resentful, and Takanori doesn’t doubt that he’d give up all that he had in a heartbeat, if only to get a chance to be with Yuu. Takanori _can’t_ stand seeing another man make Yuu so happy like that, when Takanori… Takanori thought he had something special with the raven. Because Yuu makes Takanori feel like he suddenly has purpose in this world, and Takanori wants Yuu to feel that when he’s with the assassin, too.  
   
And it hurts. It _hurts_. Takanori’s pulling away from the door, blinking back angry, heartbroken moisture from his eyes. His heart breaks by the millisecond as he hears Yuu’s laughter ring out, and he’s turning his head away, frustrated at the sight. He’s not sure who he’s more mad at – Yuu or Kouyou, or perhaps even himself. He knows he doesn’t deserve to feel this way – he knows it better than anyone else.  
   
“You’re being so _annoying_ , when I just want to sleep…” Yuu moans out, kicking up his legs as he lays spread out on the sofa. “What? You’re thinking of flying here to see me? I mean, Kai joked about that, but… Isn’t that too much? What happened to the meeting tomorrow? Honestly, you’re such a dreadful CEO, the only reason your company will collapse is because of me…”  
   
Takanori takes in a long, scarring breath, one that sends air rushing past down his broken and battered heart, and weakly loosens his fists.  
   
Yuu fits with Kouyou. Yuu _belongs_ to Kouyou. Yuu was never Takanori’s, and the blond had so conveniently forgotten that just because of the momentary happiness Yuu had brought to his life. Well, never again. Takanori won’t forget that any longer. He’d risked everything, falling in love, and it’d gotten him nowhere. Love is just an illusion, isn’t it? It’s a fleeting illusion, and Takanori doesn’t know why he thought he ever deserved some in this lifetime.  
   
He can’t even remember why he’d come here to Yuu’s doorstep in the first place, and soon drags his feet away from Yuu’s room, feeling the worst he has ever felt in his entire life.  
   
Yuu thinks he hears a sound, but when he turns his head to check, there’s already no one at his door.  
   
~  
   
Takanori _sulks_.  
   
He’s being incredibly childish, he knows, but he’s never had a proper childhood, and maybe the past twenty-seven years of burying any possible emotion has repressed him and it’s all finally being unleashed now. Takanori spends the next day completely in his room, doing nothing but lay spread out on his bed, his thick covers wrapped around his sullen form. He doesn’t leave his room, he doesn’t get any food, he doesn’t see any need to get dressed and act like a decent human being and _do something_. Instead, Takanori chooses to lie in his bed all day, depressed and completely shattered, rewinding painful memories with Yuu in his mind. He hates it. Hates _this_. This isn’t him, and he has always thought men who lost themselves completely to love to be incredibly foolish, incredibly stupid. Except now Takanori fully knows _why_ they’d feel that way. Yuu means everything to him, and Takanori has to suck it up and swallow down the fact that he’s not good enough for the raven. He’s not good enough for anything.  
   
He stares into blank space for an entire day, occasionally punching a pillow or two and letting out an annoyed, dismal grunt, until he tires himself out and finds himself curling back up on the bed, wishing he was with Yuu instead. He briefly contemplates living out the rest of his existence like this, lying in bed and refusing to ever get up and face harsh reality, until at approximately six in the evening, he hears a knock on his door, forcing him to _actually_ leave his bed and do something with his life.  
   
The attendant standing at his door doesn’t even flinch at the sight of a dishevelled Takanori greeting him, with his blond hair sticking out in all sorts of places, his eyes entirely lifeless and empty, the rest of his body hunched and swaddled in a pile of wrinkled blankets. Here lies a man who has lost all sense of purpose, but it seems like the attendant has seen too many like this one.  
   
“Your presence has been requested at Takashima’s private dinner that begins in an hour. Here’s your suit,” the attendant thrusts a freshly ironed black suit encased in a dry-cleaning bag over into Takanori’s hands, and it takes Takanori a few seconds to snap out of it and register the attendant’s instructions.  
   
“Private dinner?” Takanori widens his eyes, frowning. _Where Yuu will be?_  
   
“Please do not be late. I will return to escort you fifteen minutes before it starts.”  
   
Did Yuu ask for this?  
   
And for some reason, the mere thought of Yuu asking to see him is enough to patch back some of the fragments of his splintered heart. Takanori’s fingers grip harder at the suit in his hands, gazing down to it hopefully, wondering if perhaps he’s not all that forgotten after all.  
   
 _Or maybe he’s just lying to himself._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I've updated 2 chapters at one go. Have you read the previous chapter yet?**
> 
> Takanori looks like this in this chapter --> [picture 1](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K_2dCQi4zwc/VWQfsoPT4fI/AAAAAAAADGc/O_njoWUsZro/s1600/Ruki-The-GazettE-ruki-27224322-945-1023.jpg) | [picture 2](https://68.media.tumblr.com/2ec657b8d28017d8823b8775e33c748b/tumblr_ok3812uoqP1rtf9v6o1_1280.jpg)  
> 

He’ll be arriving any minute now.  
  
Yuu’s so excited, he can barely wipe the grin off his face. The other dinner guests that have already arrived have attempted to make small talk with him, but Yuu has missed Takanori _way_ too much, in the day they’ve been apart, to be able to concentrate on anything else. Yuu is kept on the edge as he’s seated around the dinner table, and he’s happily gazing down to the empty plate in front of him, his heart pounding furiously at the thought of seeing the brunet again. He knows it’s not his fault that Kai has kept them apart, but he’s still apologetic for not checking up on Takanori when he’s been so badly hurt, and Yuu notes to himself he has to make it up to Takanori later for that.  
  
Everyone is exceedingly punctual, no doubt wanting to keep up appearances and show respect for Kai as the host; and in no time, every guest has filed in through the doors and been ushered to their respective seats. Takanori appears like a dream when he comes, following quietly behind an attendant, strutting in past the doors with much hesitance clouding his eyes. Yuu has to stop himself from jumping out of his seat and calling for Takanori’s name – in fact, the mere sight of the blond is already making him giddy with smiles.  
  
And he’s not wearing his mask.  
  
Takanori’s… different. He’s made an effort to be _different_. In fact, it’s so unlike the Takanori that Yuu is so used to seeing, the one draped in ragged black clothes all over, concealing almost every inch possible of his skin. The Takanori that never let anyone see him beyond his made up eyes; the Takanori that hid every part of his soul away to the naked eye, with nothing to offer, nothing to ever give. And perhaps it’s because that façade has never been Takanori, truly; it has always been _Ruki_ , the assassin, the murderor, the one with the killer instinct, the one that isn’t supposed to have heart.  
  
_This_ Takanori, however… Yuu’s eyes innocently travel down Takanori’s body, mentally taking in the ravishing sight he’s being awarded. Yuu won’t say the blond’s _completely_ proper, because he doesn’t think that’s Takanori’s style, he doesn’t think Takanori will ever wish to trade in his rugged looks for Kouyou’s kind of cleaned up suits. But Takanori’s dressed up much more respectable, much more gentlemanly than usual, and Yuu’s sure that Takanori has made more than a few heads turn upon his entrance. There’s still a slight limp in the way Takanori walks, but his bandaged wound is obscured by the dark pants he’s wearing, and Takanori carries himself in a way that doesn’t bring much attention to his leg.  
  
Takanori looks good in the suit he’s been gifted, where he’s allowed the top few buttons of his white dress shirt go un-buttoned, whilst wearing a formal black vest over. It fits his hunky built perfectly, and seeing the cuffs of his sleeves end around his evidently muscled arms has Yuu swallowing saliva tightly down his throat. Takanori’s blond hair has been messily styled nicely in a way that it frames his face, and accentuates his strong features. Some of his hair is pulled back, exposing the metal earrings that would otherwise be hidden under his usual get-up. The dark eyeshadow he has on brings out his eyes, and there’s a strange softness to his face that Yuu isn’t too used to seeing.  
  
Takanori locks eyes inquisitively with Yuu, and Yuu forgets to breathe.  
  
For a moment the attendant looks lost, stopping in their tracks, as if wondering where Kai has possibly intended Takanori to sit, but Yuu quickly clears that up by standing up abruptly from his seat and waving Takanori over to his side. Takanori’s brow raises, amused by Yuu’s enthusiasm, but doesn’t question it. By the time the attendant leaves them, and Takanori is comfortably seated next to Yuu, Yuu’s beaming from ear to ear, his grin never leaving his face.  
  
“You look great,” Yuu starts off, and he wonders why Takanori’s eyes keep looking at him like _that_ – like he’s confused why he’s here, like he’s gone passive and cold, much like the Ruki Yuu had initially known. “I’ve never seen you in a suit before. And your mask is off. You look good. _Really_ good.”  
  
Takanori makes a sound akin to a grunt, and averts his gaze. He doesn’t respond immediately, and it worries the raven. Takanori has always been quiet, yes, but Yuu had thought he’d broken down those walls long ago.  
  
“Does the wound still hurt? Will you let me see?” Yuu asks, concerned, and he’s reaching a hand over to touch, but Takanori blocks him instantly with an armed grip.  
  
“It’s fine,” Takanori mutters, and Yuu’s eyes grow wide with shock as he pulls his hand back instinctively from the blond’s touch, almost red and bruising from how hard and forceful Takanori’s grip had been. Takanori doesn’t seem to be in the best mood, but Yuu had thought he’d have missed him in all the time they’ve spent apart. It pricks at Yuu’s heart just a tad bit to have every of his words and action meet with such harsh responses, but all Yuu can do is pull silently away with wounded eyes.  
  
“I missed you,” Yuu manages to say, seconds later, in a soft whisper. The blond assassin openly flinches at his words, and Yuu wonders what he has done wrong. They’ve only spent less than day apart from each other, and Takanori’s already reverting back to the stranger Yuu had first known him as. And to think they’d only been smiling and telling each other how much they loved the other just days ago – Yuu can still feel the way Takanori’s lips feel against every inch of his skin.  
  
“I’m sure you did,” Takanori answers snarkily with a snarl, and the venom in his voice is enough to make Yuu recoil in hurt and confusion. No _I missed you, too_? No _I’ve been thinking of you_? Yuu’s beginning to feel like he’d completely dreamed up the genuine side to Takanori.  
  
“I’m sorry, did I…” Yuu frowns, looking at him. “Did I do something wrong?” Because Yuu wants to know if he did, and Yuu wants to know if he’d hurt or angered Takanori in any way. Yuu doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment from the blond at all, and he wants to know the reason why Takanori’s so adamantly pushing him away.  
  
“You’re going to have to tell me if I did,” Yuu persists, stubborn. Takanori keeps his silence, and he’s gazing off into the distance, as if he doesn’t wish to partake in this conversation with Yuu at all. “Is this because I haven’t seen you since last night? You know it’s going to be hard for us, around here–”  
  
“I’m not asking for anything,” Takanori growls. “And it’s not like _I’m_ your fiancé, so you don’t have to accommodate my _anything_.”  
  
Yuu lets his words affect him more than they should, and his face is crestfallen. “But… you know I care for you.”  
  
Takanori tries to look unmoved, but something in him pauses at the sound of Yuu’s miserably said words. Yuu has always been so fragile, so precious in his eyes, and to hear the raven-haired go weak because of him makes him overridden with guilt.  
  
“I wonder if you tell your fiancé that,” Takanori responds dryly, and Yuu doesn’t get it, not right away, not until Kai has entered the room and settled into the seat – the head of the dinner table – next to the raven himself. Kai is quick to send the signal for dinner courses to start being served, and he takes Yuu’s attention off Takanori as soon as he can.  
  
“How was your sleep last night?” Kai asks the raven, smiling. There’s always a boyish grin etched wide on his face whenever he speaks to Yuu, and Yuu always feels obliged to reciprocate Kai’s obvious enthusiasm in getting to know his brother’s fiancé.  
  
“Great! Had the nicest sleep I’ve gotten in _days_ ,” Yuu remarks off-handedly.  
  
“Huh,” Takanori acknowledges in amusement from his side, and Yuu suddenly realises perhaps that might not have been the best thing to say in Takanori’s presence. _Ugh_. Having to juggle both appearances is definitely not easy, and frankly, stressing Yuu out.  
  
“I’m sure it must be, what with the past tumultuous days and whatnot,” Kai nods, satisfied to know that Yuu’s pleased with his service so far. “Kouyou’s really looking forward to seeing you again. Keeps talking about flying over to see you. He’s really excessive, isn’t he?”  
  
“You _know_ him,” Yuu makes a face, though he’s silently fearful of such an idea. He doesn’t know how he can handle being with Kouyou again, not like this, not when he’s still so in love with the blond seated next to him. “It’s a wonder how a man like that runs his own company.”  
  
“Well, it’s not like I’m surprised,” Kai laughs, and his eyes are suddenly glazing over Yuu’s frame. It makes Yuu slightly self-conscious, but he doesn’t question it. “I’m sure Kouyou’s not the first man to be so enamoured with you.”  
  
Yuu is fazed for a second, unsure of how to take that. In other circumstances, Yuu would have acknowledged that to be blatant _flirting_ with him, but this is Kai, and he’s Kouyou’s younger brother, and Yuu thinks Kai’s just being excessively nice to him, just like how Kouyou usually is. Kai idolises Kouyou so much, after all, and always emulates him to the best of his ability. So Yuu just swallows his compliment down with a soft smile, brushing the comment off as easy as it comes.  
  
“You’re too nice, just like your brother.”  
  
“And _you’re_ very deserving,” Kai grins, and Yuu smiles further, uncertain on how to react. “I hope you don’t think I’m just like Kouyou, though. We’re very different.”  
  
“I recognise that,” Yuu nods. “You know… All _this_ ,” the raven gestures to his surroundings. “It’s amazing. I mean, Kouyou told me it was all you. Your idea. And the whole business has been very successful, thanks to your hard work and ingenuity.”  
  
Kai’s face readily beams at the praise that leaves Yuu’s lips. “Well, I’ve always been very ambitious. I’m glad you see that. It’s tough, sometimes, you know, having to live up to the Takashima name…”  
  
“What’s in this drink?”  
  
Takanori’s harsh tone of voice immediately pulls Yuu’s attention back to his side, and the raven’s quizzically looking over to the blond assassin stopping the waiter just short of serving Yuu a glass of red wine. Takanori has a grim face on, eyes directing accusatory glances to the innocent waiter, and Yuu’s quickly horrified by how rude Takanori is being in public.  
  
“It’s our cruise’s special _Rosemary_ blend,” the waiter answers quietly, and Takanori immediately scoffs, as if he’d called it prior to even asking.  
  
“Yuu won’t be having it.”  
  
Yuu’s eyes widen at how authoritative Takanori’s suddenly being. “It’s just a drink.”  
  
“Do you have juice instead? Or water? Water would be good,” Takanori snaps in an order to the waiter, and Yuu can feel Kai’s attention swiftly falling unto the blond in curiousity as well. Not good. Yuu doesn’t want Kai to get too close to Takanori in any way, lest Kai find out something he _shouldn’t_ , and the raven resolves to keep his two worlds separate as far as possible.  
  
“It’s just a delicacy,” Kai smiles to the assassin, waving the waiter gently away. “Don’t worry, the level of the content in the drinks being served here aren’t the same as the ones being served downstairs. _If_ that’s what you’re so concerned about, that is. I wouldn’t let Yuu take anything too… strong.” Kai knows, Takanori can tell. Kai has caught on that Takanori has discovered what Kai truly does around here, though Takanori knows Yuu musn’t have a clue as to what the both of them are bantering about.  
  
“What’s wrong with the drink?” Yuu questions with big eyes, frowning at how out of the loop he is. “And why won’t _you_ let me have it?” Yuu’s practically huffing, turning to Takanori.  
  
“I think we’re starting to forget what I’ve been assigned to do around here,” Takanori says through gritted teeth. “I’m here for your security, remember? I cannot, in any way, allow anything to compromise your protection.”  
  
A hint of suspicion flares up within Kai’s eyes. He senses a challenge arising from the blond, and it’s not something that Kai particularly likes. “I see. I understand. Don’t worry, I know Yuu’s not the type. He doesn’t have such acquired… tastes.”  
  
Yuu rolls his eyes. “Alright, so when one of you guys finally realise I’m here, I’ll be ready to hear what’s going on.”  
  
“I just think you shouldn’t so readily trust the drinks or food that are being served on this cruise,” Takanori hisses in concern. “When you don’t know much about the cruise you’re on in the first place.”  
  
“You shouldn’t talk about Kai like that,” Yuu counters angrily, and a victorious smile spreads quickly across Kai’s lips at Yuu so readily coming to his defence. “I know you’re just doing your job, but you shouldn’t be insinuating things about Kai. He’s taken such good care of us so far, and is giving us free passage on his ship. We would have been left for dead back in that country if we hadn’t met him.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Kai cuts in, his anger soothed now that he can tell Yuu’s on his side. Takanori is _fuming_ , but he can tell when he’s on a losing end, and he’s not the type to pursue a matter when _really,_ Takanori shouldn’t care too much, anyway. Yuu can believe in whatever he likes. “Yuu, your friend’s right. Perhaps Kouyou has never been too upfront to you about the kind of businesses I’m running, but we never felt like it would matter much to you.”  
  
Yuu reclines in his seat at the sound of that. “What do you mean?” Kouyou’s not the type to hide things from him.  
  
“I do a specific kind of… _trade_ ,” Kai tries to put it as mildly as he can. “A kind of recreation, if you will. A luxury that only people like us can afford. I’m sure you understand that the Takashima brand is not only built up by my father’s political efforts and Kouyou’s managing of the Takashima Group; our control also extends quite deep into our underground networks.”  
  
“Drugs,” Takanori snaps, going straight to the point. “He’s created illegal drugs, he’s mixed illegal drugs, he’s providing illegal drugs, and possibly smuggling it into the country, if you will. The entire cruise is just an excuse for the rich to get high.”  
  
Kai flashes several irritated looks at Takanori’s intervention, but remains civil for Yuu’s sake.  
  
“Well… Kouyou didn’t mention that,” Yuu finally manages to say, biting his tongue, after all the information sinks down in his head. Yuu isn’t particularly shocked, however. Many families of their status end up doing business with the black market, out of greed and desire to gain more power and influence, and Yuu doesn’t think it to be a crime to know that the Takashima family is the same.  
  
“Kouyou doesn’t want to get you involved too much. It’s understandable,” Kai explains, gently. “I’d like to assure your _friend_ here that I only have your best interests at heart, though. I wouldn’t let you consume anything you wouldn’t consent to. You shouldn’t have to worry about these things when you’re with me.”  
  
“I… Of course I don’t worry when I’m with you,” Yuu hurriedly clears up, but he finally sees why Takanori had been so concerned in the first place. Takanori had only been worried for Yuu, after all, and didn’t want Yuu to be getting into anything he didn’t want to. Yuu doesn’t forget to turn back to the blond, bestowing a soft gaze unto the assassin, a thankful smile on his lips.  
  
“I… I really appreciated you looking out for me like that.”  
  
It completely breaks down the icy walls to Takanori’s heart, and the blond has to sniff and look away, feigning like it never mattered to him anyway.  
  
“You’re right, you _should_ be doing your job a whole lot more,” Yuu offers a small smile to the blond, and Takanori’s certain that the raven’s just _teasing_ him now. “You know I’m defenceless without you.”  
  
Takanori’s eyes flicker off to the sides. “Debatable.” Yuu has held a gun on his own before, and has proven to the blond that he’s perfectly capable of defending himself, given proper time and training.  
  
“Well, it’s true,” Yuu grins, playfulness igniting within his eyes, his hands falling to Takanori’s sides; and Takanori has to hold in a shiver as Yuu’s fingers stroke past his lap. He’s missed Yuu’s touch on him so much, and he’s so _sore_ that he has to hold back. “Someone might whisk me away if you don’t do your job properly, mister assassin.”  
  
Yuu’s flirting heavily with him in plain sight, and Takanori wonders how Yuu can expect Kai to _not_ notice it. Because Yuu’s playing the dangerous game here, and Takanori doesn’t fancy getting murdered on a cruise like this when they’re stranded in the middle of an ocean and he’s clearly on enemy territory.  
  
“I’m sure none of that will be needed when you’re here,” Kai clears his throat, interrupting, and it’s only then that Yuu pulls his hand away, the glint in his eyes instantly vanishing as he puts on his usual cheery, perky front to face Kai. “No one’s going to harm you with me around.”  
  
“I’m sure I’m in good hands with _you_ ,” Yuu purrs, and it brings out a laugh from the brunet. Takanori watches their interactions quietly, wondering if it’s just in Yuu’s nature to appeal naturally to whomever seeks his attention. It’s not a bad thing per say, but Yuu’s – _just_ – so naturally good at bewitching everyone he meets, and it’s no wonder that Yuu’s able to charm _even_ the brother of the man he’s marrying.  
  
Then he remembers about Yuu’s fiancé, and his spirits dampen all over again.  
  
~  
  
When Yuu finally finishes his dessert, an attendant is called over to take Yuu back to his room, but Takanori intervenes and says he’ll be able to do that for the raven. After all, Takanori has been tasked by Kouyou himself to take care of Yuu, and what use is Takanori if he doesn’t even bother performing his role? Kai had looked hesitant to let Yuu go with the blond, but Yuu had no complaints, and Kai hadn’t wanted to go against the raven’s wishes. And so off the pair went, strutting down the hallways unattended, finally finding an opportunity to talk alone amongst each other.  
  
Except that they go entirely silent, and it’s as if they’ve forgotten how it’s like to be with each other. They don’t say a single word until they’ve entered the elevator, and even then, they’re avoiding each other’s gazes.  
  
Then they step off unto Yuu’s floor, and the raven-haired breaks.  
  
“You’re angry at me,” Yuu begins, halting to a stop in his steps. “You’ve been angry at me since you walked into the room and saw me. Are you going to tell me why, or what?”  
  
Takanori answers – quite indignantly while he’s at it, in fact. “I’m not.”  
  
“You _are_ ,” and Yuu’s staring at him now, an upset look on his face. “I know it’s hard to be with you when we’re here, but…”  
  
“I’m not some _needy_ fifteen-year-old boy you have to appease,” Takanori snorts. “Anyway, it’s not like I’m surprised. I already knew long ago that things would come to this. It’s why I told you that… _this_ … or whatever we used to have… wouldn’t work. It’d been different back on the road, and it’s definitely different now. You… you definitely don’t belong with me. You… You don’t _want_ to belong to me.”  
  
He’s sore about it, Yuu can tell, and that’s what breaks the raven’s heart. Takanori can’t see it, but Yuu can. Yuu can _see_ how dejected Takanori actually feels, all because they’ve been separated, and driven apart, by their social statuses and positions ever since they boarded the cruise.  
  
“I’m not staying away from you on purpose,” Yuu says, taking a step forward. “Look, Taka… I don’t… I don’t even know if I can go back to Kouyou anymore, really, when you’ve changed so much of me…”  
  
“Well, I hope you know at least that _you’re_ doing a piss-poor job at looking like you still want me in your life,” Takanori barks, in an uncontained moment of truth, and the anger in his voice startles not only Yuu, but even him, himself. “Because if I knew that I was going to be made to feel like I don’t _exist,_ the very moment you step back into your old life, I wouldn’t even have bothered with all of the _I love you_ s that I’ve given you. And I don’t know a lot about love, and maybe you think this is just a game of seducing every man you meet, but that’s not the way I work. That’s not the way _normal people_ work. You don’t know me. You don’t know what this means to me.”  
  
Takanori’s breathing heavily by the time he’s done, looking the most enraged he’s ever been. Yuu’s shocked by the outburst that has just left the blond; never having expected such raw sentiment to leave Takanori’s lips.  
  
“I see. So you’re upset because I’m not paying attention to you,” Yuu digests his words slowly. And it’s speedily leading up to a boiling rage, building up right inside of Yuu’s tightening chest, resentful at how Takanori was blaming their distance entirely on the raven’s part. “And somehow it’s my fault I’m dumping you aside when I’ve _practically_ begged you for days _not_ to take me back to Kouyou. It’s my fault… when I’ve told you just how much I’d be fine running away with you? I don’t understand why you’re mad at me when we’re now facing the inevitable? Let me remind you that it was _you_ who told me we’d be better off living our own lives in the first place! If anything, _YOU_ fucked up, Ruki!”  
  
Of course, Yuu had to pull out the Ruki card. Takanori knows Yuu only does it out of spite, knowing it’s guaranteed to hurt the blond.  
  
Because it does.  
  
“You’re going to have to decide how you want to love me,” Yuu snaps, gradually calming down now that Takanori doesn’t show any signs of retaliation. “Because I thought we were being mature adults about this and decided that it wasn’t going to work. That we had our own lives to get to, and that we’d be making sacrifices for one another. If you’re going to act like an immature, needy, fickle-minded fifteen-year-old, then forget it. You’re right. I don’t know you. I don’t know what you know about love. But love isn’t hurting me just because I can’t give you the things you want, exactly the way you want them. And I’d have assumed you’d know more about this than I do. After all, you taught me.”  
  
Takanori looks away, stubbornly, and folds his arms together with a protesting grunt.  
  
“I’m not being needy.”  
  
_Like hell you aren’t_ , Yuu thinks, but doesn’t voice it out.  
  
Takanori follows up with his words a moment later, in a quieter, much more ashamed tone.  
  
“I just didn’t know it’d hurt so much.”  
  
Yuu’s anger completely simmers down. Was there something he wasn’t getting? Because Yuu is ready to listen, he really is. He doesn’t like fighting, never liked arguing, and he doesn’t want to hurt Takanori unnecessarily in any way just because he can. “What… What hurt so much?”  
  
Takanori looks pained, as if it’s tearing him apart to be admitting something like this.  
  
“You… happy. With Kouyou.”  
  
And Yuu knows it’s not something he should rejoice at, but Takanori’s words warm his heart, and suddenly it all makes sense.  
  
“But I haven’t met Kouyou yet,” Yuu says.  
  
“I know. But I saw…” Takanori trails his words off, guiltily. “I saw you talking to him. You just… You looked happy. Talking to him. Happier than I thought you would be. Without me.”  
  
It’s as if Takanori’s incapable of forming concrete sentences, but every moment of _this_ is endearing to the raven. It’s a side to Takanori that he hasn’t seen before, and Yuu wonders if it’s because every part of this is _new_ to the blond assassin.  
  
It’s almost… adorable.  
  
“You’re jealous,” Yuu deduces, and then the anger – the hurt – the sadness, all pieces together in a perfect puzzle. “You’ve… You’ve been mad at me this whole time because you got… jealous?”  
  
“I know I don’t own you,” Takanori hisses, defensive of his actions. “But it hurt me. I’m not going to deny that. And I know we talked about this. About what our relationship was going to be. But I... I wasn’t prepared for how much it was going to hurt. I didn’t realise it was going to make me feel like… like nothing at all. I’d never felt so bad in my entire life. And _fine_. Maybe I really am acting like an immature, needy, fickle-minded fifteen-year-old. But the logic still stands that I… I’ve grown to have feelings for you, and I have to face the fact that you belong to someone else. Someone who can give you everything that you want. Something that I can’t do.”  
  
Yuu’s gaze softens at the realisation. Yuu has always been the only one to get through to Takanori’s weak side like this, and it pains him to hear that he’s hurting Takanori, even if he hadn’t meant to.  
  
“That’s not true.”  
  
“But you’re going to forget about me after this,” Takanori’s voice is strained as he speaks, sounding uncharacteristically devastated, and it stabs at Yuu’s heart. “You’re going to go back to _him_ , Yuu, and you’re going to be happier without me. And I was always prepared for that. I just wasn’t prepared for how bad it’d feel. I just hope you understand that. It’s not like I want you to change your mind and stay with me. It’s not like anything good would come out of that. I just… _I_ …”  
  
And it’s enough to make Yuu immediately step up and pull him into a tight embrace.  
  
“You know I choose you,” Yuu whispers, comfortingly, his arms hugging around Takanori’s neck closely. Takanori always feels so warm, so calming to the touch, and Yuu doesn’t ever want to separate from Takanori’s body like this, not when Takanori feels so right and perfect up against him. He’s missed Takanori so much in the day they’ve been apart, and this hug conveys everything he needs to say.  
  
“I just… didn’t know I loved you _this_ much,” Takanori mumbles off quietly, and Yuu doesn’t have to look up to know that tears have broken loose around the blond’s eyes. Yuu doesn’t think he’s ever seen Takanori so emotional, and it makes the raven feel a lump rise up to his throat himself.  
  
It’s the most broken Takanori has ever been.  
  
“We don’t have to do this, you know,” Yuu grips him tighter, sinks his head in deeper. “We can still run away.”  
  
And Takanori doesn’t deny him this time, no. He’s far too weak for that.  
  
“I want to, Yuu,” Takanori chokes out, in a moment of weakness, his eyes falling to a serene close. “ _So_ much. I dream of it too, you know. A normal life. A normal house. Someone like you to be with. Perhaps even a _family_. I’d be happy. I’d have some sort of purpose, at least. I’d gotten so used to being alone, that… that I didn’t know it was possible to feel this sort of bubbly feeling in your chest. That love was supposed to feel this way. You make me so… _happy._ In ways I didn’t even think possible.”  
  
_In ways only you can do._  
  
“We could have all of that,” Yuu nods his head, smiling at the idea. “I’d like that. I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t have expectations. I wouldn’t have to try to be a Yuu that everyone likes. We don’t need much. We’d be happy.”  
  
“We wouldn’t have to do much,” the tears gradually clear up with every happy thought that comes Takanori’s way. “We’d live somewhere safe. And not so dark and dreary. Maybe somewhere sunny, like the beach. Isn’t that where all happy families go? I wouldn’t let you worry about anything. I’d protect you.”  
  
Yuu has never felt safer in anyone’s arms.  
  
“I’d leave Kouyou in a heartbeat, for you,” Yuu says seriously, just as he pulls back enough so their eyes can meet. “I’d go with you. We’ll get our beach house, and we’ll get our family. Kouyou’s never been anything I wanted. You know I’m not lying about this. You can still take me away. I’d go. I’d go with you. I’ll give you everything I want. I… I love you.”  
  
And Takanori wants to grow hopeful about this, but the rational part of him knows he can’t. There’s way too much at stake, unfortunately. And Takanori won’t let him. He won’t let Yuu suffer for his own happiness.  
  
“He’ll make you happier than I ever will,” Takanori says sadly, knowing it’s the truth.  
  
“He likes the Yuu that I have to force myself to be,” Yuu murmurs, hurt. “I’ll only be miserable if I live out the rest of my life with him. You know that. You know me.”  
  
“I can’t,” Takanori squeezes his eyes shut, knowing he has to prioritise Yuu above all of his selfish desires. “Yuu, I can’t. I can’t take you away from him. He has _power_ , Yuu, and I’ve seen enough of that in my lifetime. It’s fine if he hurts me, but I can’t pull you into the equation. You’re better off with him. You’re smart, you should know how much safer you’d be with him. I love you too, _so, so_ much, but I just… can’t.”  
  
And Yuu’s tired, he’s completely exhausted. He’s tired of going back and forth with the blond about this, and he’s tired of having to deal with this exhausting love at hand. He’s tired of being allowed to know true love just when he least expected it, and he’s tired of constantly being told what to do. Yuu’s never allowed to make a decision for himself, and he’s tired of loving and being loved by all the wrong people at hand.  
  
Yuu’s words come out way harsher than he’d intended them to be.  
  
“Then don’t fucking cry when I go back to him.”  
  
And in that single moment Takanori no longer feels his heart.  
  
“I didn’t mean it,” Yuu takes it back a second later, when he watches all light disappear from Takanori’s eyes. “I said it because I was angry. At me. At us. I didn’t mean it, Taka.”  
  
“No, you’re right,” Takanori says, and suddenly it’s as if all emotion is lost on him. His voice has been stripped of love, and his eyes have turned vacant. He’s back to being detached, and the only evidence that the man once had feeling is the dried up moisture detectable around his eyes. “You did mean it, and you were right.”  
  
_I’ve hurt him._ And the knowledge punches Yuu in the gut. He’d said it out of spite, and suddenly Takanori’s reverting back to his previously reserved self, clouding any possible ounce of emotion from the raven.  
  
“I really didn’t,” Yuu pleads, reaching over to clutch at Takanori’s wrist, but Takanori’s already turning away, ready to leave his sight. “Taka, _please_ – I’m so sorry, I love you, please, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” and he’s rushing forward to block the blond from leaving, forcing the assassin to look at him. “Can we please talk about this?”  
  
“I’m not some needy fifteen-year-old you have to appease,” Takanori repeats himself, and Yuu’s heart is fragmented into bits at how quickly Takanori flips a switch and discards any sort of humane form of emotion he was holding from before. It must be hard, to live like that. To live like he’s fine with being alone, safeguarding himself from the rest of the world. Yuu has always lived so freely, and it hurts to know that Takanori is used to subjecting himself to… _this_ , as protection, for himself. Takanori deserves _so_ much better. And Yuu _is_ that better.  
  
“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about yourself,” Yuu whispers, regretful.  
  
“You need to stop thinking everything you do affects me,” Takanori mutters under his breath.  
  
“Doesn’t it?” Yuu’s eyes glimmer up to the blond, looking as beautiful as he’s always been.  
  
Takanori has no heart to deny Yuu the answer he deserves. His throat grows tight.  
  
“It does.”  
  
And so Yuu kisses him.  
  
And for just these few seconds, Takanori doesn’t think about anything else, except for the beach house they’d have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late updates.
> 
> I meant to update sooner, but I got rather disheartened [by some remarks made with relation to my writing](http://sweetlolixo.tumblr.com/post/155751855029/more-i-dont-want-to-make-a-big-deal-out-of) that I saw online, which upset me for a bit, and made me lose heart to finish these chapters. I'm only linking the above to clarify some assumptions made about me and my writing, just in case any of you hold the same thoughts.
> 
> In any case, I hope you enjoyed the above 2 chapters. I hope my writing hasn't been draggy, but it is what it is. Uni has begun, and the Chinese New Year up ahead is bound to busy me for a bit, but I'll try to get out the next few chapters as soon as I can. They'll be much more fast-paced, because certain things are going to happen.
> 
> I appreciate hearing your thoughts as usual. ♡
> 
>  **UPDATE 7/05/17:** I haven't updated for 4 full months. I know. I've already announced [my hiatus from writing on LJ](http://sweetlolixo.livejournal.com/238429.html) a couple months back, but here's an update for those who haven't noticed it. I'm now on indefinite hiatus from writing, because life has finally caught up with me. I've found myself getting increasingly distracted by things(and new people) in my life that consume my love and interest-- and that have made me lose heart and touch with my intense love for my fictions and even-- shipping. Thinking about Aoiha or Aoiki just no longer brings me the same feelings it once used to, and I wonder if I'll ever get this part of me back. I'm sorry for those interested in Redefined, because I really did have an entire story planned out, but I guess I just don't have the time, effort and energy for it right now. Possibly in the distant future, but not now. I'll see you guys around if the fire ever rekindles in me again.


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